Forget the dangers and woes of trying to find good men on “dating apps” like Tinder and Grindr. You don’t even need apps to meet them, according to British crooner Sam Smith.
The 22-year-old singer told Metro this week that apps are ruining romance and when it came time to find his own boyfriend, he did it the old-fashioned way.
“No offense to people who go on Tinder but I just feel like it’s ruining romance, I really do,” he said. “We’re losing the art of conversation and being able to go and speak to people and you’re swiping people.”
He added: “From my experience the most beautiful people I’ve been on dates with are the dumbest, so why would I swipe people who are ‘unattractive’ when I could potentially fall in love with them? Stop Tinder and Grindr!”
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Smith also hints for the first time since coming out in May that he is no longer single. “I’ve been on a couple of dates,” he said. “I’m good at dates. I used to get really nervous but now I’m better. There is one particular guy that I’ve been on a few dates with. I like him but who knows?”
There’s your cue, Queerty readers. Who is Sam Smith dating?
Cam
I just got married this summer to a wonderful man I met on Grindr. We chatted for 2 months before we even met up for a date. It’s all about how you use the app. Remember the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”? You have to learn to not judge a person by one picture and a short snippet about himself.
barkomatic
Sam Smith is focusing on the fact that you can “swipe” to the left or right on a person’s photo based upon whether you find them attractive or not on Tinder and some of the other apps. He seems to imply this is a bad thing because you could end up attracted to a persons personality more than their looks if you speak to them first.
However, doesn’t this same dynamic play out in person? If you meet someone at a party or a bar, you may not even approach them if you don’t find them attractive. I’m not saying flatly rejecting someone based upon appearance is right, all I’m saying is that the behavior existed prior to these apps is all. I bet if you took a time machine to the 1960’s and talked to gay men you’d find that they too talked more to guys they were physically attracted to.
Budhaisan
Simply being a celebrity does not automatically qualify an individual’s opinion for higher regard.
BJ McFrisky
@Cam: Congratulations on your marriage, Cam! May you and your newly betrothed have many happy times together.
Dxley
Well, I simply “denounce” Grindr because it’s full of slut-faces; actually, make that slut-torsos. Going on Grindr with the hopes of getting a solid relationship? I wouldn’t hold my breath!
Masc Pride
Way to take the guy out of context to create a sensationalized headline! Sam didn’t really “denounce” anything. He simply stated why he feels the apps are impersonal, and he even prefaced this statement with “No offense to people who go on…”
Aromaeus
Of course he has a problem with those apps because let’s face it, it’s only good for people who are conventionally attractive and he’s…not.
spanky
With his thoughts on social media I assume he is dating his right hand.
jimstoic
True love is hard to find, especially if you’re not in a Big Gay Mecca. Take it wherever you find it.
NG22
@Cam: Congratulations! That’s wonderful news. Best of luck to you and your husband.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@Cam: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
#IT SHOULDA BEEN MEEEE! :'(
Oh well.
Congrats anyway.
“THAT PERSON” better not ruin you by making you all happy and mellow and shit! We need our slightly cantankerous and lovably combative Cam!
mrzodiac2003
Congratulations on finding a man who is actually interested in romance. All I find now a days at such sites is people who only want to trick. I’ve given up on finding romance. I don’t believe in romance anymore.
pavel
He is 22, what are we talking about here? If he was 35 and had experiences that can truly be reflected in a relationship – then i wud listen to.
niles
Yes, we have been dating for a while. It’s been a whirlwind affair – intoxicating but with a touch of whimsy. Wish us luck.
Alan down in Florida
When did you stop being single after only a couple of dates?
Stache99
@mrzodiac2003:There’s some real serial sluts on those sites for sure. Outside of the nympho’s I’d say most are open to some romance. Maybe it’s time to trick your tricks. Instead of just jumping in the sack get to know them first.
Stache99
@pavel: At 22 I knew everything there was to know and would tell you. However, looking back I was dumber then fuck. Just completely clueless. Most are btw. Thank god no one gave me a blog to write my BS back then though.
pavel
@Stache99 – there u go :)))
Ryan26pdx
My parents were wasted at a bar when they met/hooked up/conceived me, and they’ve been happily married for twenty eight years now. Although my Mom didn’t even know she was pregnant with me until a week after my Dad proposed. My boyfriend of two years (who I met on craigslist of all places) recently confessed that my Dad has been pressuring him to pop the question to me.
Every time someone goes down the “these days…” road, I roll my eyes. As much as the way humans go about life will invariably change, human nature itself will continue to change very little.
