Season 2 of the web series I’m Fine premiered on Dekkoo this week and it tackles a subject that continues to be a very real problem in the gay community: anti-Asian racism.
The online comedy follows a diverse group of gay men as they navigate their way through life, love, and Los Angeles. The show is created, written and directed by Brandon Kirby.
Related: Least Desirable? Gay Asian men talk sexual racism and the impact it has on everyone
One of the characters is Jeff, played by Asian-America actor Lee Doud. In the Season 2 premiere, Jeff goes on a date with a Caucasian guy who can’t seem to get over the fact that he doesn’t “look” Asian.
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“Brandon and I got to talking about where Jeff’s story was heading,” Doud explains. “I told him I really wanted to address Jeff’s/my race.”
“I’m half Chinese and half Caucasian, and not only are Asian-Americans wildly underrepresented in film and TV but I also believe Asian-American men are desexualized in media.”
Related: Here’s what happens when an Asian man and white man switch Grindr profiles for 24 hours
Doud continues, “The date itself is more of an amalgamation of some experiences I’ve had as someone of mixed race, either being mistaken for another ethnicity or just not being ‘enough’ of one or the other to fit a stereotype or preconceived notion.”
Watch the uncomfortable and all-too-real scene below.
Want more? See the full episode HERE.
Nowuvedoneit
As a non Caucasian gay it’s nice to see some different shades. Although you’ll never make anyone sleep with you if they aren’t interested in you to begin with. I say let the racists be racists and the only thing you can do is point it out.
Kangol
Glad to see a show is tackling this. OTOH, it would be nice to read articles on Queerty about Asian American gay people and other POCs that aren’t wrapped around racist white men. Good to call out racism, but not good to ignore all the other things gay people who aren’t white are doing.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Why are you lazily assuming it’s only Caucasians that have this attitude to Asian guys and this is only addressing them?
SiamSam
@Prince Because only whites can be racist. You need to get woke and educate yourself.
Brian
I think Kangol is saying that it would be nice to see articles on gay Asians that aren’t just about their being victims of racism. It’s basically just another type of fetishization.
CastleSF
These days people can’t even compliment your race because they are attracted to you? That Asian guy in the film has anger issues and tries to control what the other people can or can’t say about his ethnic background. People get offended so easily and not for good reasons.
Heywood Jablowme
I was ready to agree with you, but after seeing the video I think the white guy is seriously f*cked up!
Certain racial comments MIGHT be okay in a casual hookup setting (if the recipient doesn’t mind), but totally inappropriate in a serious setting where you’re trying to get to know each other better. The white guy doesn’t seem to have any sense of those boundaries. Catch the few seconds at the beginning where the white guy apparently bragged about getting rimmed in a bar bathroom? (Did I hear that right?) Well, uh, whatever one’s opinion of THAT, he seems to forget he’s not in a sleazy situation right now.
And his Adderall is obviously not helping!
DCguy
“Compliment you on your race because they’re attracted to you”??
Warning, Red Flag.
Brody
No matter how much some people try to paint everyone who doesn’t adhere to their ideology as racists, personal sexual preference does not equal racism. The notion is as absurd as saying gay men are misogynists for not sleeping with women.
As Adele Dazeem would say . . . . let it go.
Josh447
Amen.
Nowuvedoneit
Racism is saying, “ oh you’re cute for.., or I have yellow fever, jungle fever, I like my men spicy, etc”. No one is going to force you to have sex with them, we are just tired of the blatant offensive language.
seki
Thank you
Me2
No, but a gay man would be considered a misogynist if he mistreated or disrespected women just because he wasn’t attracted to them.
griffin87
Brody, sweetheart nobody is asking you to f*ck all races to prove a point. Don’t wanna date a black guy? BLOCK. Not interested in Asians? Say no thanks. But if you’re advertising on your profile and it says NO ASIANS— that’s a problem. Why?
If you were interested in only dating negative men, would you put NO HIV +
Personal preference does not equate racism, unless you make it so.
**Brody — you failed to recognize the point of the article where it outlines the impact of ignorant remarks made from an entitled white guy bastardizing an entire race because of his not so thoughtful “compliments”. We are trying to make it more of a positive experience for our emerging lgbt youth. Perhaps you can read the whole article next time and realize it’s not all about you, your sexual preferences, nor your nonsensical notion that is irrelevant to this matter. Time to take that chip off your shoulder.
Brody
griffin87 –
I don’t think you’re trying to “make it more of a positive experience for our emerging lgbt youth” so much as you’re trying to guilt impressionable minds into thinking the same way you do.
DCguy
Awww, how adorable, one of Mo Bros screenames, the same accounts who were defending anti-lgbt abusive conversion therapy is now on here trying to use the word “Ideology” when what they mean is racism.
Yeah, if somebody’s ideology is to not be racist, and you don’t adhere to that….guess what….you’re a racist.
blitzkid84
This. Is. Not. Racism. No matter how badly you want it defined as such. You guys really need to learn what racism is and isn’t. The worst thing that happened to the gay “community” was getting wrapped up in the post-millenium (certainly post-Obama) sjw culture.
Brettly43
Ok. why are people getting so uptight about someone not having an attraction to asian, it doesnt mean they are racist, you can’t help who you are attracted to, what if an asian wasnt attracted to me, should i be upset and say hes racist because i’m white? No, i would accept it and move on, come on, grow up and realize its an attraction, if they wont hang out with you, or anything like that, then thats racism.
Me2
I think the issue goes beyond sexual attraction. It seems to me that many gay Asians feel marginalized, as a whole, within the Gay community. The brutal sexual rejection is just one component of a pattern of being ignored and pushed to the side.
CastleSF
@Me2. I am Asian and I don’t pretend I speak for all Asian gays. However it shouldn’t be considered offensive when a guy reveals that he is not attracted to people like me because of my race. There is nothing offensive about that statement. It is what it is. “He is just not into me”, nothing more, nothing less. People who get offended by it has self-esteem issues.
SiamSam
@CastleSF I think a lack of attraction to many Asian men is based on neotony or the appearance of juvenile features in an adult animal. Many Asian men with their smaller body size and facial features look more like children while most gay men are attracted to men with adult male features and characteristics. I might be presumptuous but I doubt you suffer much rejection yourself because of neotony judging by your profile pic.
chris33133
Relying on almost every single stereotypical phrase that I could think of and ending with “get woke,” this scene struck me as incredibly simplistic. On the other hand, I have recently run into some youngsters who don’t seem to know how to have a civil conversation, so maybe nuance isn’t the way to go on a series intended for today’s audiences.
tnguy222
rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble
Don’t try to force someone to sleep with you by calling them racist. If you think you’re such a catch, isn’t it the offenders loss anyways?
rabble rabble rabble rabble
Nowuvedoneit
We aren’t trying to sleep or force you to sleep with us, especially the white ones posting here. You’re not all you think you are. Just asking for you to not be overtly racist, keep your racism to yourself.
tnguy222
Agreed. Words often can be more hurtful than physical action. The gays can often be more caustic in their use; I imagine because of our trying and sometimes brutal backgrounds.
zxcv
Not just you, but to all- bitchiness, sarcasm are not characteristics to strive for. Just be politely direct with each other, especially when commenting on these boards
rmarin776
Yes, we need to talk about anti-Asian racism in the gay community.
And it’s not just about who you all want to sleep with.
Anti-asian racism extends even into LGBT social service organizations, which – with all their emphasis on diversity – make very little effort to reach out to LGBT asians and asian americans. I’m in NYC where Chinese, for example, is the third most spoken language. However, I get blank stares when I bring up the issue of not including speakers or Asian languages and/or Asian and Asian-American staff when we are searching for “diverse candidates”. They have their own organizations, I’ve been told….
The so-called “model minority”, Asian-Americans have often been told to shut up and fend for themselves through and experience of being “less than” – and I think it’s worse in the LGBT communities than just about anywhere else.
LGBT Asians and Asian-Americans are pretty much invisible – outside of some pockets of SF (which seems to have more space for Asian identities). When you say “some people don’t want to sleep with you, don’t police attraction, get over it”, you really just don’t understand.
Notright
I’m pretty mixed on this. I know for a fact that the Asian community can be pretty anti-black. Why is it okay for them to be anti-black but they don’t like it if we’re not necessarily into Asians. I get Asian guys trying to hit on me all the time and when I politely say I’m not into Asians they get angry.
But when I ask them ‘well how many black guys have you dated?’ they say ‘eeww!’.
okiloki
It’s pretty rude to tell someone who is hitting on you that you’re not interested in their entire race. If you’re not interested in them then just say you’re not interested and leave it at that. Also no one said it’s ok for Asians to have anti black sentiment and it certainly doesn’t justify anti Asian sentiment within the gay community. There is a problem when there is such a strict racial hierarchy inside the gay community that puts young white guys at the top and blacks and Asians at the bottom, and unfortunately many of these minorities probably internalize that racism to feel that it is better to date someone white when it isn’t.
tnguy222
Race has very little to do with attraction; I have dated all the major races. I have also been the “first” for a number of them.
