• In case you didn't know, Siegfried and Roy are gay.

They just never came out. Las Vegas magicians Siegfried & Roy are coming out of the closet in a highly anticipated autobiography soon to be released. It may not come as a big surprise to most people that the two performers are gay but it will be the first time they admit to this officially.

According to details from the upcoming book leaked to the National Enquirer, Siegfried and Roy [were] once very much in love but have since transformed their relationship into a working partnership and a deep friendship.

Now that that's out of the way, we can all go on living our lives.

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• For reasons unknown even to them, Gawker decided to post this video of the world's first "bear synth band", BearForce1. Your life will never, ever be the same…

• JC Chasez came out of hiding long enough to have his "heterosexuality" photography.

• Anti-gay activist Patricia McKeever "honored" to be nominated as Britain's Bigot of the Year.

• Britain's Minister of Sport saves Iranian lesbian from deportation. For now, at least…

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We're absolutely dumbfounded by this picture of Paris Hilton getting all gussied up in what our celeb-obsessed cousin, Mollygood, describes as "black-face". That's a fine word for it, but we think there may be another word or, possibly, phrase. Again, we're dumbfounded, so maybe one of you lot can give us a hand?

(PS: This episode of The Simple Life, during which Hilton and cohort Nicole Richie reenacted their life-long friendship, received so much flack, some claim it helped E!'s decision to ax the show.)

Spank Rock really hits the - er - mark with "Baby Rat" and its timeless lyrics:

Why you showing them coochie lips
Getting up out your car
Paparazzi hanging all around you, bitch.
You know you're a super star.

Far more practical advice than this morning's movie message.

And, no, this video definitely isn't safe for those of you who work in more conservative environments. Luckily, we work with a bunch of perverted sickos who agree with Spank Rock: vaginae look like baby rats.

• Scientologist John Travolta had a few words for gays protesting his cross-dressing, John Waters-endorsed appearance in Hairspray.

There is nothing gay in this movie. I'm not playing a gay man. Scientology is not homophobic in any way, in fact it's one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone's accepted.

As long as they assimilate to pre-determined Scientological "lifestyles" and sacrifice their rational thought, brain and soul.

• Gay for pay porn star Marc Dalton continues to make his parents proud: a domestic dispute violated his probation and landed him back in jail. And he'll probably be there for the foreseeable future.

• Did Kate Moss leave Pete Doherty because he cheated? If his junk problem didn't come between them, we're sure they can reconcile a moment of sluttiness..

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• We saw a line of people waiting for the iPhone. They were all playing with their soon-to-be old phones. We think they're insane, as is the rest of the country.

• Talk about a tabloid wet dream: Francesca Hilton, daugher of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Paris Hilton's late grandfather, Conrad, called Zsa Zsa's current (ninth) husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a faggot. von Anhalt's claim to fame, besides being married to Gabor, would be his claim that he fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby. The icing - it went down outside a court house. And TMZ got it on video. Tune in for a special peek into Paris' future. (Cue splooge.)

• Mitt Romney's a cat person:

Romney placed his family dog, an Irish setter named Seamus, into a kennel leashed to the top of his station wagon for a 12-hour family trip from Boston to Ontario in 1983. Despite being shielded by a wind screen the former Massachusetts governor erected, Seamus expressed his discomfort with a diarrhea attack.

Romney claims the dog loved riding on the roof in a swirl of liquified shit: "He scrambled up there every time we went on trips." Scrambled? More like slid.

• London Pride ain't afraid of no car bombs. The parade marches on tomorrow. With a mock Eurovision to protest anti-gay nations.

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• Isaiah Washington really can't stop talking about being fired from Grey's Anatomy. Why? Because you're all racist:

I apologized and showed my remorse for what I said and for the pain I caused anyone. If a black man can’t get forgiveness in this country, when so many other people like Robert Downey Jr. and the governor of California get second and third chances … I think that says a lot about race and this country where we stand.

Washington also says that he didn't go to"homophobia rehab":

There is no rehab for homophobia—that was just some crap being put out by the network. I went into an executive counseling program which many people in this industry know about and go to. They knew what the program was but chose to call it what they wanted to fit their agenda. And more importantly, I volunteered for it because I wanted to understand my fight with Patrick and how it got out of hand like that. I wanted to know what I could do to avoid it happening again.

