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  ONE-HORSE OPEN, NAY

One Million Moms Not Swallowing Kmart’s Jingle Balls Without A Fight

jingle-balls

Those stalwart guardians of morality and good Christian values, One Million Moms, have taken serious offense at Kmart for their ode to boy joy, the “Show Your Joe” commercial.

Now, usually OMM doesn’t provide links to the cause of their outrage for fear of contributing “to this filth being spread around even more” but this time they “made an exception” to show how cute and adorable “ridiculous and disgusting” the ad is:

Kmart (Sears Brands, LLC) has a new commercial that is not only offensive — but this once family department store has made a deliberate decision to produce controversial advertisements instead of wholesome ones. This is a terrible plan on Kmart’s part, especially at this time of year!

The title of the current ad is “Show Your Joe,” and Kmart includes sexual content during a Christmas hand bell choir performance. The commercial focuses on several men wearing Joe Boxer underwear thrusting in a sexualized way to the tune of Jingle Bells. They start gyrating and shaking themselves instead of the hand bells, intending to make their “bells” ring in song — which is highly inappropriate.

Clutch the pearls! There’s “thrusting”! And “gyrating”! And “shaking”! Their “bells”! In a “sexualized! Way“! Whoever wrote this press release clearly needs a cold bath in a large tub. But if the One Million Moms are so hard-pressed about the gentlejinglers using their bells instead of hand bells, why don’t they just roll up those sweater-set sleeves and lend ‘em a hand? Be the solution, not the problem.

h/t: Huff Po

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Nov 22, 2013
Tagged: , ,

  • 51 Comments
    • Tackle
      Tackle

      That was cute and very harmless. Don’t they have bigger things to fight about ?

      Nov 22, 2013 at 10:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      I think the One Million Mental cases need to take a deep breath and get a hobby! These sexually-frustrated bimbos most likely haven’t seen a set of balls jingle for ages and they almost popped their false teeth from the gyrations. The best advice for these clowns is to have them each buy a plastic vibrator and gently sit on it for a half day three times a week. Eventually their blood pressure will return to normal. They must have really had piglets when K-Mart ran the “I Just Shipped My Pants” advert! Silly blokes!

      Nov 22, 2013 at 10:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @Dakotahgeo: And these people wonder why even their own kind don’t pay any attention to them, all 40,000+ members! OMM, my foot!

      Nov 22, 2013 at 10:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Degas
      Degas

      Instead of clutching at their pearls, I suggest a different kind of pearl necklace to distract them from their imaginary problems.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 11:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BBellairs
      BBellairs

      To me, the Victoria’s Secret ads are MUCH more sexual than this innocent little ad for KMart. Yet these silly “MOMS” don’t have a thing to say about them, but then again they aren’t ‘gasp, men gyrating’.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 11:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kathukid
      Kathukid

      I’ve got a feeling that “One Million Moms” is nothing but a couple of uptight bitches somewhere in Tennessee.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 11:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • carolmck
      carolmck

      How many times do we see our youth wiggle their booties? How many times do we SEE the booty of young men in their low slung, too big pants? My opinion is the commercial is a cute one…one I enjoy. Who are these women? Afraid to watch the ‘bells’ as they might remember something they USED to do? I would say these women need to get a life but anyone who hears their complaint knows that. Stand strong, Kmart!!

      Nov 22, 2013 at 12:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      One Million Mon’s couldn’t even get 3,000 signatures on the last petition they tried.

      If they were every sued for truth in advertising they would have to change their names to “35 people paid by anti-gay groups to pretend that they are One Million Moms”

      Nov 22, 2013 at 1:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      Oh, and off topic, Ender’s Game is now going on a month and still hasn’t passed the amount of money that Gravity made on it’s first weekend.

      The Hunger Games Sequel made nearly the same amount in it’s pre-opening Thursday night release as Ender’s Game made in it’s first four day weekend.

      Being anti-gay is bad business, One Million Mom’s should take note.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 1:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo
      2eo

      @Cam: A personal friend of mine got the full rip of Enders Game, his post and magnet is responsible for over 600,000 downloads.

      I bought the man a copy of Deus Ex: HR for his trouble.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 1:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @2eo:

      LOL! Nice!

      Well, their PR department tried and tried to pretend that the boycott hadn’t hurt claiming that it was Number One for that weekend.

