Six more ladies to go! I’ll post the recap later, but I’ll say that I think that Carmen, Jara, and Delta gotta go. You know that Manila, Shangela, and Raja are gonna make it to the end.
10:00 PM – It just occured to me that some of the dramatic music they use on Untucked is the same as the music they use in Project Runway. You can tell Alexis loves erasing the lipstick on the mirror every week. Watch out, Alexis… one day it’s gonna be your make-up on that mirror.
10:04 PM – Manila gets real with Shangela about the fact that she’s gonna attack her and try to win, friendship be damned. Tonight the ladies will have to read each other and throw shade a la Paris is Burning. Jara throws some funny shade (at least we think so, because we can’t understand a word). Everyone makes fun of Delta for being a fat ass which he finds totally predictable. Shangela really tears these bitches up by calling Raka fashion roadkill and telling Carmen that even is she threw herself in the ocean, she’d float bc of all her silicone.
10:09 PM – The ladies will train with comedienne Rita Rudner to put together a comedy routine. Shangela has some advantage because she has performance experience, but she feels the workplace is more divided than ever between what she calls “Team Talent” with her, Jara, and Alexis
and “Team Look” with Carmen, Delta, Raja, and Manila. Maybe she should have called her team “Team Horribly Accented English.” Yes, Shangela the workplace has becomes divided… it’s everyone against you!
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10:14 PM – We all know how bad it can be when someone tries to be funny. Alexis and Jara both think that Shangela never properly learned how to do makeup. Carmen is afraid to embrace his inner Jersey trash, but RuPaul says you betta or it’s over! Manila’s gay childhood routine doesn’t sound so great. Alexis wants to talk about her coming to America experience… but will it be funny as the REAL Coming to America?! That movie was funny as shit. Delta will use all the inner pain she’s suffered at the hands of fat jokes to deliver a routine that’s “Poor me, pour me another drink!”
10:18 PM – Watch out bitches because Shangela gets to choose the lineup. You know she’s gonna try and kneecap her fellow dragsters! Here’s the lineup: Raja will bit the bullet, Carmen, Alexis, Shangela, Manila, Jara, and Delta. She put Manila right after her to really throw down—you intimidated by me, bizznitch? Then try doing comedy RIGHT AFTER ME! Uh oh… and you know Shangela’s gonna be funny because the girl is wrong as hell! She may be the villain, but God what a great villain. They shouldn’t have been so mean to her last week because the Queen Bitch is back and ready to sting! YOU BETTA WERQUE!!!
10:22 PM – Commercial: If you don’t put ozone-killing chemicals in your hair, you will never be beautiful you horribly flawed person!
10:23 PM – Another commercial: Don’t worry about your poo sheets ever again! Just use Lysol!
10:24 PM – Yet another commercial: I kinda hope Sucker Punch is riot-grrrl, pro-woman, lesbian delight and now just some fanboy jerk-off fantasy.
10:25 PM – And yet another commercial still: It’s hard to find the perfect vacation when you’re a stuffy uptight white guy.
10:26 PM – Rita Rudner keeps a constant look of unamusement as these queens perform. Alexis can’t make jokes about visiting Miami in a raft because he can’t pronounce the word “raft.” It looks like Jara will do a routine that involves him being a midget with diarrhea. Shangela will perform as a combination pimp-ho. He’s lucky to get ten extra minutes with Rita Rudner because it seems like everyone else only got about 20 seconds.
10:30 PM – Delta is beginning to struggle because she has to deal with being a large girl who’s funny in front of an audience. For the time being she has decided her best bet is to cry quietly in the corner. But lucky for her Carmen has put on a fat bikini suit that looks much frumpier and far less funny than anything Delta could ever ever do. As Shangela said, “Girl just signed the papers. She’s going home.”
10:35 PM – Ready to watch some comedy? Raja does a comedy routine about blowing her father while wearing a great Carrie costume. Carmen decides that she wants to be so fat that she takes a shit and accidentally has a baby without knowing it. Alexis does a great psycho-Charro bit with mega-huge tits! Shangela plays La Queefa the postmodern pimp-ho who’s a pimp but also her own ho—sometimes she doesn’t even pay herself her own money. Seriously, Shangela is really funny and so wrong! Manila comes on a lukewarm routine about Sesame Street… uh-oh! Jara Sofia comes in on her knees playing a very slutty midget who gets serious run butt after eating a 14-inch cock sandwich with her butt. Delta also delivers a so-so routine in bikini t-shirt.
