MIXED METAPHORS

Allen West: “Being Gay = Liking Ice Cream.” We’ll Take Two Scoops!

We scored pretty well on the SATS but we cannot for the life of us figure out the bizarre analogies right-wing politicians have been throwing around lately regarding the gays. First there was Rick “Google problem” Santorum and his “gay marriage is like a paper towel” metaphor. Now Douche of the Week Allen West is saying homosexuality is akin to liking chocolate-chip ice cream. According to ABC 25 in West Palm Beach:

When asked whether people should change their behavior and not be gay, West replied, “No. I like chocolate chip ice cream, and I will continue to like chocolate chip ice cream. So there’s no worry about me changing to vanilla. I like to, you know, ride my motorcycle. What do you want me to do? You want me to change my behavior and ride a scooter? I’m not into that.”

Darn, why didn’t he tell us if he likes long walks on the beach and finishing the Sunday crossword puzzle in ink? Oh, sorry—we got distracted.

Anyway, what is West, a notorious homophobe, saying here? That gays and lesbians actually can’t change their sexuality? Or is he being sarcastic—picking things like ice-cream flavors that are just preferences and not orientations. And what about our lactose-intolerant and vegan queers? Are they just left on the side of the road, forced to thumb a ride on some scooter?

Words hurt, Mr. West. They really do.

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11 Comments

  • Henry

    This dude’s comparing lame old vaginal sex with women to imagination-is-the-limit gay sex. He actually called it going from a motorcycle to a scooter.

  • christopher di spirito

    Allen West is one of those African American conservatives who looks like a Caucasian in black face. Michael Steele too. These cats are very strange and the media just love them.

  • chris bravo

    sorry but i think the analogy is fine. i guess i didn’t get the memo that the term “sexual preference” is now politically incorrect.

  • Erik

    Read between the lines… I think West is really saying he doesn’t like white people!

  • Clamydia Jones

    Dats sum bull shit, all upin duh hood ! Suppin tellz me summpin aint rights wit dis down low daddy.

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    ‘Scuse me but I think he somehow kinda sorta defended us there……..He did say “No” and while his metaphors kinda sorta melted together there, he is choclate chip and won’t change to another flavor…….So good news! We don’t have to change from our fabulous rainbow flavors!!!!

    @christopher di spirito: 100% co-sign. The only reason Michael Steele got his GOP post was so the repugnaticans could proclaim after Obama’s victory is “hey look here, we like Black guys too!”

  • pamela brown

    i think west was just saying that to each their own. don’t think it’s fair to criticize him for this . if anything it shows some tolerance.

  • Shannon1981

    Can we have him be douche of the week two weeks in a row? Or at least runner up? His ignorance knows no bounds…

  • timncguy

    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: The problem here is that Queerty didn’t bother to quote the rest of what West said.

    He went on to explain that although he didn’t believe gays could change the “flavor” they liked, he thought the appropriate answer was for gays to be celibate since the “behavior” of gay sex is wrong. Being gay isn’t wrong and having same-sex attractions isn’t wrong. But, ACTING ON THOSE ATTRACTIONS is wrong and should not be condoned.

    So, Mr West gets to eat all the ice cream in the flavor he likes, but teh gays don’t get to eat the ice cream flavor that they are attracted to.

  • Queer Supremacist

    I support Allen West’s right to marry any black man of his choice.

    @Henry: Analogies are the product of a lazy mind.

    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: At least they chose someone who was actually black. Too bad he also happened to be a blithering idiot as well as a racist. His comment that “white gay men have enough rights already”.

Comments are closed.