Earlier this week we ran a story about ‘g0ys.’
According to Urban Dictionary, a g0y (spelled with a zero not an “o”) is “a guy who finds men attractive, but for whatever reason is offended by the stigmas that currently define the ‘gay community’ in the public psyche.”
G0ys shun effeminate behavior because they thinks it’s “cowardly.” They also refrain from calling one another things like “girl”, “bitch”, or “queen.” But their biggest hangup is anal sex. They don’t believe in it because they think it’s a “violent act” that represents “the ultimate form of sexual disrespect.”
Related: Let’s talk about ‘g0ys,’ gay men who are so opposed to anal sex that they’ve created a little club
Naturally, this sparked a lot of dialogue among our readers. Not only did we receive tons of emails and tweets about it, but the post received almost 300 total comments and nearly 150 Facebook shares. Clearly, this is an issue people care very deeply about.
Let’s check out some of your responses…
A lot of people seemed to take serious issue with g0ys:
“This is just femme-phobia wrapped up in some BS concern about health,” one person wrote. “I mean, is there anything more snap-queeny than creating a group with a quaint little name and pissy little rules?”
“Just what we need,” another person added. “MORE DIVISION in a culture and community that already has too many sub-categories. ? We just can’t all LIVE our lives without being labeled with this or that.”
“Whatever,” a third person said. “Just another snobby group that somehow think that they are a superior type of gay. But they’re not. Once again, there is not different levels of gay, just different levels of narcissism.”
“Strange and completely backwards,” a fourth person commented. “Butt holes are the best! ???”
Others were less judgmental of the whole g0y movement:
“I think this is kind of neat,” one guy said. “I don’t subscribe to it entirely, but I actually don’t partake in anal sex often at all myself, but I’m weird.”
“If these goys are happy then who am I to judge?” someone else added. “Thing is, they may say they don’t do anal, but they probably would be calling me at 2 am for a booty call!”
“The amount of hate towards gay guys who don’t fit the mold here is staggering,” a third person noted.
Then there was this insightful perspective: “I’ve dated [a g0y] before. It was interesting. I honestly felt and we broke up cuz I made a joke about them being the new angry lesbian that thinks all sex is rape. That didn’t go well. I’m glad they are doing they’re thing that’s cool.”
Prompting someone else to reply: “The thing is I don’t understand how they think all sex is like rape though. I mean, sure, some guys don’t understand the meaning of gentle, but there’s a lot who do and can make it really nice and sweet to enjoy not just physically but emotionally. Regardless of what kind of sex you’re doing.”
But our favorite comment probably had to be this one: “I’m glad they’ve labeled themselves. It will make it easier to avoid crazy.”
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I wish there could be a sensible discussion regarding “sides” without the hysteria and name calling
Goy is a jewish term for a non jew.
eaning g0y is a non-gay? Sounds reasonable to me based on their ‘rules!’
It is a YIDDISH term for a non-Jew. And slightly derisive.
In Hebrew it means Nation. There is a division not unlike that made by the Navajo in terms of People and Nations. One might say “ha·le·lu et Adonai kol go·yim, sha·be·chu·hu kol ha·u·mim, .” meaning “praise the lord all of you nations, all shall praise him”, but in referring to Israel (as the Jewish homeland), one would say “Am yisroel chai,” meaning “the people of israel live.”
The two languages are quite different, though melded in modern times. Homosexual in Hebrew would be ??????????, a transliteration of the english word pronounced similarly. In Yiddish we would be referred to as Faygeleh (????????) which literally means “little bird”.
But this isn’t “goy.” It’a “g0y” with the number zero replacing the letter, ‘o]’ I guess that’s a not-so-witty way way to denote, “not gay”
Well, I guess I’m not welcome here since I don’t partake in anal sex, but I’m perfectly understanding that it’s what many other gay men want. I just don’t think it’s very mature to judge what other people may or may not be into. Someone may like their nipples zapped, or someone may like being tied up with rope and hung upside down, or rubbed down with honey while someone prances about the room singing Hello Dolly! whatever!!
If about 10 percent of gay guys don’t like anal, then big deal! Get over it. You can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do. It’s like trying to get a real straight man to sleep with you – it ain’t gonna happen.
Us gay folks in general have issues being just as bad if not worse than straight people about putting everyone into boxes and throwing fits if someone dares say they aren’t into something. There’s a bunch of activities you can do with another person to have affection and intimacy besides having it up one particular hole…
get over yourselves (those that judge)
It’s ok to not like anal, but these “g0ys” are expressing their dislike for it by using the old anti-gay right wing playbook. I’m surprised they didn’t use that old chestnut that gays have to wear diapers because of anal sex.
It’s obvious that these guys are more than just turned off by anal. They have some real issues about their sexuality and how they are perceived by others that aren’t gay. And as usual, use anti-gay rhetoric to try and set themselves apart from those “other” gays.
The g0y eschew from gay culture also.
Nobody is excoriating the “g0ys” for not liking anal sex, just an nobody would excoriate you for it. The point of contention is that the “g0ys” make stupid assumptions about the intrinsic nature of sexual acts, assume they are correct and universal, and then project them on everyone else.
MANY gay people never have anal sex, MANY heterosexuals do it all the time . The immature g0ys think their way is the only real and “healthy” way. That is the failure in their philosophy.
I’m tired of basing my opnions on little snippets of info. I need way more information about these gOys.
