“What’s great about being gay is that you can celebrate all types of sexualities, because we understand that being queer means you might also be gender nonconforming or bi or whatever. For straight people it’s just, ‘I sleep with the opposite sex.’ Maybe just give it a go? Put some f*cking marijuana lube on your crystal butt plug and march on down the parade.”Olly Alexander speaking to OUT about why he feels sorry for straight people.
Related: Olly Alexander declares 2018 the year of the “Thirsty Selfie”; posts thirsty Speedo pic
Donston
Often times “queers” become obsessed with cis gender people who have no substantial passion, romantic interests and general fulfillment towards anyone but the opposite gender (if anyone at all). That’s particularly the case if someone is dealing with self-resentment, self-doubt, internalized homophobia, a frayed ego and/or hetero envy/worship. These types sometimes shield that with talk about everyone being more open-minded and free when it’s mostly about wanting persistent attention from “mostly straight” dudes. Based off all his remarks it appears he might be one of those types. Honestly, he seems to be the type that within the next eight years will be dating a woman and looking to have threesome with “straight guys” or maybe he’ll transition. Whatever, he’s still pretty young.
MonkeyMan
“Feels sorry”? Sounds like someone is bitter about falling for heterosexual men and being rejected.
Olly should realize that straight men can perform with another man just as little as he can with a woman.
And if doing it will all kinds of genders is as easy and fun as he makes it out to be, why doesn’t he hook up with females all the time?
Please show heterosexual people the same respect you ask from them. This is quite embarrassing and I feel sorry for Olly for being this ignorant and heterophobic!
Donston
I don’t know you if you were being sarc in the last part, but it’s hardly “heterophobic”. He wishes more hetero and “mostly straight” dudes would indulge “queer culture” and look to unabashedly sleep with and maybe even try out relationships with men. It’s more hetero worship than “phobic”. It reminds me a bit of when Tom Ford said all straight guys should try bottoming. Well, a decent amount of straight men do try. But his comments were less about open-mindedness and more about wanting to sleep with and get attention from Hetero or hetero-leaning men. Unfortunately, a lot of gay or homo-leaning men contend with this type of obsession, which at a certain point can be debilitating when it comes to self-worth and your romantic life.
Magiqua
Donston, imagine it was a straight male celeb saying that the only aspect to gay people’s identities is that they simply ‘sleep with the same sex’ and that’s like, sooooo boring- why not sleep with a woman every now and then to be more ‘inclusive’ and interesting/acceptable to straight people? Also that comment about butt plugs at the end is just needlessly vulgar and clearly designed to get a reaction. I am a gay women myself and just hate how the ‘queer’ community is becoming so intolerant and frankly bigoted against heteros and especially gays/lesbians who aren’t open to screwing around with everything that moves.
Donston
That’s the thing. As first glance it’s “intolerance”, but you look beneath that, and it’s actually driven more by hetero worship and/or self-hatred. Olly has talked about and sang about hooking up with and developing feelings for “straight guys”. He still clearly has an obsession going on. It’s sad that so many gay and homo-leaning people have such an obsession. In my life I’ve hooked up with a couple of dudes who said that they were “straight”. But why are you actively seeking out and trying to have relationships with people who don’t have unabashed passion, desire, romantic feelings, emotional connection, etc. towards you? It’s quite pathetic. You just have to hope he grows out of it. Otherwise, he’ll become another Morrissey aka a dysfuntional, self-hating “queen” (I had to put that in quotes because apparently “queen” is a no-no word on here now) who is so obsessed with “straight dudes” that he never has an authentic relationship.
zedus headus
I hardly think that the heterosexual community needs defended. And, maybe. just maybe, you are reading too much into a short quote. Olly Alexander is an out, proud and sometimes eloquent advocate for the GLB community. He is unapologetically who he is, represents himself in a very positive fashion and is a sympathetic spokesperson. It could be worse.
Magiqua
Donston, I can see the angle that you are coming at the argument from, and actually totally agree with you about the toxic culture of ‘hetero worship’ that affects many gay men.
