Banning Gay Marriage is a Step in Fighting … Obesity


Maybe Rhode Island didn’t want to join the rest of New England in legalizing same-sex marriage because residents there are more health conscious than any of their uppity neighbors? Haha, of course that’s not the case — R.I. is just more homophobic!

But should they have given gays the right to one day get divorced, they would’ve introduced homos to the health hazards of marriage. A new study published in Obesity (yes, really) reveals married couples are more likely to become obese within just a few years of their marriage. But what about if you just move in together without the vows? You’re still out of luck: “The study notes that unmarried women who have been living with their sweeties for five years or less run a 63% increased risk of obesity. What about unmarried men? On average, they have no increased risk during cohabitation.” The research backs up a previous study that puts the poundage gained at 6-9 pounds.

What’s to blame? Weight loss regimens to lose pounds before the wedding go to the wayside. Hitting the gym becomes a lesser priority. Gathering around mealtimes is a new focus. And, of course, those vigorous workouts in the bedroom go on the wane after the honeymoon.

The good news? Two gay men are still free to move in with each other with little fear of gaining weight. Just don’t exchange rings.