Needful Things

Hey, These Pants Let You Play The Drums With Your Crotch. And The Beat Goes On.


Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

They’re a thing. A real thing. They’re… Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

Related: Six Inventions That Changed The Way You Have Sex

As Dangerous Minds reports, the Kaoring Machine (aka Electric Sexy Drum Pants) was developed by a Japanese experimental artist and pop music composer who felt the world needed a pair of pants featuring a synth drum trigger as the crotch. Call it Cock Rock 2016.

Related: Five Sex Toys You Don’t Need…

This handy demonstration video will answer all your questions, however personal.

Hit it: 

Still waiting for the invention of pan-flute penny loafers and dulcimer dungarees?

No go. In the meantime, why not slide into this jockstrap planter for men (sorry, ladies!), which retails at only $100? (Cactus not included, and why is this guy just holding the jockstrap planter for men and not wearing the jockstrap planter for men?)


Important: However strong the urge, under no circumstances should you attempt wearing thr planter jockstrap for men beneath the Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

The technology’s not quite there yet.