More relevant are physically attractive features, personality, education, sociability, and resources.
Generally, the attractive and smart people are more able to appreciate attractive people of any race, whereas ugly and dumber people can only see attractiveness based on a very narrow viewpoint.
CastleSF
@Notright. Good for you for being upfront with some people who just wouldn’t take a subtle no for an answer. I personally am attracted to dark haired guys, so when I tell a very light haired man I am not attracted to his type, I expect him to respect my preference and not waste any more time on me.
Brian
Castle, if you are really so shallow that a light haired man talking to you is just wasting his time, then Asian or not, your input into this discussion is worthless. You’re just another superficial gay dude who gives us all a bad name. Hair color? Really? Good lord.
Notright
I found a response to this article here
https://thegayexpat.com/thats-racist-asians-crying-white-guys-wont-date/
rmarin776
How it it possible to “politely say” “I’m not into asians”? And why are we slapping anything onto an entire community? If an Asian man is anti-Black, let’s talk about it. But it’s a cop out to say “well the Asian community is anti-Black so I can be anti-Asian”.
richard2179
I call total bullsh*t on all these posts trying to justify racial preferences. You don’t come out of the womb with these preferences. They are created by the bias you experience. You live in a racist society so it is ridiculous to assume such influences don’t color attraction. They do. Every wonder what racial preferences sight impaired people have? Stop being intellectually lazy here!
CastleSF
@Richard, you can lash out against a world that doesn’t conform to your ideology or rant about your narrow-minded definition of racism. It’s just that your arguments on racial preferences and sexual attraction are not that convincing. Try it again and be more reasonable and less angry this time.
richard2179
@CastleSF. You right. Racial preferences are a part of our inbred out the womb identities. Some races are superior to others. Hilter and Trump have it right. My apologies. Not. More intellectually challenged bullsh*t from individuals too lazy to realize you are born with these preferences. Thank you though for your lecture. Why with your insight, racism is disappearing before our very eyes. Wait, I think it’s gone completely now. Sorry I’m wrong again here. That was the last of your Intellect. And yes. I am angry for good reason. Racism, like homophobia causes real damage. Not denying that at all!
griffin87
Yes very true. Castle on the other hand has an axe to grind yet he lacks the insight and intelligence to do so. Just about every post of his has no followers or support, case in point. Castle is as foolish as he looks.
zxcv
@CastleSF you’re such an Uncle Tom. I can’t believe other Asians tolerate you. Race traitor, and from the Bay Area[?]
Jack Meoff
When are they going to realise that nobody cares.
zxcv
When racists like you die off
Jaxton
Oh look – I’m an Asian attention whore. I demand that you find me sexually appealing. How DARE you not find me attractive. I will sue you if you don’t change your mind about.me.
griffin87
Hi I’m Jaxton,
Im just a plain whore that has nothing better to do than troll the forums like nobody’s business. Trust me sweetheart, nobody’s trolling your backside no matter his race.
zxcv
Have you not died yet?
Paco
“From the looks of it, the bottom half of you must be white.”
Wow, they actually went there about the penis size stereotype.
Mmmrrrggglll
Dude, that’s the point. Don’t judge an entire group of people by a stereotype. You are doing yourself a disservice.
Rakkaus
I went to high school with a kid who has half-Irish, half-Chinese, he himself used to joke “Thank God I’m half Irish” when it came to penis size, it was a source of fun & humour not offence.
I was with a guy who was half-Filipino, half-British ancestry and he would say the same thing, joking thank God he was only half-Asian and not the bottom half (he was about average size). When he lived in the Phillippines, he felt like a giant there. Like the old Latin saying “in terra cæcorum monoculus est rex”…in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
When it comes to Asians, the “penis size stereotype” is rooted in reality, every study of global penis size finds that, on average, Asians have the smallest members down there. There may be statistical noise ranking one country to the next by a few decimal points within an inch or so, but of 110+ countries ranked, in study after study, ALL Asian countries ALL consistently rank at the BOTTOM in penis size by statistically significant amounts (2-4+ FULL INCHES SMALLER), well-below average.
Koreans have the smallest average penis size at 3.8 inches, followed by Cambodia 3.9 inches, then India & Thailand 4.0 inches.
Phillippines & Taiwan average 4.2 inches. China & Japan average penis size is 4.29 inches.
Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Vietnam average 4.4 inches.
Generally racial stereotypes about penis size are not actually rooted in reality, e.g. black sub-Saharan Africans being grouped all together as a continent & collective ‘race’ having especially large ‘BBC’ is a baseless stereotype- there is more variance by ethnicity from country-to-country.