What a saint. And a studio's liability.

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Madame Tussauds Wax Museum opened its not-at-all-anticipated VIP room last night. Naturally they needed some show stoppers to help them out, so the famed wax museum unveiled its eerily inanimate Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera figures.

Tussauds' staff always impresses us with their some-what life like, fairly authentic look recreations. Unfortunately, they lost us with this Madonna. Either they made it about twenty-five years ago or they took it upon themselves to give Madge a little lift. They did, however, manage to capture that post-op pop allure.

The self-promoting "party" also featured Usher, Paris Hilton and some nice looking girls who lost their way to Hollywood and are thus forced to dance, socialize and schmooze with replicas of actual famous people, rather than the people themselves. Our hearts go out to you girls…

Paris Hilton wasn't the only big draw last night on CNN.

Paula Zahn and her lisp spent an hour exploring the ins and outs of homosexuality on last night's Paula Zahn Now. Like any good journo, Zahn took some time to explore that old nature v. nurture debate, changing opinion on the gays and scientific and moralistic missions to "cure" those who are bit bent.

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Paris Hilton's out of prison. Could it be Ben Widdicombe's outing one of her former flame?

Which recent handsome escort of an errant heiress was just a gay friend called in to make her super-rich ex jealous?

We stopped counting Hilton's men ages ago. Any suggestions? Or, could it be there's another errant heiress?

• Thanks to NewNowNext for passing along Amy Winehouse's video for "Tears Dry On Their Own".

• HIV testing outside of health care environments actually work.

• The Christian right's all about Wal-Mart and their fall from the gay graces.

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Oh, Paris! You're such a scamp. Look at that adorable, "Who, me?" pose you've polished while in prison!! Priceless!

Good to know you kept yourself occupied all those three weeks. We were getting a little worried you're brain would explode with inactivity. You're so cute, we almost forgot that we've seen you getting fucked - and, of course, that we think you're a total cooze.

So, what are you going to do now that you're an ex-con? What's that? You're going to keep on doing nothing with your life except for posing adorably? Super!

(PS: As of right now, there are 610 international news stories about Hilton's release. Just a little factoid to make us all feel a little less significant. Whee!)

• Dick Jefferson, one of the two CBS employees beaten last year in St. Martin's, alleges CBS fired him for speaking out about the attacks."I thought I was doing the right thing, but CBS made me feel like I was doing something wrong," he says. Now he's filed a $50 million sexual orientation discrimination lawsuit against the network.

• Irish politico Ian Paisley will not apologize for referring to gays as "repulsive". We refuse to apologize for calling him a dickhead.

• Everyone's talking about how Elizabeth Edwards will be appearing at San Francisco pride. Big fucking deal. We'd be more impressed if her husband, Presidential candidate John Edwards, were to show.

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Ellen DeGeneres again proved she's the awards show darling. The lesbian jokester took home Daytime Emmy Awards for best talk show and best host, the fourth consecutive year she's earned the honor.

Humble and gracious as always, DeGeneres thanked the crowd for the support, but insisted former The View co-host Rosie O'Donnell deserved a statue, instead:

I liked what she did. This was the year she should have won. I wanted to acknowledge Rosie because she has done a lot. … I don't know who should replace her but I don't think it should be Paris Hilton. That would not work

Some would chalk DeGeneres' kind words up to a queer camaraderie, but The Price Is Right's former host Bob Barker also spent some time praising Rosie.

Speaking after DeGeneres presented him with the award for best game show from DeGeneres, Barker said he supports The Price's producers probing Rosie as replacement…

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Comic nerds and gossip hounds unite! Ben Widdicombe reports that Marvel Comic's legendary Spider Man and X-Men creator Stan Lee's set to develop an MTV-backed animated Paris Hilton series.

Lee's not the only big name joining the project - Paris' ex-boyfriend Paris Latsis has also signed on. Of the Greek shipping heir's involvement, "He's not doing much, but she wanted him involved." That Paris sure is generous with her fame.