Yesterday New York City Mayor Bloomberg made an 18-minute speech about marriage equality. It was historically moving and what not, but we were busy and some of you probably were too. So here’s our short-short version so you don’t sound like an uninterested dumbass around your friends. Also we’ve added super-short subheadings that paraphrase Bloomy’s finer points and help you go even faster. Or if you’re ultra lazy, just look at the word cloud we made from the speech above and repeat words at random to your pals—so lazy.
His overall point: “In our democracy, near equality is no equality. Government either treats everyone the same, or it doesn’t. And right now, it doesn’t.” Word up, Blooms.