      Yeah, because nothing else came out that was big. However, even with no competition it still brought in less money than “After Earth” did IT’s first weekend.

      Not counting the tends of millions they spent on PR Enders cost $110 million just to film. It has now been out almost a month and hasn’t even made half of that yet.

      Looks like Card won’t be making money on those sequels after all. :)

      Nov 22, 2013 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Red_Dragon_888
      Red_Dragon_888

      One million moms, actually about 23 or so, must have watched that video one million times and then decided to keep a copy stashed somewhere and then complain that it is just “Too Sexy For My Shirt…, Too Sexy For My Milan…, Too Sexy For My Xmas,… What You Think About That.” Whatever, they help put that commercial more in the public eye and now more people will see that display of “Ding Dongs” thanks to their “Big Mouths.”

      Nov 22, 2013 at 3:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • krystalkleer
      krystalkleer

      the 50 or so soccer c*nts wanna seem relevent regardless how foolish they sound!
      http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/11/buff-n-puff.html

      Nov 22, 2013 at 4:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sammy Schlipshit
      Sammy Schlipshit

      Somehow I think Kmart and Joe Boxer couldn’t be any more happy. Tons more publicity than if those hags had just ignored it.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 5:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kayel7
      kayel7

      Ok you soccer moms really need to get laid . Your trying to say this joe boxer commercial is to sexy for Christmas . What about Victoria secret . That is soft porn if I ever seen something like that . But you don’t see men calling in and complaining about that . I’m sure you have lesbians that love to watch Victoria secret commercials . The same as gay men like joe boxer Kmart commercial . Nothing wrong shaking you bonbons . Ladies get out of your 4 block radius and live a little. Complain about something else in this world . Thank god I don’t have a nagging wife.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 5:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tomron
      tomron

      I’m an 80 year old fairly conservative (at least where “sexy and salacious things are concerned), gay man, and I’m here to report that even 60 years ago this would have been seen as “cute”, “clever”, “fun”, “darling”, (fill in all the other adjectives you can think of that would denote “family values”. These women must be throwbacks from the Victorian era!

      Nov 22, 2013 at 5:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sammy Schlipshit
      Sammy Schlipshit

      @tomron: Thanks for your perspective. At 67 I can attest to that.

      I am amused when each generation seems to think they invented sex…and all that goes with it.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 5:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ann Mason
      Ann Mason

      Personally, I’ve been more concerned about the fact that K-Mart plans to be open for Thanksgiving, denying their employees a family holiday.

      Thank goodness One Million Moms has cleared up the confusion. Now it’s clear that this mildly naughty but hilarious commercial is more damaging to families than eliminating one of the few opportunities for relatives to see each other and enjoy a meal together.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 5:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sammy Schlipshit
      Sammy Schlipshit

      @Ann Mason: Good point. I once thought that greed in this extreme capitalist culture couldn’t get any more pronounced.

      I was wrong.

      Our work ethic is the laughing stock of the first world countries…and I ain’t countin’ China. They’re not quite fully first world just yet.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 6:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeffinsydney
      jeffinsydney

      From the country that brought us the term Mother F’ers (?) and we have a situation with a bunch of them with no sense of humor?

      Was there this much who-ha over; “I just shipped my pants?”

      Nov 22, 2013 at 7:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sammy Schlipshit
      Sammy Schlipshit

      @jeffinsydney:

      Outrage with the play on words with ‘ship’?

      Of course not.

      It’s not gay identified….although in our family tree I’ll just bet somebody is doing a version of ‘two girls, one cup’.

      Too bad most of ‘merica isn’t bright enough to call out and dismiss hypocrisy when they see/hear it.

      Oh the horror of it all.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 7:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hotshot70
      hotshot70

      These “million” moms need to go back to their houses and take care of their husbands (or cats) and shut there traps. The “Ship your pants” ad was funny, and when these bimbos tried to pull a “gay” ad from another store, they failed. This group is only a handful of desperate women who cannot get a man or partner. So, they are meaningless. Keep up the funny ads, Kmart!

