What’s Wrong With Katie Holmes?

Alright, not necessarily gay news – unless you consider Tom Cruise’s beard “news” – but can take a second to address life’s biggest mystery: “What the hell has TC done with Katie Holmes?”

Here you see the famous couple in St. Tropez – well, Tom Cruise and a glassy-eyed figure which appears to be Katie Holmes. Sure, Holmes’ fashion’s dope, she’s got more money than God, a beautiful daughter and more press than almost anyone, but one can’t help but wonder if we were right and Cruise stole her brain.

Or maybe her brain’s intact, but has been forcibly vegetated by some special scientological cocktail. Either way, we feel for her, because obviously she can’t feel for herself.