Needful Things

Hey, These Pants Let You Play The Drums With Your Crotch. And The Beat Goes On.

drumcrotchpants_465_297_int

Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

They’re a thing. A real thing. They’re… Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

Related: Six Inventions That Changed The Way You Have Sex

As Dangerous Minds reports, the Kaoring Machine (aka Electric Sexy Drum Pants) was developed by a Japanese experimental artist and pop music composer who felt the world needed a pair of pants featuring a synth drum trigger as the crotch. Call it Cock Rock 2016.

Related: Five Sex Toys You Don’t Need…

This handy demonstration video will answer all your questions, however personal.

Hit it: 

Still waiting for the invention of pan-flute penny loafers and dulcimer dungarees?

No go. In the meantime, why not slide into this jockstrap planter for men (sorry, ladies!), which retails at only $100? (Cactus not included, and why is this guy just holding the jockstrap planter for men and not wearing the jockstrap planter for men?)

IMG_5381_465_465_int

Important: However strong the urge, under no circumstances should you attempt wearing thr planter jockstrap for men beneath the Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

The technology’s not quite there yet.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated