Shirtless man on bed using computer

If you ever log onto Grindr, SCRUFF, or one of the dozens of other knock-offs only to feel like you’re lost in a sea of newfangled and, at times, completely nonsensical acronyms and internet slang, you’re not alone. What does HMU mean?

These days, people are all about efficiency. We used to write letters. Then we switched to email, which became texts. And now we speak in the gibberish of ABS (abbreviations). They’re quicker. And in the land of hookups, time is of the essence.

So WAFA (without any further ado), scroll down for 20 modern abbreviations to help you decipher WTF (what the f*&%) guys are typing – as well as what they’re really saying – in their messages.

1. BRB

What it means: Be right back.

What it really means: Goodbye forever.

2. HMU

What it means: Hit me up.

What it really means: You’re hot. (Not it doesn’t mean Hold my Unicorn)

via GIPHY

3. LOL

What it means: Laugh out loud.

What it really means: This is an awkward text, so I’m going to pretend it’s funny and ditch you.

4. LMK

What it means: Let me know.

What it really means: Yeah right, you’re not gonna let me know.

5. ILYK

What it means: I’ll let you know.

What it really means: This is the last we’ll ever speak of this. This is the last we’ll ever speak forever.

via GIPHY

6. ASLP

What it means: Age, sex, location, picture.

What it really means: Age, sex, location, picture.

7. MYOB

What it means: Mind your own business.

What it really means: I’m grouchy and can’t deal right now.

8. NBD

What it means: No big deal.

What it really means: It’s a fucking huge deal!

9. HU

What it means: Hurry up.

What it really means: I’m horny.

via GIPHY

10. ITAI

What it means: I’ll think about it.

What it really means: No chance in hell.

11. SG

What it means: Sounds good.

What it really means: You meet all my criteria. Let’s hookup.

via GIPHY

12. A3

What it means: Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

What it really means: Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

13. ASAP

What it means: As soon as possible.

What it really means: If you don’t get over here immediately, I’m going with plan B.

via GIPHY

14. J4T

What it means: Just for today.

What it really means: Seriously, this is a one-time thing unless you are really hot.

15. NMHJC

What it means: Not much here, just chilling.

What it really means: I’m bored, alone and horny.

16. ZZZ

What it means: Sleeping, bored, tired.

What it really means: Your face pic doesn’t excite me.

17. REHI

What it means: Hi, again.

What it really means: You abruptly disappeared earlier. Where did you go? Please talk to me.

via GIPHY

18. YOYO

What it means: You’re on your own.

What it really means: I’m really sorry but this just isn’t happening.

via GIPHY

19. BF!*

What it means: Bye, Felicia!

What it really means: Fuck off.

*not to be confused with “BF” (no exclamation point) which stands for “boyfriend”

20. AMF

What it means: Adios motherfucker.

What it really means: Adios motherfucker.

via GIPHY

Know any other hookup abbreviations? Help us keep up to date in the comments section below. While you’re at it, subscribe to the Queerty newsletter to keep in touch every day, not J4T.

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