We have a certain amount of respect for those inclined to upload videos of themselves, at home, rambling to YouTube. These folks are shameless, and hopefully know full well that nothing on the Internet ever gets deleted. And then comes along John, 27, username “fatboygetdown,” with this message to those leaving him comments asking him whether he’s gay. It’s not a terribly riveting monologue, but John is on our radar because, three weeks ago, he uploaded the video below, which has been seen more than 967,000 times, and now he’s a famous person. On the Interwebs.
… which, for obvious reasons, received more views than this personal message for Ellen DeGeneres.
Josh
Wow. Now, I can skip lunch. No appetite.
Fitz
!Que Lastimo!
Jason
Alex, I will take “Hideous Internet Fatsos” for $500.
Republican
Oh, but he’s so beautiful and comfortable in his body. And look at him work that outfit!
*Gag*
Let’s face it. Very few people on this planet would find this guy attractive. When you have a choice of that or this: http://i36.tinypic.com/2iw0v87.jpg , most people are going to pick the latter. Sorry if that offends, but it’s the fucking truth.
Before I’m jumped on for these comments, please realize that I’m not saying that the gay male community’s total focus on hotness instead of brains is a good thing either, but when it comes to showing off your body on an Internet video site, at least have something decent to show off.
Signed,
A bad gay who thinks it’s a crime when a gay guy tells one of his overweight fag hags that she looks good dressed like a stripper
YellowRanger
Oh wow. Jabba really let himself go after ROTJ.
terrwill
The sad part is this guy actually has a good looking mug! I wonder if he realizes that his heart is basicaly a time bomb ticking right now. They had a show on TLC recently about a 17yo kid who tipped (more like crushed) the scale at 450 lbs. After lapband surgery and getting down to 190lbs he was a hottie! Hope this kid gets help before his heart explodes……….And PS: his voice actually makes my new favorite tv gay boy Chris Colfer’s voice sound butch!!!
mojojojo
HE IS A HUGE HAM BEAST!
Republican
Terrwill,
That’s the main reason I’m not on the “big is beautiful” bandwagon that so many straight women and their gay buddies seem to be on. I think it’s easy for a person to say that, feel confident, and then not do anything about their weight. I don’t want people to be depressed, but telling them lies isn’t exactly helping things either. *Shrug*
Jason
This is Gay America.
Watch it and weep.
Mr. Enemabag Jones
Do overweight gay men who have manboobs give titty-fucks to their boyfriends?
MackMichael
Wow. My waist is between a 31 and 32, I’m fit, run and/or workout everyday, don’t use salad dressings, eat egg whites and veggies, and still I’m really sad to read the comments on here. Do you not think that this kid is not picked on, shot looks of disgust and disapproval, and judged every single day by average folks on the street? And still, a group of folks who I just have to believe have experienced harsh judgments at some point in their lives show no mercy at all for this young man. Why does he put himself out there? Likely, he has been completely objectified by society, a “fat thing” that people feel they can hurl remarks at as he walks by. Treated in real life with hostility and indifference, he finds a way to speak out about whom he is to people who would never give him a chance to connect, people who don’t want to know more about him, people who only wish to use him as a target of some slur or joke. He finds a medium that enables him to speak first about who he is, to make a laugh at himself before someone beats him to it, to attempt to empower himself.
How can we as gay men and women, how can we not feel enough empathy for this kid that we can’t show him some compassion. Do you believe that you are speaking some truth to him that he doesn’t already know? Do you believe that if you humiliate him to a great enough degree that somehow, your sage words, will save him from himself? Overweight people never lose weight and keep it off without first accepting and loving whom they are as they are on that very day that they decide to do something to help themselves live healthier lives.
Why oh why must be be so unkind? You want to tell the truth, a truth that can really lead to a change that you can believe in? Find a mirror, look at yourself honestly, look inside if your just too aesthetically perfect on the outside, and find your own imperfection, they take all the energy that you devote to critiquing another, whom you have no control over, and work on yourself, someone you have a world of control over, and make a change that you can believe in.