      Nov 22, 2013 at 9:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • longnecklady@gmail.com
      longnecklady@gmail.com

      Good God Ladies Get a Grip. Children are bullying other children so that they take their lives and THIS is what you are up in arms over? I cannot believe that there are actually OMM idiots in the world, no wonder we are circling the drain as a society

      Nov 22, 2013 at 10:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwtraveler
      jwtraveler

      I’m sure these mothas would be happier if these guys were advertising something more wholesome, like semi-automatic handguns.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 10:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sammy Schlipshit
      Sammy Schlipshit

      @jwtraveler:

      True.

      They seem to be awfully quiet on any other subject than homo news.

      What sad, small minded, pathetic folks they are.

      Nov 23, 2013 at 1:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      The commercial really is inappropriate as is so much of today’s advertising.

      “Righteousness exalteth a nation… sin is a reproach to any people.”

      America is heading downhill rapidly.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @longnecklady@gmail.com: The reason we are circling the drain is because of so much sin and degradation in our country.

      One Million Moms is trying to stop that downward slide.

      Too many people call evil good and good evil.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Sammy Schlipshit: @Sammy Schlipshit: 1/3 of all cases of pedophilia involve homosexuals (2% of the population) and as mothers they are rightfully concerned about that.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Sammy Schlipshit: @Sammy Schlipshit: “What sad, small minded, pathetic folks they are.”

      But those who are involved in sexual perversion are not, right?

      Hmmm.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @tomron: No, these are just women who are sick and tired of the trashing of American culture by a few advertising companies and Hollywood.

      We ticket and chastise those who toss litter and filth on our public areas, but somehow excuse those who trash our popular culture.

      Evil has become good and good evil.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Cam: That terrible, horrific, bigoted, hateful Orson Scott Card… how dare he stand up for the pattern of marriage that Almighty God has ordained!

      Crucify him!

      Lucy Furr

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @guest4ever: Sounds as if Mr. Honeywagon, aka guest4ever has sprung a leak of filth, fallen down and can’t it up type of mentality. Don’t worry, Pussykat, Mommy will bring your warm milk and bwankie and you’ll be alright. That monster you saw in the mirror won’t be back until you wake up in the morning… DON’T turn off the light though!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 6:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @Ann Mason: I dread the Holidays…. The last thing I want to do is sit around a table with my husbands homophobic Okie family and eat overcooked over seasoned food…. Last year I took a fresh cranberry chutney and I think they still have that shocked look on their faces….@Dakotahgeo: I love all your comments but that last was brilliant. Is Ms. guest4ever one of those trolls that i read about? Or is it a different creature altogether?

      Nov 24, 2013 at 10:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @AuntieChrist: Usually the ‘guests’ you see posting on blogs are either ashamed of what they write or too embarrassed, sometimes both. Yup, s/he’s a troll but sounds vaguely familiar. The worst two I’ve ever met were MrIncredibleInJesus’Name and PhilJourdan. Seriously, they sounded also like one and the same. There can’t possibly be that many human nematodes out there in this age! Kudos for your thoughts!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 10:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Dakotahgeo: What? I speak the truth… there is no monster behind that.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @AuntieChrist: Just a truthseeker… that’s all I am.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 12:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Dakotahgeo: They said Jesus had a devil.

      Why?

      Because He spoke the truth.

      I speak the truth.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 12:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @guest4ever: I hate to break it to you honey, but you’re looking in the wrong places. Religion and superstition are the same thing and a refuge for a feeble mind. I know people like you never change never grow never learn. Just because you read something in a book does not make it true. Self discovery and truth only exist within you. Not outside of you. I really don’t know why I am responding to you you won’t listen. Your kind never does.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 2:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @guest4ever: Jesus didn’t have a devil. Jesus just had constipation.

      Too much pita bread and lamb, not enough hummus!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 4:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @AuntieChrist: Hmmm… let me see, I can follow your teachings or I can follow the teachings of the Savior of the world, whose wisdom is contained in the most widely published and read book in the history of the world, and who created this world under the direction of His father.

      Can you guess what my choice is?

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @the other Greg: @the other Greg: “Jesus didn’t have a devil.”

