“It’s exhausting being in the closet. There was so much time and energy put into harboring that secret that I think it really took a toll on my mental health and I struggled with depression and at moments in my life, thoughts of suicide. I think for a lot of my career and my coming up in the sport, my mental health was kind of put on the back burner, and I feel like I was really compartmentalizing. I was not out of the closet. When I did take that stand and come out it was the best thing I could have ever done for my mental health. I thought it was gonna be, like, a thing that maybe it was a hindrance for my sport, and it was the exact opposite. My following year after coming out was my best season to date. I felt so liberated, I had a huge weight off my shoulders…I think that mental health is so important and I’m so glad that it’s something that is getting talked about more and more frequently now because it’s so important for everybody It’s especially important for LGBTQ kids who are at a much higher risk of self-harm, just because they do struggle to come to terms with themselves, ourselves, and the rate of suicide is so much higher.”–Former Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy, opening up to fellow queer sportsman Megan Rapinoe about his battle with depression over his sexuality. Kenworthy came out in 2015 after winning the Silver Medal in Men’s slopestyle at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi.
Donston
This is why when people say shit like “it’s 2020, no one cares” they end up coming off like myopic, privileged idiots. Yes, some people do shit for attention and validation first and foremost. But being legitimately “out” will always be important on a personal level. Concealing your personality, dimensions, passions, love, commitments to the world will inevitably lead to mental strife. While homophobia, internalized homophobia, hetero pressures/expectations have not just evaporated in 2020. On the same token, trying to force people out is almost never helpful. And we need to make sure we’re not selling “coming out” or embracing whatever identities as the cure all to queer trauma. A lot of folks who come out still have issues with depression and mental health in general, still have issues with not confronting past trauma, with gay insecurities, masculine insecurities, femme-phobia, addictions, fluidity, not being real with themselves as far as the romantic, sexual, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum. Everyone’s dimensions, struggles and journeys is their own. However, “coming out” or just being committed to being yourself and not allowing ego and sociology and politics to get the best of you is a big first step to a more easy to manage psyche.
glennmcbride
Unfortunately for some people coming out can mean losing a job, getting kicked out your home and shunned by friends and family.
Donston
I covered that by mentioning homophobia and hetero pressures/expectations. But the actual purpose of the post was to highlight that being “out” is still an important step for many. It shouldn’t be dismissed, as some try to do. However, we also shouldn’t be selling “coming out” or identities as things that fix all individual struggles and we shouldn’t be trying to shame people “out”. Everyone’s sociological circumstances and pressures are different, and it’s important to recognize that. Everyone’s orientation, sense of self, ego, general psyche and journey is so individual. So, pushing being “out” and pushing identity politics as the “cure all” is something queer media needs to stop doing.
Thad
I’ll love Gus Kenworthy forever for the anti-bullying ad he made with the Mets’ Pete Alonso
Josh447
This guy has been a magnificent role model for so many people, he’s just an awesome being. Clear and succinct he really lays out his situation with clarity and focus one can easily relate to.