Congo is on average the largest with average 7.06 inch. But Nigeria average penis size is 6.0 inch, while Ethiopia average penis size is 5.3 inch.
Meanwhile Colombia average is 6.7 inch, Lebanon 6.6, Iceland 6.5.
Because the global Asian population is so large, there are so many Asians to actually bring the overall global penis size average down to 5.5 inches (abt 14cm), with Asians on the ‘bottom half’ of the global mean down around 4 inches (some countries barely hitting 10cm).
For the most part, African, Latin American, European, Mediterranean countries all tend to be within range of each other around the global average. As you move toward/into Asia, average penis size shrinks dramatically. While Lebanon 6.6 & Egypt 6.2 move east, Iraq & Iran 5.7, south is Saudi Arabia 5.4, further east Afghanistan 5.4 before hitting Pakistan 4.8, then hit real south/east Asia where 4 inch range is the norm. There is statistically significant evidence that Asians on average have statistically significantly smaller penises. It’s not just a baseless made-up stereotype.
zxcv
@Rakkaus “It’s not just a baseless made-up stereotype…” just like you’re not a baseless made up racist with an agenda. Why did Queerty get rid of their flag button? Some of these posts need to be flagged
Daniel-Reader
Now the real question is this: Most humans – gay, bi, or straight – are of Asian descent. Most are not caucasian – only 1.5 billion caucasians on a world of 7.2 billion humans. More Asians exist in two countries – China and India – than all caucasians combined on the entire planet. The average human is not white. So stop picking on a racial minority otherwise the hypocrisy is just overwhelming, and stop projecting one’s own angst and problems onto them. It’s creepy, so why do it? It’s even creepier when Asian guys don’t want to sleep with Asian guys and instead stalk white guys, and then complain white guys don’t want to sleep with Asian guys?
Creamsicle
So much white fragility on display in these comments. If you’re that easily upset by this clip you might need to reevaluate your attitudes and consider if they’re coming from an inclusive place, because the way the ignorant guy on the left was talking was not complimentary at all. If someone was on a date and said, “You’re not really my type, but let’s do this anyway,” you would be offended.
I once dated a guy who told me I wasn’t a “real asian.” I’m ethnically Indonesian and Japanese. He also had other weird racial hang ups, and his comment was just one example of how he had unresolved issues around race. He seemed to think I should want to be white. I don’t even know what that means or how I would even begin to do that. I’m probably lumping this fictional idiot with my insane ex, but there are plenty of men put there who never question where their beauty standards come from, and it’s ridiculous.
Gay culture used to be about culture. We used to be the men and women who were unafraid of being perceived as efete for enjoying opera, or art. Gay men used to enjoy music, theater, art, travel, and history. Now we’re left with the few seedy bars that can still eke out a profit, hookup apps, and porn categories. There is no more community for young gay men, just a bunch of headless torsos gridded out on a smartphone app. No wonder we can’t relate to each other as people any more.
SiamSam
“White fragility?” What kind of person says this….except for a racist?
rmarin776
Too true.
rmarin776
My too true was in response to Creamsicle.
sydboy007
I’ve seem far not over racism when traveling in Asia than when I’m in a white dominant country. In South East Asia it’s still perfectly acceptable to advertise a job with age and sex requirements. Language preferences are accepted as code for racial bias for who will be hired.
In the gay scene I’ve found Asian guys who are not sexually attracted to non Asians to be more often than not quite rude.
Coming from Australia I was quite shocked when in NYC the number of grindr profiles for black guys that had ONLY BLACKS in them.
Racism and bigotry are not white only traits.
Kangol
@sydboy007 wrote: “Coming from Australia I was quite shocked when in NYC the number of grindr profiles for black guys that had ONLY BLACKS in them.”
Are you totally without irony? You can’t see why people who are subjected to centuries of brutality and oppression might want to avoid their oppressors? Did you forget that white Australians enslaved (!), slaughtered, displaced, stole the land and children of, and have discriminated harshly `against Australia’s BLACK people, its Aboriginals? GTFOH with this unironic nonsense!
