Here are the most revealing moments of a thong-wearing Colton Haynes in “Rough Night”

Wait, Colton Haynes in a laminated, royal blue sparklethong? Yes, indeed.

While you won’t be able to stream Rough Night until August 25th, an enterprising young patriot has managed to find footage of Haynes’ cameo as an ill-fated stripper and they’ve been generous enough to share them online.

Related: Colton Haynes on ‘Rough Night’: “G-strings hurt”

Now, you can ogle (almost) every inch of Haynes’ body from the privacy of your own home, watching the endlessly looping gifs as friends get deserved promotions and put the last polishing touches on those creative projects they’ve kept on the back-burner for far too long; your most troubled acquaintances find the inner strength to confront their demons and seek the help they so desperately need; and those neighbors that are always bickering realize they’re so able to push each other’s buttons because they’re madly in love, were basically made for each other, and are each more than worth the risks involved with opening your heart.

Meanwhile, you’re still watching these goddamn Colton Haynes gifs: