slam dunk

Basketball coach Kevin DeMille is pumped for March Madness & ready to go dancing!

Kevin DeMille is ready to go dancing! And the best part is, he’ll be coaching in the NCAA women’s basketball tournament as his true self.

With March Madness beginning Wednesday, college basketball teams across the country are preparing for their big showcase. That applies to the Vanderbilt women, who qualified for the NCAA tourney for the first time in a decade. The Commodores will take on Columbia tonight in a First Four game at 9:00 p.m. ET.

DeMille, per usual, will be courtside. The longtime assistant has been coaching in the women’s game for more than 10 years, including stops at powerhouses such as UConn and George Washington. Overall, this is his ninth trip to the NCAAs.

The journey is sweet every single time,

“Three years of work, that’s called a journey; only had one goal: to get back to the tourney; knew we had it in us & just needed the chance; first time in a decade, the #dores are in the dance,” he posted on Instagram.

That’s not a bad little rhyme, if we say so ourselves! We’re also digging the shades…

In a Pride Month essay, DeMille says he came out as gay when he was 19 years old. Now in his early 30s, he recognizes his personal journey wasn’t linear. It was filled with fits and starts, just like a basketball game.

“Coming out can be a momentous event in a person’s life—a pivotal moment of clarity and vulnerability, of freedom and authenticity. Mine was more of a slow burn, a gradual build toward truth and a painful journey to get there,” he wrote.

“It was a lot like a 40-minute basketball game—full of exciting runs, scoring droughts, much-needed time-outs, questionable calls, great execution and the constant support of great teammates,” he added.

DeMille’s turning point came during his senior year of college. A team manager for the UConn women’s team, he became close with many of the players, including Stefanie Dolson, who plays center for the WNBA’s Washington Mystics. At the time, Dolson was figuring out her orientation, and demanded authenticity from those around her.

For DeMille, that meant being openly gay. He credits the women’s game for fostering an inclusive environment, where he felt comfortable being himself.

“Women’s basketball is more communal than the men’s game at the college level, and certainly more accepting and more open, but it’s pioneered by the athletes,” he said in an interview.

“That was always the hesitation for me. The players are the ones who drive all of this, and asking if there’s space for me in the women’s game. I just was fortunate to be around all of the right people, who made me realize it was OK to be who I was.”

A basketball lifer, DeMille’s mother was an elite coach at the high school level. When he arrived on campus at UConn, perhaps the most successful women’s program ever, he knew he wanted to be involved.

One of his most trusted confidants is Vanderbilt head coach Shea Ralph, with whom he worked at Connecticut. DeVille says Ralph didn’t just want him to be part of her staff.

She wanted him to shine as an out gay man.

“When she approached me about working with her at Vanderbilt, she wasted no time in expressing her desire to build a diverse and inclusive staff at the nation’s premier institution,” he wrote. “My orientation was not something for me to hide when I got to Vanderbilt, it was something she expressly wanted me to live out fully.”

With Vanderbilt located in Nashville, DeMille believes his identity takes on added importance. As he cites in his essay, LGBTQ+ youth in the South are four times more likely than their heterosexual peers to try and take their lives before turning 18.

Blessed with a strong support system, DeMille says he feels it’s his duty to live freely.

“We deserve to celebrate our identities and what makes us us. We also deserve to feel like our love, our relationships, our families and our lives are equal,” he said. “It takes a lot of courage, confidence and support to come out, and too few of us get to do that safely. Therefore, those of us who can do it safely have a responsibility to make it safer for others.”

A perusal of DeMille’s social media pages shows he’s quite open about his sexuality, a rarity for male coaches in any sport. Though there are a plethora of out female players and coaches in the women’s game, the men are far behind.

Curt Miller, who coaches the Connecticut Sun, is the only out head coach in pro basketball, men or women. The only out coach in men’s college basketball is Matt Lynch, who’s just led his junior college team to a conference title.

As a No. 12 seed, the Commodores aren’t favorites this year. But they will be on national TV, allowing DeMille to present himself to the entire country.

Once fearful of being tagged as the “gay coach,” DeMille is proud to show his full identity.

“Being gay is such a big part of who I am, but like all people, my identity is more complex than that,” he said. “I am a pretty good coach, according to my colleagues and our student-athletes. I’m confident in my basketball ability. But I’m also confident in who I am, and being the truest version of myself only enhances my ability to do the job that coach Ralph hired me to do. “

So far, DeMille’s hire has been a slam dunk. The Vanderbilt women are on the rise, and he’s proud to play a part in their success.

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