10:46 PM – Everyone loves Raja’s costume but she didn’t really get into her own story and how it related to the hour story of Carrie. Carmen’s routine saved herself by actually being funny and wearing a skin-tight tape, Alexis gets told that she used her Volkswagon-sized breasts as a crutch and that she rushed through the act. Everyone loves Shangela’s act and her improved makeup and she’s probably gonna win. The people are not so sure that Manila’s stale Sesame Street jokes. Delta went onstage with too much nervousness and went on too long without a laugh. Jara’s over the top. Delta’s started all over the place and was too sad and dark. One judge says, “She has a constant aura of sadness about her.” Could it be that because the other big girl Stacey got the boot that she felt extra self-conscious tonight?
10:54 PM – Prediction: Manila and Delta on bottom two. Delta gets the boot.
10:55 PM – Commercial: Red Riding Hood! The scariest movie about menses you’ve ever seen. Periods were much scarier in the dark ages. Even scarier than Carrie!
10:56 PM – Alexis is safe, Raja is safe. Manila is up for elimination! Shangela wins which gets her stared daggers from Manila! It’s Delta’s third time in the bottom… and third time’s a charm! Manila knocks it out of the park! But she and Delta share a tender moment at the song’s end when Manila comes from behind and holds her friend… it’s actually really beautiful and sad.
11:00 PM – As Delta gets eliminated, the Heathers (aka Team Look) all hug while Queen of the Boogers smiles having vanquished another one of her foes. Shangela’s smile radiates, “You’re next, bitch!” Ooooh! We love it.
Star
I really hope that Shangela gets eliminated and soon! I really can’t believe that Delta went home before her. This girl just won a challenge based off of personality and yes it does shine but they girl can’t do her own make-up, can’t make her own costums, can’t cut or braid her own hair, hell the bitch can’t even put on a fake lash. I’m really sorry I love Jara but I am on Team Heather. They need to take this bitch out!
divkid
DANIEL VILLARREAL thank you for scaling these high cultural peaks so i don’t have to.
now, i don’t wanna blow smoke up your ass – unless you’d like that. would you? haha.
NO, REALLY would you? – but i just wanted to tell you that you are, like, theee most comedy mofo, like ever!
and your agent definitely didn’t ask me to inquire as to whether you write comedy elsewhere; or do have a blog?
i just google stalked you and computer says no. 🙁
oh, and i’m gonna start dressing like you.
wont that be neat! *squeals*
:\
divkid
ps i wasn’t being ironic, i’m just british.
the praise was genuine; the stalking not so much.
but i *am* watching you at this moment ; P
mylar
The whole “Heathers” thing is so gross. That level of cliquey bitchiness is annoying in 6th graders and just unattractive in adults.
askena
Don’t you be raggin’ on my Orbitz mustachioed dreamboat!
gew
@mylar: Delta’s comment about preferring to loose to another Heather being preferable earned her, in my opinion her ouster.
As it turns out, looks like Delta SHOULD have worried about some people she claimed she wasn’t.
I mean, the whole cliquey thing may come with drag territory, and I’m pretty certain that the girls have been asked to up the bitchiness for ratings (season two was bitcher than season one, and season three is worse than season two) but it IS getting tiresome.
Darling Nikki
Shangela has won this year’s edition. Ru chooses the least imaginative, obnoxious, lazy Queen each season.
Ongina should’ve won Season 1.
Season 2 should’ve been btwn Pandora Boxx and Raven.
Season 3 should go to Raja with Manilla nipping at her heels.
But Ru is not interested in actual C.U.N.T., so Shangela has won.
Don’t bother to watch if you think this is a true competition. It ain’t.
Cam
Shangela is just this years Rebecca and Tyra.
RuPaul always picks somebody undeserving, but for whatever reasons she wants them to win. The fact that Ru was trying to attack the other contestants for not doing all of Shangela’s work for her is just irritating to say the least. I don’t know why I bother with the show when it’s the same every year.
Akula
I have to agree with Darling Nikki it looks like Ru already picked the winner, it was pretty obvious when they announced it would be a comedy act when everyone knew that shangela did comedy before, nothing like throwing a softball pitch to your chosen winner. Lets face it you can learn a lot of things in a day but doing stand up isn’t one of them.
swarm
Spoilers hint that Trash-can-gela may not be in the final 2 but it’s hard to piece together because her arrival was a surprise. So there is less initial footage of her.(counting up the different looks for challenges).
ITA @7. I thought Raja or Yara deserved that comic win. Both took major risks with an unknown likely hetero audience and pulled it off with their writing and physicality.
Raja actually took on the irreverent “I’m a nerd who turns incestuous tricks for money with b.j.s on my dad, and even when he yells at me, I’m forgiving” persona.
Yara, fearless, pulled off an even more irreverent act you’re more likely to see at bars. And one that required alot of WORDS, not just boob humor (yawn).A trans dwarf bottoming for a guy she couldn’t understand and ending up with a 14 inch top, soiling the sheets and running away, referencing Willie Wonka’s Chocolate factory? Let’s see you “get “real” like THAT, DJ.