In a new interview with PAPER magazine, Panic At The Disco’s Brendon Urie is opening up about his sexuality. And guess what? He likes guys! And girls! And people, in general!
“I’m married to a woman and I’m very much in love with her,” Urie says, “but I’m not opposed to a man because to me, I like a person.”
He continues, “Yeah, I guess you could qualify me as pansexual because I really don’t care. If a person is great, then a person is great. I just like good people, if your heart’s in the right place. I’m definitely attracted to men. It’s just people that I am attracted to.”
In 2013, Urie revealed that he had “experimented” in bisexuality but that he still identified as “straight.”
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“I guess, if I had to classify myself, I’d say I’m straight,” Urie said at the time. “But I have, in the past, experimented in other realms of homosexuality and bisexuality. Overall I’m more attracted to women. … It’s fun to dabble!”
Well, not anymore!
Speaking to PAPER, Urie says he longer identifies as straight. Instead, “I guess, this is me coming out as pansexual.”
Welcome to the family, man!
Related: Panic! At The Disco’s Brendon Urie Is Married To A Woman, Would Still Make Out With Ryan Gosling
Josh447
Haha reminds me of the line in the movie In and Out where Joan Cusack walks out of a bar after being turned down by gay guy Tom Selleck and screams “IS EVERYBODY GAY???!!!”
Donston
A man who’s married to a woman and seems to have opposite cis gender romantic and sexual preferences could never be “gay”.
Most people fit within the spectrum to some degree or another no matter their identity or “lifestyle”. And for a multitude of reasons, those percentages only goes up when it comes to people in the entertainment industry. That’s why moving away from being “label” dependent and talking more about your overall attractions and overall romantic, sexual and emotional fulfillment has become more of a thing. At this point simply saying that you have some type of attractions beyond one gender is like saying you know people who blink.
Greg
I bet he could.
Josh447
It was intended as a humorous metaphor, not a mental masturbation discussion about labels or kinsey style analytics.
Though those can be interesting at times.
sdterp
OK, Donson, how about “Queer?” As for the “post-label” movement, labels are a double-edged sword. While they can be used to oppress, subjugate and pigeonhole people, they also can build-up communities and give people common goals (and the ability to reach those goals as a group), a sense of belonging and unity. Labels got us through the AIDS crisis (that and a bunch of women with the label “lesbian,”). It’s this disdain for labels that have Queer establishments fading away because post-label people would rather go to just a bar than a gay, lesbian or Queer bar. You don’t realize what you’re throwing away. Rather than tossing the baby out with the bathwater, maybe you could fight to define what these labels mean rather than sluff them off to avoid others using them against you.
Donston
I embraced “queer” for a couple of years. But I realized that it ultimately doesn’t mean all that much to most people beyond not being an inherently 100% hetero cis person, and perhaps most of the population could fit into that. And for many it still just means “strange”. Honestly, I’m cool with “gay” at this point. I am a borderline non-binary, mostly homoromantic, cis male leaning pansexual. And I have no problem breaking that down if asked. But if viewed not as inherently homosexual but rather as having same-sex preferences and fullfillment and embracing that then “gay” is effective enough for me.
The problem isn’t the labels themselves but rather how people use them. “Labels” aren’t an issue as long as they’re not used to spew hate, manipulate others, shield nuance, shield self-resentment or force people into sociological bubbles. If we’re at a place of admitting that the spectrum is very wide and varied then being less label and cliche dependent is a neccesary evolution.
And, yes, Josh I understood your reference and your attempt at humor. I just didn’t think it was funny, especially since Brendon has been talking about hooking with dudes for many years.
Donston
It’s cool that more people are feeling comfortable being at least somewhat honest about their dimensions, though what he’s saying isn’t anything that he hasn’t already said. I just hope that he doesn’t try to use his “queerness” to revamp his career when he’s married to a female, likely has overall opposite gender preferences and likely has no real interests in for real being with anyone beyond a cis woman.
brickdr66
Cool
gonzo1
Ugh. All these labels are exhausting. I miss the days when we weren’t so defined by them. 🙁 Good for Brendon, though. I’ve always liked him. Super talented & hella cute!
