I’m all for tips to keep us safe, particularly during Pride celebrations, when New York’s gays will be dancing on the pier and Chicago’s queers will be rubbing up against the Stanley Cup. In San Francisco, revelers will welcome the 40th anniversary of pride, with the Backstreet Boys and Andy Bell playing sets, and that’s where the Clubbers Guide to Safety is making its debut. It’s a pocket-sized pamphlet with common sense tips to keeping out of trouble while enjoying Ke$ha remixes, like reporting to police any criminal activity you witness, refusing drinks from strangers or leaving yours vulnerable on the bar. Also, remember that pickpockets “dance close and slip your wallet out,” so you shouldn’t “carry large amounts of cash or multiple credit cards.” So, uh, cower in the corner by yourself, don’t interact with anyone, and sorry but top shelf cocktails are off limits since you left the house with minimal dinero. Oh, I kid! Have fun, be safe, and buy me a drink, ’cause I left my wallet at home like I was told!