PEEN PUNISHMENT

Here’s The Real Reason Why You’re Circumcised

stock-penis-funnyTechnically, you’re circumcised because “the Nineteenth Century prude who invented Corn Flakes was trying to ruin your sex life.”

The indisputable tea has been spilled by comedian Adam Conover in College Humor’s latest “Adam Ruins Everything” skit, a semi-educational clip explaining that circumcision outside the Jewish and Muslim faiths is nothing more than old-school, prudish and Puritanical sex-shaming. According to it, the first doctors to perform genital mutilation surgeries (circumcision) on babies, did so because they believed it would squash the urge to masturbate.

You know, because masturbation is so bad. There really are no benefits at all to masturbation.

“But it’s cleaner!,” they say. “It helps reduce the risk of HIV transmission!,” they say.

They were wrong. Though circumcision may reduce the risk of transmitting HIV by a sliver, condoms do the exact same thing more effectively. And they don’t hurt half as much.

But don’t feel sad if you are circumcised. Take comfort in knowing you share at least one thing in common with Zac Efron.