animal kingdom

SHOCK: Gay Penguins Harry and Pepper Split … Over a Girl

sfpenguins41

Proving gay relationships are just as susceptible to break-ups as heteros — even in the animal kingdom! — beloved gay penguin couple Harry and Pepper have gone their separate ways. The San Francisco Zoo pair, who joined up as adolescents, nested together as adults and together raised their own chick from an abandoned egg. And then entered a lady.

Maybe Harry is actually bi?

He’s dropped Pepper for Linda (pictured here with Harry), a widowed penguin known for quickly shacking up with new mates after ditching partners. And, evidently, getting her new men to attack their gay ex-lovers.

Enter the recently widowed Linda, who has long had a reputation of sorts, according to Brown.

Several years ago, she left her longtime companion and moved in with much older Fig just hours after Fig’s partner passed away, Brown said.

“That was the fastest we’d ever seen penguins move on,” he said. “To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving. She’s got her plan. I don’t think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long.”

This year, within weeks of Fig passing away in winter, Harry was seen in Fig’s old burrow spending time with Linda, Brown said.

Then one day, Harry and Linda approached Pepper’s pen and confronted Pepper. Harry began attacking Pepper violently and the three ultimately had to be separated, Brown said.

Harry and Linda successfully nested this year and eventually Pepper was returned to the penguin exhibit from a bachelor pad at the Avian Conservation Center, where he quietly took up his old residence. Zookeepers and fans are waiting with bated breath to see what might happen next.

“That’s the big question,” Brown said. “It’s molting season in late July and early August, and around that time we see couples getting shaken up. It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper. We’ll have to wait and see.”

Bill O’Reilly will be thrilled.

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44 Comments

  • sal(the original)

    bisexuals in nature too!!!!wowwy

  • SaintCahier

    Isn’t this fad of anthropomorphising animals bad for people AND for the animals ?

  • Fitz

    @SaintCahier: Totally. It limits our ability to understand them or ourselves.

  • scott ny'er

    that’s sad for Pepper. Harry seems like a big jerk.

    Harry can be bi and not be a jerk.

  • Tom in COS

    If we’re going to be anthropomorphizing these animals lets get real about it.

    Linda’s the gold-digging man-eating bitch of the flock.

    Harry’s the “confused” jock. He was just “going through a phase.”

    Pepper’s the love-lorn emo-twink. He really was in love with the breeder.

    This is better than daytime soaps.

  • REBELComx

    @SaintCahier: People ARE animals. Sometimes the best way to learn about our own latent and often misunderstood instincts is to compare them to other members of the animal kingdom.
    If you really want to stop anthropomorphising animals, take it up with Looney Toons and Disney…oh, and the Furries.

  • petted

    @Tom in COS: Linda’s also the home wrecker

  • Solis

    I just don’t think adult male penguins should have to stay in a relationship if they are not completely satisfied. Who are we to judge why Harry fell head over flippers for Linda? If I were Pepper though, I would file for full custody of the chick he and Harry raised.

  • galefan2004

    @Solis: I know its San Francisco, but I assume that the laws used for deciding the custody would be based off of California law, and unless that law changed in the last 10 years there is no way in hell a gay single father has a chance in hell of getting full custody away from a married partner with a wife.

  • TANK

    OMG!!!! THis is horrible! This is going to give both the insane bisexualists agenda talking points to assert that everyone’s bisexual and the religious nuts talking points by saying that sexual orientation is changeable! DAMNIT! Kill this penguis now. ALl of them. SHit…too late…it should have been carried out as soon as this happened before it had the chance to hit the papers.

  • TANK

    In other news, danny devito’s still with rhea perlman…go figure.

  • M Shane

    SaintCahier : anthropomorphising in this case and many turns out to be jest very often, but it is fun.

    I can say that when HIV came along and an attractive woman came my way I decided to try switching for a while. I dare say that she went rabid every time I even talked to a man. When I realized that my friends were going to be limited to those she approved and that this was generally the case, I decided I was never going to be happy with a monogamous lifestyle like that..

    But I can say at the same time that a cute but nasty little queen drove away my last girlfriend when I was younger; it was horrible. So while there may be no eternal turths in this it’s a great melodrama. Why do you think people like going to the Opera ?

  • dontblamemeivotedforhillary

    Was it for Lady Ga Ga (and only one ticket available?)

  • chris

    Linda! That bitch!

  • Gorbeh

    As usual…women the cause of all the problems…

  • Joanaroo

    Poor Pepper! But he’s better off without Harry…I get it-If you read this as a human story-Linda is a Republican mistress who is against gays and now will say sexual preference can be changed!

  • petted

    Maybe Linda’s drugging him? And was Fig really killed in that freak surfing accident? Find out next week as the Penguins Sin continues – or does someone have a better line for this something more Soap Dish?

  • Solis

    … in a world of deception and deceit; love and romance … the untold story of abandonment and survival … stay tuned for the premier of: “Memoirs of a Gayguin”

    … following the award winning documentary: “Lesbian Fruit Flies”

  • Mike

    Does this mean homophobia is a perfectly normal part of the natural world as well?

  • alan brickman

    This proves bisexual is a real orientation..Go Penguins!!

  • alan brickman

    A great soap..”The Passion and The Penguins”….

  • Mark in Colorado

    Pepper needs to be taught how to use a microwave. He could then disguise it as his new modern pad, invite that piece-of-shit Harry and his vile skank over for “dinner.”
    Pepper would only need to close the micro door behind them, select “hi” and hit the power button. Voila! Problem solved. Messy but effective.

  • Gordon

    @Mark in Colorado: Such an imagination – a bit frightful, but clever! I’d hate to be your worst enemy.

  • jon

    @SaintCahier:

    So, Is having no sense of humor.

  • UmakeMeePuke

    This is GREAT stuff. I hope the mentally decent opposition can introduce this into courts as evidence to forever bar sodomite custard-fuckerz from claiming they have so-called rights equal to people that DESERVE protection by right of their birth circumstances!
    Faggot is a CHOICE not a right. U smoke then expect to die. AIDS is [should have been] ur wake up call u stupid out-of-control cornholerz.

  • galefan2004

    @TANK: Danny and Rhita make an amazingly cute couple. Like old man old woman cute. Then again, you wouldn’t know anything about that because you consider anyone over 30 ugly.

  • TANK

    It’s rhea, not rita; like diar”rhea”.

  • galefan2004

    @petted:
    Will Linda, the slut of the town, take the hot and humble Harry away from the sweet and lovable Pepper? Will Pepper ever forgive Harry for the beat down he gave him over a slut? Will Linda get her nails done at Pacific Theater or Atlantic Freeway? Tune in next time to Another (Penguin) sea-World.

  • TANK

    That’s right, anyone over thirty is unfuckable. They need to tuck it in and act asexual for the rest of their gross looking lives. If Thatcher can do it, so can others.

  • galefan2004

    @Mark in Colorado: All I can say is, I’m glad they haven’t made a microwave capable of fitting humans into it yet.

  • galefan2004

    @UmakeMeePuke: Oooh girlfriend you doth protest to much! Either you are jealous because our hot men make your skank whore look even more nasty and you want to tap some man ass or you are simply mad that you are on the losing side of the argument. Either way, don’t hate appreciate.

  • galefan2004

    @TANK: I can’t wait till you reach 30 and experience the rush of hormones that come along with being 30. Its like being 13 again. You want to fuck anything that moves, car tail pipes, holes in the wall, anything you can get your hands on, hell the cats and dogs around you start looking at you funny and running away. It truly is a beautiful time of life.

  • TANK

    Wow. See you in ten years, erections…waving goodbye. Thanks for the images– you’re one classy dame. LOL! Thirteen must’ve been a very trying time for you and your family…and pets. Traumatic.

    Now, that’s no excuse. It’s worse than pedophilia for people of advanced years and looks to have sex. It’s morally wrong.

  • galefan2004

    @TANK: Thankfully I come from a very good gene pool. My parents still have a very active sex life (albeit with different partners) in their 60s. I know, that probably grosses you out.

    Worse than pedophilia you say? Poor, poor Tank, if you want help cutting your dick off at 30 I will gladly assist.

  • TANK

    @galefan2004:

    What the fuck is your damage? How would you know if your parents have a very active sex life? You’re a very sick man.

  • UmakeMeePuke

    @galefan2004
    The style of ur response leads me to presume that some sod violated ur tender ass while u were playing in the sand box in grade school, boo hoo. Oh well, now ur a sodomite too and that is what u must do to propagate ur form of insanity.
    I feel no empathy or sadness for ur condition, because u r no longer human having any sense of purpose for achieving a greater potential of the human spirit. U have resigned u r self to be nothing more than an anatomical receptacle for another shit pumper like ur self.
    Losing argument, u lost that the moment u let whoever rip into ur stupid ass. AIDS/HIV comes next. R.I.P. receptacle (Rot Into Puke)

  • TANK

    @UmakeMeePuke:

    SO you were violated/raped by a pedophile in grade school? So that explains your mental illness/psychotic groundless hatred and rage misdirected at gay people? That’s terrible. Just know that the violent rape that probably occurred over and over and over again, and countless more times in your nightmares and flashbacks wasn’t your fault, umake..it wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t the fault of gay people, either. Okay? I hope you find peace and forgive your rapist for relentlessly fucking you in the ass against your will…and for giving you hiv.

  • peter

    HAHAHA,

    There is no GOD judging animal behaviour let it be HUMAN!

    We only can watch and observe and never will see GOD and decide for ourselves what and or whom will bring us to orgasm.

    BYEEEEEEEEE politicians and clergians

  • galefan2004

    @TANK: Because I get to hear about it. I think you are the one with issues regarding sex if you think its that damaging to have your own parents talk about the fact that they still have sex. If your parents doing the nasty is that frightening to you then maybe you should ask yourself why you have such hang ups.

  • galefan2004

    @UmakeMeePuke: I am damn proud that I have had the chance to be dominated and to dominate. I am damn proud that I’m gay. Actually, you run just as high a risk of getting HIV/AIDS as I do because anyone that hates as much as you probably can’t keep an actual woman and needs to rely on those that walk the streets. You probably don’t even bother to use protection because you don’t think that straights can get HIV. Good luck with your stupidity. My partner and I are just fine being disease free, but seeing your bigotry is part of a disease ridden stupidity, I’m guessing you can’t claim the same.

  • galefan2004

    @TANK: Thanks for the defense. I swear, when you and I actually get on the same side of an argument no one really stands a chance on this blog.

  • peter

    @ TANK and @ GALEFAN2004

    I second and third your points of view!

    whenever you need me, just keep this thread in your mail and call me in!

    Take care, Peter

  • galefan2004

    @peter: Actually, this reminds me of something the very first gay man, other than myself, that I ever knew once said. He told me that they might not accept us but at least they realize we aren’t going anywhere. I was 18 at the time, and this guy hired me for my first job.

    I think a lot has changed in 12 years. People aren’t used to the notion that gay men can stand up for themselves and in many cases can be very violent and able to defend themselves.

    I’m also reminded of the Pink Posse in Queer As Folk and the whole storyline where Justin confronted his abuser and decided to let him live although he had him on the ground with a gun to his head.

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