A man says his fiancé’s family is boycotting their wedding after he got into an argument with fiancee’s homophobic great aunt over the menu, so he’s turning to Reddit for advice.
In his post, the 27-year-old explains that he and his fiancee, Andrew, have been together for five years and are planning to be wed later this year.
“Andrew has always wanted a big wedding, so we planned on doing so where we live in Austin,” he writes. “Andrew’s family is huge, so most of the invites are for his side. We heard some grumblings when we announced the venue, but it was no big deal.”
Turns out, the bigger issue was the menu. Neither of the grooms eat meat and so they’ll be serving a vegan menu.
How about we take this to the next level?
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The man describes Andrew’s family as “meat-eatin’ country folk” from East Texas.
“When we sent out the actual invites which mentioned a vegan dinner, you’d think we had announced an immediate consummation of the marriage in the form of a gay orgy with all our friends at the altar,” he writes. “So many people called us, SO OFFENDED we would make our wedding vegan.”
But it was Andrew’s Great Aunt Gale who took the most offense.
“Sweet Gale could not fathom eating a vegan dinner and said it was no meal fit for her growing grandkids,” the man writes. “She demanded that we change the menu. We kept telling her no.”
He continues, “Late last year, we were facetiming her and some of her preteen Satan Spawn. She was ‘teasing’ us to change the menu to accommodate a ‘sweet ol gal’ like her. Andrew went to the bathroom. She quickly told me while he was gone that she would ‘put up with a pansy wedding, but there’s no way in hell [she’d] let her kids eat like pansies'”
The man told Gale if she had such an issue with the menu, she didn’t have to come. Within 24 hours, several of Andrew’s family members texted to say they couldn’t believe how rude he was to their great aunt. Since then, 20 of his future in-laws have said they’re boycotting the wedding unless he apologizes.
“My fiancé wants me to apologize as he wants a big wedding, and Gale not coming means many others won’t come,” the man writes. “I told him I’m not apologizing until she fesses up about what she really said to me. He knows she won’t and wants me to be the bigger person. I’m refusing.”
The man wants to know what others on Reddit think he should do. Pretty much everyone agrees that Aunt Gale is awful and he shouldn’t have to bend to her demands.
“My god nobody will die if they don’t eat meat for one day,” one person comments. “She can go home and have a massive steak if it’s so much of an issue for her.”
“Keep standing up for yourself and your big day,” another writes. “They can eat their meat and be homophobic in grand old Texas. The quality of the guests should be more important than the quantity, in my opinion.”
“She used a homophobic slur against you,” a third person says. “She needs to apologize to you.”
“Why don’t you tell your in-law family that you’re not inviting someone who uses derogatory terms about your sexuality WHILE making demands?!” a fourth person suggests.
And then there’s this gem: “It’s pretty amazing calling someone a pansy while at the same time not being able to handle one meal without meat.”
What do you think this guy should do? Sound off in the comments section below…
Dez
so if a person doesnt want to kill animals and eat them, they’re a pansy? I can’t wait for the older generation idiots to die off.
atwc21
i don’t agree with you , but i guess now is the moment with coronarivus………….
jamesfrankie900
Now I am happier than ever… I work from home and I am my own boss now like I always wanted… I see a lot of unhappy people around me, working the same old boring job that’s sucking the life out of them day by day… Everytime I see someone like that I say START FREELANCING MAN! This is where I started..? 6.gp/a72Xf
mikhailmaui
Dez, if you think the older generations are the only ones with idiots you are highly mistaken. I am 60 and do not eat meat, chicken or pork and all I hear from my younger relatives in their 20’s is how silly that is. Three have eating disorders, but mock me for not eating meat. So there ya go… idiots come in all ages.
dougie
Amen! Time for some new vision, some new leadership in the world.
Cam
Seems a good opportunity to show the family that you aren’t going to be pushed around by their passive aggressive B.S.
Have the wedding without them, and let them find out from other people that went that with all the money you saved for 30 people not going, you gave everybody a kick-ass gift bag.