Greg
Which days were those? When everybody was in the closet?
auburnalum01
I agree, it’s effing ridiculous. It’s just millennial BS.
Loki
Yet another case of bandwagon-hopping… I guess it’s hip and trendy now to have even the most tangential relationship with an “oppressed” group; it gets you extra SJW points (see: Mara Wilson).
Come back to me when you’re discriminated at work or denied an apartment lease, get stared at or called names while walking down the street and holding hands with your boyfriend, prevented from marrying said boyfriend, or adopting a child with your husband…
Donston
I agree to some degree. But hetero-leaning people who contend with contradictions within their orientation and/or sense of gender do have their own sociological and psychological struggles that should be acknowledged. And there shouldn’t be a problem with simply being honest. On the other end, he already said years ago that he had some attraction to dudes and had hooked up with guys before. I don’t really see any reason to push it even further unless you’re legitimately interested in being with someone that wasn’t the opposite cis gender. But I guess he wants to feel officially apart of the “club” and/or wanted some more attention for it.
Hetero-leaning cis people who only have legitimate opposite gender relationships are indeed starting to take up too much of the “queer movement” and “gay culture” and can sometimes feel more like leeches and self-victimizers and try-hards than anything else. While too many unabashed gay/homo-leaning and trans people are obsessed with them. But being straightforward about your self-truth should never be dismissed.
Loki
@Donston
The more I read about this person, the more I want to punch him in his smarmy face…
“The singer also discusses what he used to call his ‘stage gay’ persona, which he acknowledged has made some uncomfortable in the past.
” ‘For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan, our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth, and he would be so mad,’ Urie said. ‘ I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.’ I would hang out with friends and after five or six beers, we’re just kind of like smooching on each other. People just get hammered and fool around.’ ”
So he’s associating being GAY with being handsy and inappropriate, getting drunk and fooling around, etc.
Donston
Well, yes, the dude is a douche. That has been know for a while. And yes, it does seem like he’s using this re-coming out as a way to promote himself and new his projects.
Unfortunately, many still eqaute being “queer” with drugs and sex and partying and kink and having no responsibilites and being overall “subversive”. Even openly gay people have trouble with that perception. It’s one of a few reasons why despite being inherently pansexual I don’t fully embrace being seen as “queer” and have embraced “gay”. I also make sure people know that I have a husband and family. I have no issue with people who live up to the most extreme stereotypes. But you have many people like Brendon who fit everywhere on the spectrum that fetishize and/or condescend anything beyond conventional heterosexuality.
Donston
On the flip side, there’s also a decent amount of gay and homo-leaning people who fetishize, belittle and/or use hetero behavior and “lifestyle” for their own image and commerical benefit. So, I guess it all it what it is.
enlightenone
Sounds like a discussion for him and his “wife” pre-cheating if he hasn’t already! Otherwise, no real value, just more Hollywood PR spinning, that potentially will confuse teens.
mz.sam
Good for Brendon (at this moment) and I applaud his fence sitting…as long as he informs his wife of his revolving tricks. Btw, back in the day Elton John, Ricky Martin and others have vociferously proclaimed their bi-curiousness.
Donston
What is the point you’re trying to make with mentioning Elton or Ricky? Besides, guys like Neil Patrick Harris and his husband had flat-out relationships with women. Colton Haynes says that he hooked up with women when younger. Most gay-identifying men have had some type of sexual experiences with females and/or have some type of attractions beyond cis males. However, that’s very different than looking to have sex with someone and especially different from having romantic or sexual or emotional fulfillment with a certain kind of person. Also, I don’t really see any fence sitting. I highly doubt he has any interest in legitimately being with a dude, just maybe hooking up with one here and there and maybe not even that.
