sucking

In the Twilight Gay Porn Flick, That’s Not Blood Dripping On Your Neck

From the Department Of Inevitable comes Twinklight, a gay porn film filled with vampires and, if you’re lucky, a Stephanie Meyer sacrifice. But this is not a movie spoof; it is, director Afton Nills’ trailer would have us believe, a real story about love, passion, betrayal, and temptation that just happens to feature twinks screwing. It debuts (not in theaters, but at smut shops) on June 30, lawsuits notwithstanding.

Alas, there was the missed opportunity of turning out a catchy tagline, like, “Suck on this,” or, “They might be dead, but they’re fully engorged,” or even “Blood is on the bathhouse floor.” Surely you can’ come up with something better?

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36 Comments

  • Mike L.

    Uh, yeah the blood’s a big turn off.

  • Aaron

    Cum would be better :)

  • Taylor Siluwé

    I think I’m in love with this already. Maybe because if I squint really really hard I’ll see Robert Pattinson with his legs in the air getting his hole worked.

    ;-)

  • eyeroll

    REALLY?!?!?!

  • christopher di spirito

    Team Jacob.

  • Charlie Jackpot

    what a load of bollocks

  • Brandon H

    Am i the only one that found this disturbing? The sex came off as violent, and not violent hot, but violent scary and bad.

  • Alexander A.

    “That’s Not Blood Dripping On Your Neck”

    Ewww Queerty, you nasty. I thought we already had a gay “Twilight”… it was called New Moon.

  • Qjersey

    How is this hot? The cast look like a bunch of partied out twinks at 6am

  • Ogre Magi

    Nothing worse than porn that takes it’s self too seriously!

  • Scott

    Pardon the obviousness of this comment but… This looks like the gayest thing since…Twilight.

  • Random Rashes

    Is this worse than bareback? Please Advise.

  • Pip

    uh I don’t really want blood in my porn—especially twink porn. thanks.

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    It sucks….. :-p

  • Suburban

    It wasn’t that bad. Some people just overreact.

  • scott ny'er

    i think it looks pretty good, altho, the promo started to look repetitive. We get it, they are vampires, and they are biting people. Let’s move along. Of course, there might be nothing else to the film than the biting and the screwing.

  • jason

    Porn is a sad and tragic industry. Behind the paid-for sex scenes, there’s often drug addictions, pimping, physical abuse and mental problems. We shouldn’t be enabling this industry.

    Stay well away from porn and you’ll become a better person.

  • Kevin (New Jersey, US)

    This looks awful. And yeah, it takes itself WAY too seriously.

  • Tallskin

    Yeah, I’ve had sex like that.

    It was nothing great

    But, now I’ve hung up my fangs

  • sExplosion

    no way
    it’s so bloody bad!

  • stephen

    *faints*

  • nyc08

    FANGS + BJ’s = NOT SEXY!

    I’ll still watch it though…

  • B

    No. 19 · Kevin (New Jersey, US) wrote, “This looks awful. And yeah, it takes itself WAY too seriously.”

    It probably is awful, but sometimes a film takes itself far less seriously than the trailer. Trailers have gotten so bad that they actually discourage me from seeing films – they are designed to get your attention on a small screen like an iPhone or a TV set and are simply too much when seen in a theater.

  • Art

    what about the Twink Diaries? hah

  • ossurworld

    As we say at the birdwatcher’s club, Bullfinch!

  • Aaron in Honolulu

    Sorry, blood and sex don’t mix for me…

  • The Artist

    Drugs and crime spreading on the street…people can’t find enough to eat…our kids can’t go out and play. That’s the state of the world today. How is this important, relevant or mildly entertaining? PEACELUVNBWILD!

  • Atergoboy

    How about “Only werewolves do it doggy style.”?

    Or would that be the sequel?

  • Lincoln Rose

    Twinklight…exchanging bodily fluids @ a pornshop near you

    nah…

    “sucking off the next generation!”

    nah…

    Twinklight..these boys taste great and are less filling…no matter which end is up!

  • LWJII

    I have a weird thing for vampires, I just might watch this.

  • LWJII

    When I was a kid I would dream of a hot vampire coming through my window to get me, like Dracula. And trust me they wouldn’t nightmares… :)

  • Taylor Siluwé

    Lol @ Lincoln Rose.

    Some people are taking this way too seriously. Don’t think of it so much as porn but as campy ‘horrotica’

  • Fred

    Signs of true boredom there.

  • daxxter

    God, could that be any worse? I counted at least twice bad actors looked right at the camera! Well, you get what you pay for. Luckily, they won’t be getting any of my money!

Comments are closed.