Notright
Why is not being attracted to someone a form of bigotry?
zxcv
I don’t get you. Your country is renowned for being racist towards Aussies without a northern European background
Rakkaus
What a stupid video, fake & staged/exaggerated for dramatic effect, but still nothing offensive was said- the reference to Adderall at the end (getting a dig at mental illness?) was the most offensive part. Do people out there really live in these ultra-PC bubbles that I dismiss as strawmen when mocked by conservatives? Everyone is a “type”, that’s just the way it is. Everyone is attracted to certain “types” & NOT attracted to other “types”. For example gay men are not attracted to female types. Can’t help the way one is born & presents oneself. A petite smooth skinny white boy is branded a submissive “twink” type, should I get offensive at “typism” for being branded that type? Some are attracted to me while others are not because of my “type”, and I’m treated a certain way because of my “type”- treated differently than if I was a big hairy “bear” based just on appearance/presentation. Everyone gets judged based on their type, race/ethnicity is just one factor (and not necessarily the deciding factor, a big tall hairy manly Asian man say Yao Ming is not going to be treated the same as a more ‘stereotypical’ short small Asian, Asians just happen to more often more on the smaller/less “bearly” side).
zxcv
Crawl back into your cave
willcutabitch
Dear Asian men, STOP DATING WHITEY. There, fixed it for you. You’re welcome
zxcv
Most hate Whites, so there’s no need for the bitchy reply
maurice_tisdale
I truly like (actually LOVE) men of all colors, shades, and shapes. I can’t lie because when I go on a dating site or even CL (Craigslist) and there are “criteria” for someone’s preference and it seems that everything I am, they aren’t looking for it does suck. The even worst part is when I read what kind of guy they are looking to meet, 90% of the time I am. Of course, I’m not the right size, right color or right age all at the same time but funny, interesting, energetic, and of course out-going I am.
I do move on but it can be a bit jarring to see because this might be the guy I was waiting for or I could be the guy that the author/potential date has been dying to meet.
I would have a few ‘photo-less’ profiles at times and sometimes when I was online a few guys that I wanted to meet, I would chat with and our chats would go great until the ‘attributes’ (wink, wink, wink) were now being asked.
How can I have this wonderful conversation with someone and then it goes ‘left’ or ‘right’ when wanting to know about what I look like is now being asked.
There was this show where you were asked to date in the complete dark and it made so much sense to me at least on the first meeting. Most guys on dating sites look intimidating and sometimes for a good reason and other times because you know the picture they posted is about a zillion years old, yet you’re still intrigued and want to see what could be.
I used to be hung up on height because I’m 6’1″ and that was a closer for me. Guys that were taller didn’t seem too interested in me and I seemed like I was settling when there was someone who actually liked me but was shorter. It was truly my preference and I never went out of my way to make anyone feel bad, not that I haven’t but for this little but big ordeal (at least, to and for me), I didn’t. Now a good friend said to me after I was complaining about not finding someone taller to be with: “Someone has to be shorter!” It changed my outlook all together but this entire conversation/post seem very necessary and foolish all at the same time because “AllGuysRHot#”
BOB K
ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE:
1. When I was in my fifties I look pretty good more or less like a tall blue-eyed doctor or lawyer. If I went in Nikki’s which was near my house I couldn’t stand still for a minute without an Asian, usually a Filipino coming up to me and fawning and touching on me, usually saying the ridiculous phrase “do you like Asians?”. I always wanted to answer “why don’t you just ask me whether I like YOU?” They didn’t know who I was they just saw a big white guy with blue eyes, which is not flattering it seems like another form of racism.
2.. I AM SICK OF RACISM BEING POINTED OUT AS A GAY PROBLEM AND SICK OF GAY WEBSITES DOING SO.
You almost never see a straight woman with an Asian man because the attraction tends to not be there.
I personally like Asians rarely but I would never pick any group and say I don’t like them at all because people are different, and I’ve certainly been with every group in the past.
I don’t want to give the reason I typically don’t like Asians often because it might hurt somebody’s feelings to read it
I HOPE THIS MAY HELP
CAN WE SPEND SOME TIME TALKING ABOUT THE REAL ENEMIES TO THE COMMUNITY AND NOT KNOCKING EACH OTHER?
BOB K
Sorry I’m doing this on the phone and they autocorrect made me look a bit illiterate
The place where I was hassled was Mickey’s Not Nikki’s
zxcv
“You almost never see a straight woman with an Asian man because the attraction tends to not be there…” Straight Asian women marry straight Asian men. But you are correct IF you meant to say your people tend to be racist, that’s how they’re wired. Also, being from West Hollywood (Micky’s), Los Angeles in general doesn’t help [most all there truly suck]
jd.cali
There are two different issues.
Being racist or discriminatory against a race in this case, Asians.
And second, sexual attraction.
The first is not acceptable.. Period.
The second – is individual and can’t be dictated or encouraged. You like what you like. Why you like what you like is complex and the same around the world for all people and it is individual.
Just be decent and be kind to all. You don’t have to find anyone attractive or explain yourself. Just say no thank you.