TAKE ME OUT

Major League Baseball Adds Protections For Nonexistent Gay Players

Listen up, fans! Major League Baseball has added “sexual orientation” to the discrimination protections listed in their new Collective Bargaining Agreement, offering some legal protections should a player ever decide to come out. But as you probably know, there are no openly gay players in MLB, even despite multiple teams making “It Gets Better” videos.

Which closeted player will be the first to step up to the plate?