Here’s a quick run-down of everything queer that happened on True Blood last night:
– Victim turned lesbian Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley) had a late night dinner with her gay cousin Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and his boyfriend Jesus (Kevin Alejandro). Male witches Jesus and Lafayette traded a kiss during the meal and later, the trio faced off against a punk-rock she-vamp who promised fuck and kill them all if they did hand over a local witch.
– Seven female were-panthers chained a shirtless and feverish Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) to a bed and fed him Mexican viagra so they could rape him and repopulate the were-panther race. Dude!
– Vampire Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) literally sucked off a fairy named Claudine tackling her in the dead of night and completely draining her of her life essence—that’s what you get for threatening Sookie, gurl! Even though the fairy turned hella fugly when she died, watching her get sucked off by Eric made us want a neck hickey of our own!
Yoo-hoo, Eric! You’re totally invited in—our house is your house!