But zedus, my point wasn’t actually about ‘defending straight people’, my frustration with Troye’s attitude is this new (ever-increasing over the past 5 years or so), overwhelming attempt by the mainstream (ie: young, ‘hip’) LGBT media to deny the validity, reality and worthiness of inherently ‘mono’ sexual identities by insisting that ‘sexuality is fluid’ (for everyone, especially lesbians) and being ambiguously ‘queer’ and open to sex with both men and women is somehow more liberal and ‘inclusive’.
My feelings really stem from the fact that this is something that is really troubling the lesbian community at the moment, as exclusively lesbian spaces disappear in favour of spaces for ‘queer’ women, whether that means. And the general attitude is that being a lesbian why is ONLY attracted to and open to sleeping with women is desperately uncool, somehow bigoted/close minded and sexually conservative.
The fact is, I have heard similar stuff to what TS is saying about my own sexual identity (‘loosen up, try something now, you might enjoy it’ etc) that I know how frustrating and belittling it is. So why should he be able to make such a blanket statement about straight men and their sexual identity, simply because he is an ‘out, proud advocate for LGBT’.
There are such a thing as 100% straight people, and they can be supportive allys without having to sleep with men and shove anything up their butt.
Donston
I actually do believe that most people fit within the spectrum somehow no matter their identity or lifestyles (I would guess at least 60% of the population). However, there’s nothing wrong with being 100% hetero or homo, and of course they exist. Just like there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you do have some inherent bisexuality or fluidity but that you have specific romantic and sexual preferences. It does seem as if people are trying to kill not only the idea of someone being monosexual but also the idea of that if you’re not completely inherently mono you’re not allowed to have distinct romantic and sexual preferences and you should walk around talking about bi/fluid/queer “pride”.
I also agree that insisting people be more open-minded and “loose” belies the very nature of the “queer movement”. It’s about living in your truth, being yourself and doing what you’re comfortable with. This way of thinking, this type of pressure, has actually only made it more difficult for people to be more upfront and more difficult for gay/homo/homo-leaning people to gain true self-comfort, self-understanding and actually acknowledge themselves. It’s also added to the obsession with trying to appeal to hetero/straight/straight-leaning people.
Zambos271
Lmao!! The shade!!
Biteme
Is marijuana lube a real thing?
Xzamilloh
It’s not shade if it’s true. Then it’s just blunt honesty.
Donston
It’s scary how obsessed a decent percentage of gay/homo-leaning men are with trying to turn out “straight guys” or obsessed with trying to get dudes to admit that that have some type of attraction to other men or can get some type of sexual enjoyment with guys. People can date and fvck whoever, and the spectrum is extremely wide and varied. Unless you have unabashed passion, romantic feelngs and satisfaction towards guys I just tend not to care all that much. I’m starting to feel in the minority camp as far as that’s concerned.
zedus headus
Years & Years have had more than one hit and have been successful internationally. Olly Alexander has also been an outspoken advocate for the GLBT commnunity. He also seems a pretty decent guy.
Donston
You guys are better off just getting rid of the comment section if every bit of criticism, negativity or just basic sarcasm gets deleted. The comment section needed cleaning up and moderation. But now, it’s just gone too far and has lost all its purpose.
radiooutmike
Can someone explain to me the fascination with straight guys?
I buried my sexuality mostly, so that is why I came out at age 48. Does it stem from being aware of your sexuality and accepting it when you’re a teen or young adult? Do guys grow out of it?
Donston
Th fascination/obsession seems to stem from a lot of sources. Most guys grow up surrounded by straight-identifying men. So, inevitably those are the types of guys they initially develop crushes on or even have their first sexual experiences with. But it also seems develop out of internalized homophobia, having a fractured ego that only attention from “straight people” can briefly uplift, having megalomaniac and narcisstic instincts (where you become hyper focused on feeling subversive and/or powerful and therefore, you feel as if you can seduce, sexually please or change anyone), having certain degrees of gender dysphoria, having some type of attraction to women and being turned on by hetero sex but not really having passion and sexual/romantic fulfillment towards women (this is especially the case if you’ve spent a certain portion of your life dating females and getting it on with guys on the side). Sometimes people grow out of it. Sometimes they don’t.