Well, queer we are, kids. It’s Monday morning and Nick Gruber — noted heterosexual, former gay porn star and (most famously) Calvin Klein’s on-again-off-again-gay-again boy toy — is already making headlines. This isn’t news so much as just juicy gossip from one queen to another. And that queen is gay porn impressario Michael Lucas. Make sure your emergency flashlight is charged ’cause the shade is about to fly.
Lucas attended Fire Island‘s annual Ascension Party — where, he notes, he buys “a large VIP tent” and invites his friends to party and bullshit. Not only did Gruber not receive an invite, he apparently also missed the memo that Fire Island is gayer than a 22-year-old boy dating a 70-year-old man for fur and jewelry, leading to this lovely story Lucas so graciously shared via Facebook:
I saw this arrogant guy who was being rude to people, shoving two guys away after they bumped into him. I heard him say, “Keep your hands away from me! I”m straight!” So I went over to him, and asked him why he was being so rude.
He said, “I am straight, and I don’t want any gay people to touch me.” At which point, I told him “you’re leaving.”
He said, “do you know who I am?” I said, “I don’t know, and I don’t even want to know who you think you are.”
Then he said, “Try me.” I said “Watch me.” I called over to security and had him hauled away without his feet even touching the floor. Then someone explained to me that this is the ex boyfriend of Calvin Klein, Nick Gruber, who just “came out” as “straight.”
I have never heard about this guy before and had no idea what he looked like. I’ve never read any of the gossip that supposedly surrounds him. So, I guess he came to a gay party to let everyone know he is “straight.”
For an allegedly straight guy Nick Gruber sure has stunt-queening down to a science.