What’s Wrong With Katie Holmes?

Alright, not necessarily gay news – unless you consider Tom Cruise’s beard “news” – but can take a second to address life’s biggest mystery: “What the hell has TC done with Katie Holmes?”

Here you see the famous couple in St. Tropez – well, Tom Cruise and a glassy-eyed figure which appears to be Katie Holmes. Sure, Holmes’ fashion’s dope, she’s got more money than God, a beautiful daughter and more press than almost anyone, but one can’t help but wonder if we were right and Cruise stole her brain.

Or maybe her brain’s intact, but has been forcibly vegetated by some special scientological cocktail. Either way, we feel for her, because obviously she can’t feel for herself.


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  • Beatniknight

    It seems like he’s always leading her by the hand. Like, she’s never in front of him, or even just next to him. It’s like he just drags her around all day.

  • Dawster

    uugh… or those pictures when they were at a ball game and Tom was trying to kiss Katie every five minutes. i just want to scream.

    he just seems to act more and more like an insecure aging queen. oh wait… got to kiss Katie again.

    and Katie’s brain is sitting on Xenu’s shelf somewhere. won’t someone PLEASE HELP HER ESCAPE? this isn’t healthy.

    oh wait… gotta kiss Katie again.

  • Dawster

    wait… don’t forget to kiss Katie again…

  • Gregg

    Maybe she was just tired. It’s exhausting trying to live your life when you’re under contract to pretend to be a gay man’s wife.

    And Tommy Boy – damn he is one ugly queen. I’ve never found him attractive, but he ain’t aging gracefully at all.

    Am I being bitchy?

  • Stenar

    Katie looks totally drunk or stoned in those photos. He must have her on some sort of meds…or maybe SciFi-ology “auditing” has done this to her brain.


  • Jack Jett

    My extensive background in pharmacuticals tells me that it is a bit of xanax mixed with a couple of vikes, a valium and two glasses of Pinot Grigio.

    Her eyes are glazed because she is dreaming of being the next Nicole Kidman instead of Katie Beard.

    jack jett

  • HL

    I looked like that. When I was on painkillers after surgery.

  • vince

    do you hear the shrieking of his shirt’s buttons?

    ’cause i’m now deaf.

  • abelincoln

    Well, either she’s all tired of this shit or she’s just gone all Stepford.

  • Martini-boy

    Maybe the published pictures are a selection of the worst ones — the ones that make her look all dazed out.

    Or, she may have had a VERY exciting eight hour session of hot, passionate sex with Mr. Cruise before heading out.

  • blondie67

    geez! after rupert murdoch became an american citizen that left james packer as the richest australian, who is a bloody scientologist also and married some thin brunette that had some promise, doesn’t it show that scientology is some money making CULT, Europe can see it! thank god our Nic got out and married Keith

  • blondie67

    beckettboo. scientologists have XENU not XANAX LOL

  • GranDiva

    Okay, Nicole Kidman remained Catholic throughout her marriage to Cruise…

    Perhaps if the Cruised One had more XANAX and less XENU, he wouldn’t be having all these problems in Germany right now.

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