But honestly , seems better to save the huge amount of money, have a small wedding and go on a fantastic trip for the honeymoon.
robUK
It’s outrageous that people invited to a wedding have an opinion & try to force it onto the 2 most important people there, i.e. the grooms, brides, etc. Someone invited will always be pissed off it doesn’t suit their narrow, selfish agenda. Invitees don’t get a say in how it is planned or delivered so great aunts, in-laws & others should go f*** themselves. Who would want anyone there that uses the word “pansy” anyway?
For reasons like this my partner of 30 years & I will be married with no family or friends present. Covid-19 has screwed us asking the only two friends we would like to act as witnesses.
Mister P
No one can control other people.
Invite the old bitty and if she doesn’t want to come because of the menu then that is her choice.
The wedding is supposed to be about sharing the love and joy of a union and the food has nothing to do with it.
Dack52
should be grand aunt–the sibling of a grand parent–not “great” aunt; or could be great grand aunt–sibling of a great grandparent
Coruna2018
Dack,
The correct way to identify the sister of one’s grandparent or the sister-in-law of a grandparent is referred to as a “great-aunt”.
Azgaard
Funny enough, my mother has an identical twin sister. My nephew, when he was old enough to understand what a twin was, would always call them Grandma and Auntie Grandma.
Bromancer7
Vegans are the worst.
leebuffy69
You should go live in Texas with his aunt #Stupidstatement
atwc21
i agree with you, i don’t want to be vegan now at age of 30, well maybe 55 years old i will stop eating meat…..LOL
TriggeredYou
Sanctimonious vegans clash with sanctimonious carnivores… Both can be so insufferable!
djbear
What does his fiance say? It should be up to him. The Aunt was way wrong but he and his partner need to have an honest discussion – is this a deal breaker? If they agree, go ahead with the wedding the way they want but if one of them feels bent out of whack, think about eloping or NOT getting married.
Norm
I’d feed the guests some kind of regular meal with meat. Don’t people usually get to pick between a couple of different meals like fish or chicken or beef? Pick two of those and add a third choice, Vegan and tell what it consists of. If someone wants it they can order it. I don’t know about their families but there are more meat eaters than vegans so work on pleasing the majority and offer a vegan option. Then they can invite the great aunt and sometime during the reception they can set her up and make a fool out of her in a JOKING way for her making fun of their vegan lifestyle.
Cam
I totally get what you’re saying and agree with you.
But if the grooms are vegan for moral reasons and they really have a problem with meat, I get why they wouldn’t want to pay for it to be served at their wedding.
Weddings seem to make everybody crazy.
Mister P
Some people don’t drink so they don’t have any alcohol at their wedding.
When in Rome, do as the Romans
dmhandy
I would apologize to the great aunt but not change the menu. I wouldn’t invite anyone who calls me a pansy.
The wedding belongs to the grooms. No one is forcing anyone to eat anything. The meat eaters can go to a steakhouse afterwards for meat. The guests should put family first and not make the menu a reason not to attend.
Jon in Canada
I’m an omnivore and I love eating steak and the like; however, I’m also an adult and like most sane adults, If invited to an event/dinner that is vegan (I have done so) my response is to bring a nice wine, enjoy my time with my gracious hosts and thank them for a lovely meal. And yes, it really is that simply, it’s called maturity and courtesy.
The family aren’t adults, they’re petulant crybabies with entitlement issues.
Goforit
They are from Texas. That’s all you need to know.
rbernard
I recommend the grooms continue with the menu and wedding as they originally planned.
Let the ones that come, have a terrific time and the ones that don’t, well they will miss a good time because of their asinine ways…
WSnyder
I think the first thing the boys need to do is get on the same page. They can’t approach this type of an issue without being on a unified front. It won’t bode well for their marriage if they can’t. They both should agree on a plan and both get Auntie Gale on a call together. They then present their plan to Auntie Gale and go from there. Plan together, stick together no matter what she [and the rest of the family] decides or does. They have to agree that once they decide on a plan, they can’t let the families decision influence their own. IMHO, if the family is making that much of a stink about the food, over the wedding, it’s NOT likely the type of family a gay couple would keep in close contact with over the long term. Why let a part of the family who will be nothing more than names on the Holiday Card list influence such and important day?
