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Ivanka’s former BFF spills a whole pot of tea in gossipy new essay

As Ivanka Trump prepares to depart the White House in January, her former BFF has penned a gossipy new essay published by Vanity Fair that somehow manages to be both shocking and completely unsurprising at the same time.

Lysandra Ohrstrom was best friends with the soon-to-be-ex White House senior advisor growing up. They met at Chapin, an all-girls school on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, and remained close throughout their teens and 20s.

“Sure, she loved to talk about herself and was shamelessly vain,” Ohrstrom recalls, “but she was also fun, loyal, and let’s face it, pretty exciting.”

According to Ohrstrom, Ivanka is about as awful as you might imagine.

She writes about a time the first daughter allegedly turned up her nose at a necklace that had Arabic writing, saying, “It just screams, ‘terrorist’.”

Then there was the time she allegedly trashed Richard Russo’s bestselling novel Empire Falls, asking, “Why would you tell me to read a book about f*cking poor people?”

Oh, and there’s this, um, little tidbit:

One of the earliest memories I have of Ivanka from before we were friends is when she blamed a fart on a classmate. Some time later, she goaded me and a few other girls into flashing our breasts out the window of our classroom in what has since been labelled the “flashing the hot dog man” incident in Chapin lore. Ivanka had basically been the ringleader, but she pleaded her innocence to the headmistress and got off scot-free. The rest of us were suspended.

Ivanka Trump blaming others for misdeeds she committed? Color us shocked!

The friendship soured shortly after Ivanka married Jared Kushner in 2009 and inexplicably lost interest in maintaining any sort of close relationship with Ohrstrom.

At one point she allegedly went so far as to send Ohrstrom a text telling her that she was “too busy” for “this sh*t”. (“This sh*t” being their friendship.)

“That was more or less the end,” Ohrstrom writes. “She was never impolite, but we no longer belonged to each other’s inner circles.”

She later adds, “I’ve been a good Wasp and kept quiet until now, even as I’ve grown increasingly repulsed by Ivanka’s ability to aid and abet her father. I’ve been comforted by the certainty that the backlash from those whose respect she craves most must sting.”

“Still, I miss my old friend.”

Related: Ivanka implies she might be moving to the moon or Mars, Twitter overwhelmingly approves