Donston
However, I will say that gay/homo-leaning men who know that they’re mostly interested in dudes and only truly want to be with a guy need to be more honest about having some type of dimension or fluidity, experience, curiosity, etc. It might help kill the pressures that very homo-leaning and straight-leaning people from dealing with as far as being told that they have to walk around proclaiming bi/pan/fluid/queer pride. It also might help alleviate some self-resentment and self-doubt and internalized homophobia homo-leaning men contend with.
gravityyaoi
Big whoop. Doesn’t change the fact he’s always been a gigantic jerk. I feel it is just more PR for him being in Kinky Boots or whatever. Get all the gays salivating so they’ll come see what I’m in because they’ll support one of their own. Call me when a celeb comes out when they’re not connected to a project at the moment.
Loki
Kinky Boots?! I knew he had to be hawking something… I just wasn’t going to click through and read that interview.
Did a quick google search. TBQH, I cannot recall ever listening to Panic at the Disco… all those early aughts pop-punk bands are a blur to me. The Variety article (on his “coming out”) has him draped in a rainbow flag a la Collin Martin of a few days ago…. SMDH
Loki
His band’s latest album dropped on June 22. Ugh.
Donston
Yes, his re-coming out is strategic. But I do think he has some legit pansexuality in his orientation (though that alone isn’t saying much). And in the interview he did acknowledge that he’s said and done some douche-y and shallow things in general but especially pertaining to homosexuality. However, he still uses cliches like: “I just like good people” and “gender doesn’t matter to me”, which is often code for I can’t be romantically and sexually satisfied with anyone or I’m very homo-leaning that doesn’t want to deal with being seen as gay and wishes to desperately retain heteronormalcy right now. He’s also another “queer” who claims to have dealt with substance abuse issues.
I just wish more of these people who come out as bi/pan/queer/fluid were more upfront about their real struggles and what’s really going on with them rather than depending on cliches and a bunch of fanboys and fangirls on Twitter to support them. And yes, wrapping yourself around a rainbow flag when you’re married to a cis chick and likely have no interests in changing that is somewhat disrespectful.
Jere
It’s no one’s business, of course, but I always wish celebrities who are going so far as to make statements like this would go a little bit further and spell out exactly what they mean about what their life experience has been. Instead of “I’ve experimented” say “I used to f-ck a dude now and then. I liked it.” Or “I’ve gotten sucked off by men in the past.” Or “I’ve had long term relationships with men.” Or whatever.
profiteering
Ya know, the vitriolic bitterness from some people on this site would be adorable If it wasn’t so tiresome. Our community, of all communities, should be the most understanding of the fact that not everyone falls within a simple box (and to the insinuation that this somehow means he is two steps away from becoming gay… grow up!). Props to him for living his truth! As far as I can remember (the first Panic! album I remember was when I was in college) he’s always been an ally. It’s time to stop listening to our community’s equivalent of carnival barkers and realize that we all win when everyone is free to openly be who they are.
Donston
People tend to be suspicious because they’ve been given many reasons over the years to be suspicious. He may have always been an “ally”, but he’s also said some incredibly ignorant and problematic things that would be perceived as homophobic if he weren’t considered an “ally”. Some tend to too easily overlook the dumb sh*t people say and do because they claim to be allies or say that they’re not 100% hetero. I agree about people being open and living their truth. But too many of these hetero-leaning celebs are not merely looking to simply be honest but are also looking to desperately attach themselves to “queerness” for commercial or image or ego or monetary reasons. That’s just a fact. Just as the bitterness is tiresome so are the constant cliches, evasiveness and corny phrases. Just as tiresome are the ways people shield internalized homophobia and/or hetero worship. It would be nice for a celeb who makes a big deal about coming out as something other than gay to be legitimately direct about their experiences, preferences and struggles and actually seem like a happy, self-comfortable person. Instead, we still mostly get cliches and evasiveness and awkwardness. And there are many disturbing reasons for that.