Onecaddy13
I agree with some parts, BUT, I totally disagree with the sit down and present a plan that’s satisfies the aunt. I THINK NOT!! This is the Grooms big day, They have planned this for years, it’s their money, they should have the wedding they dreamed of with no interference from any family member. (Who does this)?) First of all, members of the family making all the fuss should be embarrassed for degrading their family members by calling them pansies. Second, The grooms should disinvite all the homophobic family members calling them these childish names. And lastly, you’re right, they will be only be a name on a holiday card, that’s if they get one. I wish the Grooms much luck and happiness.
jonasalden
Totally. This doesn’t bode well for the future I agree. You know what I’d do if I were the man in question? I’d say (in a mass email to the other guy’s family without consulting him). “You know what? This all started because we were vegans and wanted our menu to reflect our lifestyle. Now this has ended with ME being the bad guy because his aunt leveled a slur at me. So, I don’t care if the menu is changed to raw meat. I DON’T CARE. HAVE AT IT! Consider my capitulation on the menu my apology.” Now the fiance has to deal with them. I’d just have a vegan set prepared just for me. And after the wedding, I’d never have to see them again. OR, the way the partner handled the whole thing would give me pause about marrying him after all.
jjose712
To be honest, i wouldn’t go to a vegan wedding neither.
I know the wedding is for the grooms but if you don’t care about your guesses that’s not a good thing either.
Frankly, this seems to be destined to fail anyway
jrh311
What do you think vegans eat? It would just be food without animal products. If you seriously need to eat animal products with every single meal of the day, eat before you go. Good grief.
Man About Town
Holy crap on a cracker! If you were a friend or relative of this couple and they were nice enough to invite you to their wedding, you wouldn’t go because of the friggin’ menu?? Unbelievable.
CurtisIsTheOne
So the carnivores are all in a stink because they can’t get dead animal flesh to eat on a wedding day.?Wasn’t this stuff covered in the First Testament? Personally, I think that old dinosaurs need to die off so that intelligent life can thrive again. However, sharing a celebration of a joyous occasion should also take into account the needs of the guests. I think guests should be offered a meat option and a vegan option; this would also be a good opportunity to explain why the grooms believe in veganism. OR NOT.
Just make sure there is ENOUGH alcohol so the guests can get good and lubed and start some good old boy fights and arguments. WE- Haaa.
Onecaddy13
@CurtisIsTheOne.. EXCELLENT!!!
Hussain-TheCanadian
Am I the only one who thinks weddings, not to mention big weddings, are ridiculous, over priced, over planned sh*tshows that are better left to our straight peers to get stressed over?
I rather go down to city hall, sign the marriage license, throw a nice dinner gathering for my closest friends and family. No big cake, no expensive decorations and flowers, no distant family members i see once a year, no ridiculous prices, I rather put that money towards a condo or a house.
As for the above story, the bigoted aunt can enjoy her local streak house at any time, going to a wedding is supposed to be an act of celebration, respect, and love; shes ridiculous, and so are the other ridiculous family members.
Toofie
That what we did and it was beautiful. No need to go into debt or pull one’s hair fretting over it.
Dunnedin
It sounds as if the great aunt is a controlling b***h and the rest of the relatives are looking for a way not to go to a “pansy” wedding. If either of them give in, expect a life of being told what they can and cannot do, and I give the marriage a year…at most.
Wolfwalk
Honestly, the couple will be better off without such toxicity around them. After 30 years of being a couple, my husband’s sister, her husband and grown kids, who had treated me as one of the family, decided that we were sinners, that I was corrupting their brother and uncle (who had one 5 year relationship and several shorter ones before we met,) etc. After 2 years of being ignored by them and overlooked for invitations to family gatherings, etc, not being allowed to see their grandchildren, etc, they finally cut us off completely 9 years ago and and frankly, both hubby and I are better off for it. If they’re this bad to start with, they have no chance of having a normal relationship with them down the line.