AtticusBennett
I’ve made terrific life-long friends from “gay sites”/Apps. Great Lovers. Boyfriends.
What’s this guy saying? NOTHING. “I was single, until i was famous! i did it the right way!”
ok. and do you think you’d have snagged your man were you not famous? don’t be so quick to say yes, dude.
he’s 22. this is his first relationship. it will not be his last….
SteveDenver
He has a boyfriend he met the old fashioned way and that’s awesome.
Does he seriously think that eliminating hook-up apps (dating, puh-leeze) is going to make those who use them more romantic? That’s like trying to get dogs to stop peeing on everything by getting rid of fire hydrants.
barkomatic
He’s been on a “few dates” with someone and that means he’s off the market and can’t judge how other gay people meet? Well, isn’t that cute.
Dxley
Stop over-analyzing this, you stupid bitches. No one gives a flying fuck about all your life stories. What Sam said was nothing more than just an opinion and if you feel the need to go ape over this then you know you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, hence your rage at this young man’s opinion.
For some of you, as you’ve already said, it’s in your genes to fuck around with perfect strangers. You’re nothing more than a product of a drunken fuck between two stupid, reckless, horny people who knew nothing about one another; so relax, we completely understand that you just can’t help it.
Saint Law
@Dxley: “so relax, we understand that you just can’t help it”
It squawks, as it hammers the keyboard through bitter, stinging tears.
Dxley
@Saint Law: Your stupid, smug, snarky, sarcastic and unfunny remarks are fucking old just like yourself. I’m sure the only time I ever reply to you is when you direct shit at me. You say all you want all the time but I never reply to it because I just don’t think too much or too highly of it. Would you mind doing the same? Thanks!
Saint Law
@Dxley: No. It’s lol watching you fap yourself in to a tizzy.
Saint Law
@Dxley: You sad, thick, squeaky little eunuch.
xx
Bulls Eye
Other than being some 22 year-old know-it-all, I have absolutely no idea who Sam Smith is or why I should care what he says about anything. And the article ends by asking us to figure out who he could be dating.
Is this the best QUEERTY can do? If this keeps up, I guess I’ll be deleting this account any day now.
Jacob23
Good for him! Another sign that my generation will have greater expectations for life and we will pursue a better course to make those expectations a reality. IMHO, Grindr is nothing more than the latest medium in which an oppressive loveless life is foisted onto gay and bi men. Pre-1970, this was the only option available. For a few decades after that the misery was extended, due to a combination of outside stigma and threats coupled with the misguided decision-making of some urban gay men. But finally the old ways are dying out, since they can no longer be perpetuated by external or internalized homophobia. Very difficult to convince someone who respects himself to spend his life having sex with faceless torsos.
And to the dumbasses who try to tear him down as a way to justify a Grindr-ized life: Say what you like, but you are fighting against love, and no one who fights against love ever wins in the end.
goofyjoemoore
There is something wrong about this kid, newly out of the closet, telling me how I should go about meeting people. Also, what stopped him from going out with the “unattractive” people on there? No one forced him to only go out with the pretty ones.
I’m glad he’s in a relationship, I like seeing people happy. Don’t be like those ex smokers who denounce all smokers…just because we’re still on Grindr, doesn’t mean we’re only looking for the “pretty ones”.
AtticusBennett
@goofyjoemoore: well said. i don’t get this “pretty ones” nonsense. and he misses th reality – he has a man because he’s famous. let’s be real.
@Jacob23: that didn’t make a lick of sense. how is anyone saying “actually I had a good experience using Grindr” in any way “fighting against love”?
Stache99
@Jacob23: Yes sweety cakes. No better way to preach about how we all need to love one another more then by calling everyone “dumbasses”. I have to agree with Atticus. Wtf are you babbling about this time?
Some people use Grinder just for sex and that’s a-ok. Some have found some relationships from it too.
The only oppression that I can see is between your ears.
AtticusBennett
I’ve made platonic friends from Grindr. I’ve had hookups from Grindr that became platonic friends. I’ve had hookups “the old fashioned way” out in public. I’ve had “old fashioned” dates that went nowhere and were boring wastes of a night’s coin.
sam smith is 22 and dating a guy for the first time in his entire life, AFTER becoming famous. yeah. put it all together.
Scott Baldwin
This coming from the singer who sounds as if there is always someone directly below his testicles, crushing them at any time to make him hit a high note.
My hate for this douche nozzle continues to grow.