They should create an app for themselves, and call it HotGOYz or NoANAL or BlockBUTTs or something. Then you could sign up for it and get as much info as you wanted.
Check out their “ASSinine” web site as they would spell it.
Once again, liking or not liking anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Being masculine or effeminate or in between or a “regular dude” has nothing to do with orientation. Your politics has nothing to do with orientation. Who you hang out with socially has nothing to do with orientation. Rather you are monogamous or not has nothing to do with orientation.
Clearly, the problem with these “g0ys” is not their opposition to anal sex but rather that they see all anal sex as “violent” and are judgmental towards all men who engage in it, that they resent all effeminate men, that they offer more than a whiff of misogyny, that they equate “gay” to being slutty and shallow, that they are desperately trying to separate themselves from “the pack” rather than focusing on showing the variations and diversity among a demo and that they came up with a very stupid name to try and do so.
As usual, Queerty focuses on the sensationalism rather than the whole story.
Their web site basically says “phucking” is rape. Stupid!
Meaning g0y is a non-gay? Sounds reasonable to me based on their ‘rules!’
I though they were just homosexuals that don’t fk, but they gave themselves a new hip name.
G0ys bridge the gap created by gay and straight identity politics. They’re about uniting, not dividing.
Gay-identifying men are the biggest dividers. They divide everything into categories. Everything has to have a label attached to it. Making rules is what gay men do these days.
It’s refreshing to see the gOys challenge the authoritarian streak of gay men.
oh hun please.
You are entirely incorrect. Check out their website. They are gay men who don’t understand anal intercourse and think that makes them intrinsically more masculine and “healthy”. They think the only authentic way to have sex between men is frottage or mutual masturbation.
They are not too swift, and not at all inclusive of others.
Honestly, this reads exactly like Bill Weintraub’s “Frot Club” internet manifesto from the mid-2000’s. Basically, it’s a hyper-masculine, essentialist critique against what he perceives to be “gay culture” and justifies his dislike of anal sex with pseudo-scientific mental gymnastics that will make anyone’s eyes spin. I mean, cool if you don’t do anal but just admit it’s not your kink instead of trying to make it sound like it’s the worst thing in the world for everyone else.
Nipping at a man’s bun can be a lot of fun. Straight-identifying men especially enjoy having their buns nipped by other men. I knew a very straight guy once who would hook up with a guy for nipping.
That’s all he would allow – nipping. In every other way, he was very much into women – a real Casanova.
My point is that male sensual experience is a broad canvas. It defies rules, including the rules created by gay men . The g0ys are breaking the rules.
According to you you’ve never hooked up with a gay dude. A “real Casanova”. Heh. You’re such a pathetic, hetero-worshiping faag that I sometimes wonder if you’re a parody. But unfortunately, I know that even if you are there are many similar people that are really like that.
Also, as usual you miss the entire point of the discussion and go straight to defending anyone who doesn’t see themselves as “gay”. And yes, there are plenty of gay-identifying men who are not into anal. Just like there are many straight-identifying men that are. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with the type of sex you’re into. And you claim that gay men are obsessed with categorization when these guys are clearly just gay dudes who are simply not into anal, view themselves as “masculine”, wish to separate themselves from “gay culture” and came up with a silly name to do so. Thus, further categorization.
I so wish I could be a bottom. I just never learn how to overcome that horrible pain. But I am an passionate top…
Relax ….. on both counts (learning to bottom and being a passionate top)
It is quite amusing to see that Queerty has it’s finger on the pulse. I knew about this website about 6 years ago, it’s not new!
Yes, the whole thing is just an extension of “gay bro culture”. The site and the mentality is nothing new. Also, as usual, Queerty just copied and pasted reports and articles from other sites. If the name (and silly spelling) finally catches on it’ll be due to gay sites deciding to randomly talk about it.
Finally, resistance to the tired, trite, cartoonish, narrative that all gay men want anal penetration and to swish thru life in drag. Despite the best efforts of both gay and mainstream communities, gay men are NOT monolithic.
Agreed, but one of the biggest eye-openers of my life was walking onto Castro Street for Halloween 1986 and seeing a sea of men dressed up as women—women vampires, female zombies, movie starlets, mermaids, cowgirls, you name it—which was a pretty good indication to me that the vast majority of gay men have a deep-seated desire to cross-dress. One of the more off-putting experiences I had in SF.
The “violent” or “rape” idea is disturbing to me. What on earth happened to these guys that led them to this conclusion? You can make love via anal as well as other non-penetrative ways as long as your partner respects and cares about you. If you don’t like it for other reasons, so be it. But I’m not a victim for bottoming.
GOys don’t identify as gay, thank goodness. They’re just ordinary guys seeking out the sensuality of the male form.
The male form can be very sensual and does not subscribe to identity politics. Thank goodness that the g0ys are showing the way.
Gee, another article by Graham Gremore along his simple anti-lgbt topics.
This one isn’t about closet cases who call themselves “Straight”, this ones about gay guys who hate all things gay.
So they aren’t closet cases, they’re just self hating and have lots of baggage.
Mr DCguy the narrative that if don’t swish, speak with a lisp and have bubbles coming out of your ass then you are a “closet case” is unacceptable!!!
The eye-waveringly bad design and layout of the g0y website should be enough to tell you that they’re extremely faulty gays.
So does this mean that instead of Growler, their hook-up app would be called “g0yler”?
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