Thad
Would this couple face the same reaction if they chose to have a daytime reception serving just cake and punch? People do that and have a fine time.
Guests have some nerve dictating the menu.
Wheelerman
Oh, ffs, the meal is not what a wedding is about. Gale is just looking for an excuse to disrupt the affair. Let her and her coterie stay home. Real folks wanting to celebrate the couple’s love do not care what’s on the menu.
ducdebrabant
It’s an invitation. The correct answer is yes or no. It isn’t a negotiation. Does she want to dictate the wedding cake too?
Consider This
She certainly deserves meat.
Have the kitchen mould a can of dog food into the shape of a penis. Have it specially brought out for her. That should liven things up at the dinner.
voyy
Weddings are divisive. I don’t do ceremonies. I got out of my high school graduation(my parents had to send a note…even though I was 18). I only go to ceremonies now if I’m paid. Vegan food isn’t pay enough.
kookookachoo
Just have an open bar, no one will care what’s for dinner.
Paulie P
Makes me wonder how many others feel they are attending a “pansy” wedding. That is the real problem here.
jackmister
Yes, the Aunt was way out of line, but if you are hosting an event, you should try and accommodate all your guests. That’s just good manners and being a gracious host. Also, if you are invited to an event and you are served something you do not like, smile, push it around on your plate a bit, and say how delicious it was.
joeboyle49
ITS THE GUYS WEDDING SO THEY SHOULD DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND THE FAMILY JUST ACCEPT WHAT THEY DO!! IF THE GUYS ARE VEGAN THEN THE REST OF THE FAMILY HAS TOO ACCEPT WHAT THEY GUYS PUT ON THE TABLE AND IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT THEY CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AFTER THE WEDDING AND EAT WHAT THEY WANT TO EAT!!
sjosephs
Should have never said it was vegan wedding. Should have surprised them. If they don’t want to celebrate the way you do, leave ’em out of it.
dougie
I wouldn’t worry too much about their not attending. Just look at all the money you’re saving by not having to pay for their dinner.
RyanMBecker
My gawd, doesn’t anyone proofread??? The title and text switches from “fiancé” (masculine, correctly including accent) to “fiancee” (feminine, incorrectly omitting accent) several times. I was confused in the beginning, thinking this was a heterosexual marriage. What makes it especially confusing is that this is an LGBT site, so trans weddings are a possibility. Seriously, you guys need to proofread.
John
Im not sure if the fiancé is more upset about the word “pansy” or the protest over the vegan meal? I believe one line above says she was “teasing” them, so not knowing this woman maybe she has a crazy old lady sense of humor- Auntie must not be too upset about gays marrying it appears she was going to the wedding just not happy about the reception- Plan accordingly and just one less at the salad bar-
[email protected]
guests are just that. . noone is due a meal, much less a meat-based meal. who in the world thinks they should be due a certain type of meal?
ZUMMY
If she comes, present Auntie with her own, specially made choice of meat or fowl, “Baby Jane” style.
Oranos
“My fiancé wants me to apologize as he wants a big wedding, and Gale not coming means many others won’t come,” the man writes.
SO, the fiancee wants his husband-to-be to apologize simply because “he wants a big wedding”? The principles just disappeared, or is it just that he wants the fiancee to apologize for standing up to the aunt?
These guys need to have a serious conversation. They are NOT on the same page. Great-aunt gets to call them pansies, but what really matters to one guy is not that his aunt called his fiancee a pansy, but it’s about “having a big wedding.” Wow. I can see apologizing for simply saying that, but this sounds like “just ignore her, no matter what she says. For the rest of our life together.” Who does he love more, his fiancee, whom he’s supposed to be committed to, or his family? This could be a sign of what the marriage will be like.
jonasalden
But then again, this is all over ONE meal? Seems silly to me. I’d make a note of my fiance not defending me after being called a pansy by his aunt. All because he wants a big wedding! Wow, maybe he’s not the guy for you.