DUDE CROOKS LIKE A LADY

Man Poses As Angry Lesbian To Rail Against “Heteronormative” Fictional Fast Food Family

gloria-ironbachsA man posing as a radical lesbian feminist filed a bizarre complaint against the A&W fast food chain and its fictional Burger Family, claiming that it was “degrading to non-traditional families.”

According to Canada’s National Post, the complaint was filed by a “Gloria Ironbox” with Ontario’s human rights tribunal last month. In it, Ironbox demanded $50,000 from the chain over allegations that Mama, Papa, Teen, Baby and Grandpa Burger was “an attack on my womyn identity.”

“The whole heteronormative, phallocentric marketing scheme of A&W is highly degrading to non-tradition families,” read the complaint. “The level of humiliation and degradation I felt exceeded that which I felt when I was raped.”

The tribunal threw out the complaint earlier this month after realizing that Gloria Ironbox was never raped because Gloria Ironbox is a fictional character from Family GuyThrough further correspondence, Ironbox eventually revealed herself to be a man — a man with a huge set of balls. He’s still urging the tribunal to process his complaint lest they deny him his right to expression.

Does anyone know when pulling a fake rape card became a right, though?

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8 Comments

  • RomanHans

    I hereby nominate this man as Queerty’s Douche of the Week.

  • Dakotahgeo

    Another dolt who gives the GLBT Community a bad name. All such persona should be neutered/spayed for the good of humankind!

  • 2eo

    @Dakotahgeo: I proposed a giant cannon to fire them into a volcano, but I was shouted down as being an unhuman monster.

    There’s loads of reasons I could be called this though, so it may just be a coincidence.

  • Dakotahgeo

    @2eo: LOLOL… I think I like your idea better even though it’s more dangerous, heh heh heh. Coincidence: Take pride, man… take pride! :-)

  • the other Greg

    This is silly because of course, all radical lesbian feminists are vegans (except for yogurt) so he should have included that in the complaint.

  • vklortho

    What a disgusting human being! :(

  • the other Greg

    I’m amazed that anyone here is outraged by this, never mind usually-sensible folks like 2eo and Dak. I’m a liberal (in a U.S. context) but… seriously? Please, guys, find a place to lie down before you faint like Scarlett O’Hara.

    Like practically anything “Family Guy”-related, this story is hilarious.

    And the weirdest part is that the Ontario government has the time and resources to investigate such a ridiculous non-issue. Well, I realize they have their priorities up there. Unfortunately, if a real-life homophobe beats a gay person to death in Canada we’ll be lucky if he gets a sentence of ten years.

  • Will L

    Hey, as long as they let you order two Mama burgers at the same table, I have no problem with that. He’s probably straight, too. :)

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