Holy Gay Hypocrisy! Update!

If we were asked to come up with the best possible gay scandal, our wildest imaginings wouldn’t even come close to this whole Ted Haggard debacle.

After unceremoniously stepping down as the president of President of the National Association of Evangelicals and running off for “spiritual guidance”, the disgraced homo-hater has now admitted to “some” of the allegations made by the little-hooker-that-could: Mike Jones. ABC News reports:

The president of the National Association of Evangelicals, who has resigned amid allegations that he had sex with a former self-described male prostitute, is now admitting to some indiscretions after initial denials, according to the acting senior pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado.

Hmmm, okay. We can’t imagine which part of Jones’ arguments Haggard could deny. Maybe its the fact that Haggard allegedly said, “‘A fantasy of mine is to have an orgy with about six young college guys ranging from 18 to 22 in age”, or maybe its the fact that they had sex all together. He certaintly can’t deny the voicemails asking for meth, they’ve been analyzed by a voice expert.

Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address. I could send you some money for inventory but that’s probably not working, so if you have it then go ahead and get what you can and I may buzz up there later today, but I doubt your schedule would allow that unless you have some in the house. Okay, I’ll check in with you later. Thanks a lot, bye.

First of all, we have not idea how much meth goes for these days, but $200 sounds like the makings of a party. A sex party, perhaps? (What we wouldn’t give for pictures of Haggard getting rammed up the ass while smoking meth!)

So, maybe Haggard’s admitting to the drug use and not the gay sex part. If so, then he’s a bigger idiot than we thought. We’d much rather have a pastor who sucks dick than a tweaker man of the cloth. But, that’s just us.