girl's gotta eat

George Santos goes down in the messiest way possible, & of course OnlyFans is involved

George Santos standing outside the Capitol wearing a blue suit jacket, white shirt and blue tie.

George Santos finally went too far. His political downfall wasn’t lying about his business background, Jewish heritage or even his mother dying on 9/11.

Instead, it was using campaign funds to pay for OnlyFans.

What a perfect end to this twisted, unbelievable gay, MAGA saga.

The House Ethics Committee released Thursday a damning report into Santos’ conduct, spelling out how the phony politician “sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal financial profit.”

The committee voted unanimously to refer its findings to the Department of Justice. Santos is already facing a 23-count federal indictment that alleges he stole from donors and committed other violations.

House investigators compiled more than 170,000 pages of documents and testimonies from witnesses to paint the picture of Santos’ grift. The New York rep. is accused of using political donations to fund his high-flying lifestyle, along with creating a fraudulent consulting company that transferred thousands of dollars into one of Santos’ personal checking accounts.

Those payments, from a company called RedStone, were used to settle Santos’ credit card bills and purchase items worth $4,127.80 at the luxury brand Hermes.

Some of that money also went towards “smaller purchases” on OnlyFans, along with bills for Botox and Sephora.

That means Santos took money from unsuspecting Republicans and used it to…pay for gay sex workers and makeup! Honey, that’s the heist of the century!

If only Santos wasn’t so odious. UGH…

While Santos ripped the report, he announced he isn’t going to seek reelection.

“I will however NOT be seeking re-election for a second term in 2024 as my family deserves better than to be under the gun from the press all the time,” he posted.

Duplicitous diva down! Maybe a luxury trip to Atlantic City or Vegas will cheer this gurl up?

Who wants to volunteer their credit card?! (The report says Santos spent $2,281.52 at resorts in Atlantic City over a one-day period in July 2022, and put taxi and hotel charges for a vacay to Vegas on his campaign credit card.)

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t seem like Santos attracted the best staff, either. Text exchanges show the congressman and an aid lambasting Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen…once her identity was clarified.

Can you figure out which texts belong to Santos? We can’t!

Don’t expect Santos to own this deranged, yet iconic behavior, however. He’s already on the record lying about his OF dalliances.

Talk about getting ahead of the storm!

“I don’t have [an OnlyFans account], and I’ll indulge you this: I just discovered what OnlyFans was three weeks ago,” he said in a March interview on Fox Business.

His bank records say otherwise: Santos starting paying for OnlyFans in December 2022!

The host, former MTV VJ Kennedy, didn’t fall for his fib.

“You just can’t tell the truth,” she mutters under her breath (but not really, because she was on mic).

The only way to get Santos to spill the tea might be to call him under oath. At least one congressperson, out California rep. Robert Garcia, is pining for the hearing.

Now, we would pay some good money to see that!

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