Just like orientation, sexual/identity politics is very complicated stuff.
profiteering
I completely agree that gender and identity politics are indeed complex, but you know what’s incredibly complex – this inane need that everyone seems to have to lock themselves in the past parsing every dumbass comment ever said. Of course people say problematic things, everyone does, but to obsess over them instead of turning them into teachable moments (President Obama’s “evolution” on gay marriage could indeed be “problematic” – but he got there) is a fools errand. People stay moronic things every day. It’s time we stop being butthurt by all of them. I’m not made of porcelain, and obsession over the things people say deflects from the nasty things some people actually do to that we should focus on (BLM, MeToo, hate crimes, etc). There are honest to Godney bad people out there, I’m more interested in stopping them than worrying about what someone said in an article when they were 18 years old. Seriously, who gives a sh!t? People can’t evolve? The circumstances of our lives change us. What also concerns me is how our community seems to create litmus tests for ally status, and we should be very VERY careful on what we use as qualifiers for thinking someone is marketing in “queerness” (How many of our own LGBTQ brothers and sisters trade in their sexuality for a commercial purpose? We could be here all night listing the ones from the past year alone). It’s OK for us to do it, but for someone who is – say pansexual- to do it has somehow crossed a line? Or someone who is bisexual? Are they not “gay enough”? Nothing is more insidious than hypocrisy. You are preaching to the choir about cliches, evasiveness, and corny phrases. I’m with you there. But when we get in the habit of tearing down someone for speaking their truth because somehow it doesn’t comport with our particular perspectives on what they should be? Nah. I’ve seen too much progress made (and so much more to do) to become a LGBTQ person who attacks members of our own community because they aren’t “pure” enough. That’s a slippery slope, much like bitterness and judgement are – and I just don’t want to play that game. But, excellent post that was well thought out! See, respectful discourse isn’t dead. You just have to push past all of the people who live in a constant state of butthurt. :p
Donston
Another thing that is tiresome is that the majority of people who say things like gender doesn’t matter, I can love anyone, I just like good people, I like different people’s energy- typically are people who primarily date the opposite cis gender the majority of their lives or never end up in a serious relationship with anyone. So, these phrases end up coming off more like shields so they can dip in and out of “queer life” when they feel it best suits them. That’s also not a good look.
I’m just sick of the cliches and the identity dependence that have come along in the Twitter age. If we’re at a place of acknowledging just how wide and varied the spectrum is then it’s time to be real about those variations. I am inherently pansexual, though gay identifying. My brother is also pansexual, though he’s mostly dated cis women and is married to one. If it was all about sex then I would have been fine just continuing to date women and wanking off to gay porn. So, I understand that there’s a ton of reasons why people end up dating and having sex with the people they do and end up doing whatever they do.
If you’re someone who isn’t transitioning and isn’t going to seriously date someone that’s not the opposite cis gender but still makes a big deal about coming out then actually add something to the “queer conversation”. Be more straightforward about your contradictions and fluidity and preferences. If you’ve said some homophobic or ignorant things in the past actually confront that and explain those things before expecting people to fully embrace you (something that someone like Nico Tortorella still hasn’t done). Be more real about mental health struggles, struggles with past sexual abuse or rape or internalized homophobia or hetero worship or misandry or misogyny. I just want people to actually contribute some insight, even if it isn’t pc.
No matter identity or lifestyle the dependence on labels and cliches have become (our word of the day) tiresome. Most people, even the most bitter and dismissive of people, usually respect individuals who simply keep it real.
batesmotel
He didn’t come out. Brendon Urie has always been vocal and open about his attraction for both men and women. He’s been saying this for years. Don’t know why it’s being treated like he just said for the first time. There are endless places he’s said it freely like it’s no big deal. This isn’t new news.