Boob Man

Simon Doonan Doesn’t Like Man Boobs

Simon Doonan is still making the rounds with his latest book, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat. It seems he’s figured out EVERY angle possible to get soundbites—and now it’s about the over-development of male pectorals with excess fat. Yes, Doonan is obsessed with straight men who have fat titties. Last night on Conan he talked about his dislike of man boobs and even felt up Conan’s co-host, Andy Rickter, who would make many a chaser quite happy.

“There’s a horrible epidemic of man boobs, and I keep telling — people are clutching their man boobs now, I can see it…” Doonan said to the studio audience. “There aren’t fetish clubs for people who like man boobs. Man boobs are like hyenas, and mosquitoes, and red ants, and sharks. They don’t need to exist. They’re horrible. So I’m on a one-man campaign to rid the world of man boobs … A lot of straight dudes, they don’t really care, they’re, like, farting and watching TV, they don’t care about their man boobs. We need to make them care and explain to them, these, girls, right, they are unacceptable, am I right?”

We’re assuming that Doonan is conveniently leaving out all those bears who indeed do enjoy a man with a chunky chest. (And if you’re interested in someone with a memoir that does celebrate the full-figured guy, may we suggest you check out Kevin Smith’s memoir, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good?)