Jesse Metcalfe doesn't have a very big funny bone.

The soon-to-be washed up actor went a bit mad after blogger Perez Hilton joked about his potential homosexuality.

…Hilton was left in a panic when Metcalfe threatened to murder him - after he "joked" the actor was gay.
…
Hilton was unnerved when Desperate Housewives hunk Metcalfe took speculation over his sexuality seriously.

[Says Hilton] "That was quite negative energy. He was drunk and said he wanted me dead. I was quite shocked. I'd only joked that he might be gay, what's the big deal?"

Perhaps Metcalfe's simply trying to emulate his new butch image. Or maybe Hilton hit a nerve…

Actor Jesse Metcalfe and his chest hair are attempting to shed his boy-man image.

Is it working?

Each Sunday night we switch on Desperate Housewives not to watch those middle-aged bitches further ruin their already messed up lives but to marvel at that 8th Wonder of the World: Jesse Metcalfe’s overly-manscaped eyebrows. They’re so carefully waxed that they’re just a little too perfect, too unnatural. Of course, we’ll forgive Jesse, but we ain’t forgiving you.

Use a pair of tweezers for plucking. It’s safe and easy but plucking one hair at a time can be time consuming. Keep in mind constant plucking from the root can eventually cause them to stop growing altogether, causing you to look like a drag queen before the show. Sephora stocks our favorite tweezers.

If you’ve got the dough, you can have someone do the work for you. Get them waxed by an expert. New York’s Nickel Spa will only set you back twenty bucks, but bring those D&G sunglasses to your appointment, so you can leave without anyone seeing the redness and irritation.

One last thing. If you’re going to go with electrolysis, go to a pro. We really don’t trust any form of home electrolysis, even if the battery-operated gadget promises “permanent hair removal.” The last thing you want is for some cheap machine to scar up your skin so it ends up looking like Seal’s.