Barack “Ignorant Motherfuckers” Obama narrating his own tome isn’t the only audiobook fun you can have. Take Zachary Quinto doing the voice over for Star Trek‘s audiobook. With some creative splicing, it turns into one very hot piece of erotica called “Spork.” Please, guys, make sure you’re in a place where your lap is hidden from public view when you give this thing a listen. (UPDATED: Working audio.)
The language is NSFW, as you can read from the transcript (via ONTD):
Spock moved toward the command chair. Kirk thrust out a hand to restrain the reaching fingers. âWhat are you doing?â As he met the Vulcanâs gaze, one of the science officerâs eyebrows rose prominently. He had chosen to cross a very dangerous line. âI thought youâd respond positively to such an offer,â Spock explained calmly. Kirk goggled up at him, unsure how to react. Spock moved closer and placed his fingers against Kirkâs face. Kirk was stunned.
Working his way downward, his fingers appraised, knowingly, precisely. Spock knelt and placed his hands on his chest, driven to his knees by an overwhelming desire. His examining fingers had traveled as far as his thighs. After a long moment he looked up at Kirk. âI am always open to suggestions,â Spock declared. Erect in the command chair, Kirk was not surprised to find that he was enjoying himself. âSuck me,â Kirk opined plaintively.
Spock certainly did not require additional explication. Tilting his head, he began sucking on his cock. His mouth moved, sliding repeatedly along the length of his instrumentation. Kirk let himself slide a little lower in the chair. Unexpectedly, Spock was groaning. His tongue encircled the pressure-sensitive surface. Kirkâs fingers tightened on the arms of the command chair. âOh god.â
Eyes wild, head lolling, Kirk unloaded a massive burst. âYes. YES.â
His lower lip swollen, Spock looked up at him. It was difficult to tell, but it was possible that he was pleased.
Spock wasnât finished. Abruptly he stood up. âGngngfnferrrrnrrfgggg!â Kirk was more than slightly confused. âWhat?â Spock was forced to swallow. âOut of the chair,â he commanded. That was all Kirk needed. Abruptly he stood up straight, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. Spock stared back at him, hard and frustrated beyond measure. Reaching out, he wrapped his fingers around Kirkâs upper right arm. âI need,â the Vulcan confessed.
Kirk nodded. Bending over, he readied himself. Spock tore into him. Pressure. Heat. Kirkâs eyes fluttered and started to roll back into his head. âYes, yes!â The Vulcan pounded him relentlessly. Kirkâs moaning increased exponentially as Spock slid in and out of his ass. Spock gasped, head thrown back and eyes half closed. The torrent of tightly contained tornadic plasma that roared forth nearly sent him toppling backward.
Breathing hard but evenly, Kirk settled back down in the command chair. Spock sat beside him. They locked eyes. It had all happened so fast. Kirk put both arms around him, and they kissed. Kirk finally asked the question that could not be avoided. âWhat is happening here?â âI love you,â Spock replied softly.
romeo
Saw this movie. Totally missed this scene. LOL
Cam
Video no longer available…. So i’ll go ahead and post this clip from the online Star Trek Series “Phase Two” This is a scene with Kirk’s Nephew…. Peter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYPAivdv8Ds
Cam
And of course….this oldie but goodie Video on “What if, when Spock went into his mating freak out….they hadn’t made it back to Vulcan in time. LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY
rf
Howard Stern’s splicing of audio books is much, much, much better!
B Damion
That scene should have been in the trailer…at the very least. I didn’t see this in the movie
christopher di spirito
Chris Pine! Yummy.
Rikard
Works for me.
Sarah
You can see the video re-uploaded here:
http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_startrek/1043908.html
Viking
Kirk “opined plaintively”?
Just because it’s porn doesn’t mean it has to be sub-literate.
fuzzypony
How is Kirk/Spock new? Where have you been for the past 40 years?
UWSguy
someone has too much time on his hands
PootieTang
so did QUINTO COME OUT?
FunWithGrindr
This is damn funny. Love Zachary’s voice anyway — set it to narrate porn hilarity and it’s even better! đ
LOLSIES
ahahahahaha YES đ Trust me, as if I wasn’t obsessed with the film enough already, shove this scene in their and I’d be high on happiness ! Pinto/Spirk NOM <3
LOLSIES
ahahahahaha YES đ Trust me, as if I wasn’t obsessed with the film enough already, shove this scene in there and I’d be high on happiness ! Pinto/Spirk NOM <3
rach
OMG, I cannot describe my feelings right now. Such a genius, thank you for uploading this.=?