When you’re a video game designer responsible for a project that’s going to be marketed at teenage boys, there are some important considerations: What should the guns and rocket launchers look like? How realistic should the background atmosphere be? And most importantly: After deciding how big to make the lady characters’ breasts, how big should the dudes’ packages be? The general answer: These ain’t no Ken dolls.
Crispy Gamer put together 10 of the most, um, pronounced bulges in video gaming.
Above: Solid Snake, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
The King, Katamari Damacy
How about we take this to the next level?
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Fredo, The Godfather II
Chris Redfield, Resident Evil 5
Master Chief, Halo 3
Hulk Hogan, WWE Legends of WrestleMania
Marcus Fenix, Gears of War 2
Fawkes, Fallout 3
Matt Hazard, Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard
M. Bison, Street Fighter IV
rogue dandelion
those are pretty weak
dafrety
Some of those are almost convex…
Alacer
dude, don’t hate on Solid Snake’s junk. He’ll cut you.
Kevin
These are nothing. The absolute biggest package I’ve seen in video gaming was artwork being shown in the installation for the PC version of Spider-Man: The Movie Game. Spider-Man was flailing in the air with an explosion below him. Serious, serious boner, it was so lovely.
Mickey's mouse :P
bison has a FUPA….not a good bulge LOL
An Other Greek
uhm, if that’s a big bulge, you should take a walk in NYC on a warm day
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Chitown Kev
NOT!
mb00
@An Other Greek: REALLY?!!! I’ve never been to NY yet, but now you’ve given me an incentive to visit.
Chrystiano Nogueira
You has forgotten the King, from TEKKEN 3. The man with a tiger head has quite an interesting bulge =P
Kamil
These are bulges? Are you kidding me? lmao There’s nothing there, and some of em look pushed in lmao