      Right you are, my friend.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 5:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @AuntieChrist: I don’t agree with everything you said but yes, in all respects, change comes to a person who is open to change and self-betterment. People like guest4ever are simple-minded armchair theologians who can be led over a cliff by other simple-minded people… who haven’t had an original thought since their pappy and mammy “learned” them. We ran into these Pharisees and zealots every once in awhile at the Baptist Seminary. They don’t hang around long. Facts and education scare them to death.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 6:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @the other Greg: LOLOL… thank you! My partner and I weere bantering back and forth just last night (Ario lives in Brazil and we will be married before next December) about the humanity of Jesus Christ My answer to Ari’s question was, “Yes, of course Jesus farted! He was divine and also human.” Ari said, “Nooooo, Jesus was an angel… angels do not fart, ever!” I then asked well, why do his robes never touch the ground?” Ari’s response: “Hmmmmmmm…!” Ari is also a Catholic who studied for the Priesthood but mercifully “saw the light” before saying his first Mass but we DElightful back-and-forth arguments. So when people like the troll, guest4ever, come around, I always ask myself, “What would Ari say?” Have a great week! Dak and Ari!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 6:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @Dakotahgeo: I should explain that Ari is Catholic and I am a retired Baptist minister/hospital-hospice Chaplain, turned Progressive Mennonite Church which is GLBT-supportive in talk AND walk! Very heart-warming, accepting place!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 6:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @guest4ever: Judging from the depth of your theology, I’d venture to guess ham and cheese on rye with a shot of Jack Daniels!

      Nov 24, 2013 at 6:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @Dakotahgeo: I really do respect your beliefs…You are obviously an intelligent human being… I often think were I able to have faith such as yours, I might very well be a happier person… I require something more having spent most of my life digging up bones and artifacts… God is to me like throwing salt over ones shoulder… In all my travels I have not found one shred of empirical evidence that modern religions are any different from worshiping a rock a mountain or an animal except there is a certain amount of practicality in animism, whereas putting ones faith in an unseen monotheistic being seems unreal albeit comforting I suppose… Would that I could but alas my course is fixed :-)

      Nov 24, 2013 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @AuntieChrist: LOLOL… when people think I’m intelligent, I always want it on paper, signed, and notarized, heh heh. I’ve called many things and I enjoy “intelligent” the most. Nope, AC, I’m just average and I have to work hard to attain anything. As a minister (Ret.) I have never been a “in-your-face Christian… I despise that type of person. They insult one’s intelligence, they judge and rank a person, usually setting themselves above anyone and everyone. I think one of the hardest things to justify is the concrete vs. the unseen vs. the seen. The difference is between concrete/proof and faith/taking that chance. I’ve observed that a lot of these so-called armchair theologians make the Holy Bible their god, instead of having a living, breathing relationship WITH God. And these little heathen christian bastards are actually PROUD that they’re better than you, me, or anyone else. That is not Christian. So anyway, I digress.
      One can always alter their course but I recommend against that. I happen to think that God will meet you anywhere you are… God has a great GPS system, lolol. But it would be awfully nice to sit and have an afterrnoon coffee, tea, or beer with you… make that wine. Kudos.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 7:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • guest4ever
      guest4ever

      @Dakotahgeo: Actually, I avoid pork. And I would prefer Eggs Florentine with fresh limeade sweetened with date palm sugar.

      So much for your spirit of discernment.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @AuntieChrist: ” I often think were I able to have faith such as yours, I might very well be a happier person.”

      There is that possibility, AC, but you will find many unhappy Christians also. But they are not happy with themselves so they cannot be happy with anyone else. guest4ever is a good example. Being a anti-GLBT person that he is, what is he doing in GLBT-related blogs except to push an agenda (any agenda) that is contrary to what people espouse? He’s simply making a fool of himself. There are multitudes of people who do NOT believe in Christianity that are extremely happy in life. What is their secret? Wellllll, they’re content, they happy, and THAT is the attitude they spread to others. We can’t help but catch that spirit as humans… enough preaching, lolol.

      Nov 24, 2013 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      @AuntieChrist: I just found this gem this morning. This man is one of my most favorite people to listen to. Christianity does not have all the answers, nor does any religion. But this tickled me and I ant to share it with you guys:

      http://www.upworthy.com/the-dalai-lama-has-some-very-uplifting-and-wise-words-about-farting?c=upw9

      Enjoy, my friends. Dak and Ario!

      Nov 25, 2013 at 11:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hdonovan
      hdonovan

      So a Million Moms don’t swallow; are we surprised?

      Nov 26, 2013 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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