In a segment on Friday night’s episode of Real Time, Bill Maher took a swing at Senator Lindsey Graham’s “hypocrisy on steroids.” But rather than focus on actual things the South Carolina Republican has done to undermine our country’s democracy, Maher decided to share a list of passé stereotypes about gay people in his efforts to attack him… since being gay is hilarious and should be used to belittle people we don’t like.
Reading a selection from a list titled “24 Things You Don’t Know About Lindsey Graham,” Maher rattled off several gay tropes that might’ve been funny (to straight people) in the ’90s or early ’00s, but that today are just stupid and not very helpful.
Here’s the full list:
- My name is Lindsey and my pronouns are He and Y’all.
- My spirit animal is a jellyfish.
- I burn calories by skipping to work.
- I’m the only Senator whose office has a bidet and a fainting couch.
- For three weeks in 1992 I was married to Liza Minnelli.
- In a fire, the first things I’d save are my bridal magazines.
- When I was in school, the kids would tease me by calling me “Lindsey.”
- I was the first person to push a dog around in a stroller.
- The greatest advice my mother gave me was to stop waving my hands when I run.
- My quote in the high school yearbook was “a lady is allowed to changed her mind.”
- My greatest legislative accomplishment is naming a post office after Nathan Lane.
- If Trump and I were a celebrity couple, I’d want the tabloids to call us “Donsey.”
- I once kissed Trump’s ass so hard I could taste Hannity.
- John McCain’s last words to me were “Let go of my hand.”
- People who say I’m anti-immigrant haven’t heard me talk about Siegfried and Roy.
- When people call me a “hawk” I just want to bomb the sh*t out of them.
- My favorite James Bond movie is Octo-yucky.
- I’m one of only three people in Washington allowed to trim President Trump’s nose hairs.
- I employ over a dozen pool boys even though I don’t own a pool.
- Irony alert! Thanks to a food allergy, I avoid fruit.
- For Halloween, I went as the Lindsey Graham from the Clinton impeachment.
- If you saw just five seconds of the videotape Trump has of me, everything would suddenly make sense.
- My nickname in the Air Force was “JAG-off.”
- If it was socially acceptable, I would wear nothing but scarves.
Of course, Maher isn’t the first celebrity to shame Graham about his rumored sexuality. (For the record, Graham has repeatedly denied being gay.)
Comedian Chelsea Handler has cracked many homophobic jokes about Graham being gay, being a bottom, and having a “d*ck-sucking video.”
And most recently, Broadway legend Patti LuPone took to Twitter to further peddle the gay rumors by calling Graham a “disgrace” and urging him to “just bite the bullet and come out.”
Now, we totally get it. Lindsey Graham is trash and certainly no ally to the LGBTQ community. Not only did he oppose the repeal of DADT and gay-inclusive immigration reform, but he was also against gay marriage, calling it a road to polygamy.
But surely there are better ways to criticize him that don’t involve cracking homophobic jokes at his expense?