More Americans Consider Dogs Who Lick Their Own Crotches to Be ‘Family’ Than Gay Couples

America has a new definition of family, every media outlet seems to be reporting! It’s based on research to be published by Brian Powell, a sociology professor at Indiana University-Bloomington, in Counted Out: Same-Sex Relations and Americans’ Definitions of Family. The New York Times insists “A majority of Americans now say their definition of family includes same-sex couples with children, as well as married gay and lesbian couples,” but that “most Americans do not consider unmarried cohabiting couples, either heterosexual or same-sex, to be a family — unless they have children.” That’s all great and stuff, but there’s still a couple things to knock down your spirits, notes Time:

This data set, based on surveys conducted in 2003 and 2006 (old news, as far as I’m concerned), shows more people are opposed to same-sex marriage (52%) than support it (48%), and also that more Americans believe pets to be family (51%) than gay couples (33%). But if those gay couples are legally married? Then 59% of this country will let them count as family.

On the other hand, more Americans believe obesity is caused by crappy parenting — something fewer and fewer people are also willing to blame homosexuality on. Progress!

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  • adam

    it’s 33% for childless gay couples, and barely better at 40% for childless straight couples. could have been said a bit less twisted.

  • Alfonzo

    Yeah, the headline is VERY poorly worded.

  • brian

    The headline isn’t poorly worded, it’s interntionally worded to attract hits. The actual poll shows the main determinant of family is a marriage between two people regardless of their sex. Queerty finds this boring, so a fake controversy is engineered instead.

  • Chris

    why does queerty hate dogs?

  • Steve

    Q: Why do dogs lick their own crotches?

    A: Because they can.

  • Samuel

    @Chris: What makes you think it’s not the other way around? Signed,


  • vinnyc

    ” Dogs Who Lick Their Own Crotches” Qweerty writer is Canisphobe! This indignation against all Dogs- white brown black, yelow etc.- straight, bi or gay shall not go unanswered. Please support me in usurping this writer .

  • Jeffree

    More people own dogs than have gay family members, so the comparison made in the study is invalid!

    The better comparison would be something like:
    –Of the people who own one or more dog(s), how many consider them part of the family?
    –Of the people who have one or more gay family members with a partner, how many consider them part of the family?

    It’s not worded exactly right, but you get the idea.

    I’m always a little shocked when someone looks at his/her watch and says “Oops gotta go home & feed the kids” & they really mean to feed the dogs and or cats!

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