We need to concentrate more on coming together than tearing one another apart.
terrwill
@MackMichael: I 100% agree with you………however this kid chose to post videos of himself without a shirt online. He had to know that he would get a ton ‘o rude comments. Don’t shine the light on something you don’t want people to see…………….
Jason
@MackMichael:
“Do you not think that this kid is not picked on, shot looks of disgust and disapproval, and judged every single day by average folks on the street?”
OBVIOUSLY he had a gun held to his head when he made the BEP video.
Puhleeze.
If asshats, fat or no. want to be pointed and laughed at, I will allow them that small luxury.
Hal
Oh please, he knows exactly what kind of reaction he’s going to get.
It’s normal for people to be disgusted. It really is a grotesque spectacle. But at the same time, he clearly doesn’t give a f***, which is kind of awesome.
I only hope he doesn’t keel over from a heart attack. Being that big is not healthy.
Republican
Mack,
You say that they must first love themselves. That’s true, but there’s a fine line between loving oneself and thinking one’s own destructive behavior is acceptable. Some people make that first step of love without ever making the necessary step of changing what is wrong in their lives. (And I think he may be one of those.)
Ask yourself this: Is it really OK for this guy to be as huge as he is? No, it’s not. Not because he repulses some people, but because it’s not healthy for him and it may make a pleasant sex life next to impossible for him. If you were his friend, wouldn’t you want him to have the best life possible? I see nothing wrong with being brutally honest. He’ll probably attract more potential partners and live longer if he loses weight. Why is that such a bad thing to say to someone instead of supporting his lifestyle?
MackMichael
I was rather clear in my posting the reasons why this guy might put himself out there on video, and undoubtedly he knew he would face some hate. But, why do WE have to hate him? My posting isn’t about him, it is about us. What is it in us that drives us to be so judgmental and condemning? We judge one another, toss of bitchy remarks about one another’s appearance, cars, homes, relationships, etc. We are a frickin’ tough crowd, especially with one another!
“Is it really OK for this guy to be as huge as he is?” How many times are we met with people asking the same question about us: “Is it really ok for you to be gay?” “No, it is not,” is the type of answer that drives us over the edge. Does this kid live in a bubble? No. He knows he is obese, and he is already aware of the risk factors. As for sex, there was a documentary about overweight people on MTV–through its True Life series–and they had a very obese guy on that show, and when his boyfriend came on, he was a gym fanatic/muscle dude. He explained that he like fat guys.
As for why is it such a bad thing for you to say the truth to someone instead of supporting his life style, well then, I suppose we deserve to have folks vote on our civil rights, because we aren’t going to win that argument on the “this is not a choice” platform. We are only going to win those rights through, “we are consenting adults who have every right to choose to love whom we love” platform.
I’ll tell you what, in the spirit of honesty, lets just be really honest then…you all are a bunch of sanctimonious, self righteous, individuals cut out of the exact same cloth as the religious zealots who verbally oppress us.
So, let me repeat: yes, he put himself out there, and knew full well he’d bet lots of incredibly cruel remarks tossed his way. The real question is why should it be you who so easily and callously shares those hateful remarks with him. Not enough hate in the world? Just doing your share? Is it just too tough to try to be a more compassionate and kind human being, or is choosing to walk the same path as those who call us Faggots on the streets, people like the Phelps clan or Maggie Galleghar, just an easy choice to make?
Okie
He’s been on Dr Phil too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGGtTMcQc6M
Republican
MackMichael,
While I agree that there are similarities between sexual orientation and obesity in terms of how some in our world view those who are different from what the majority considers to be normal, I think an important difference is that there is nothing inherently unhealthy or life-shortening about being a gay person who is fine with his orientation. Yes, you can get caught up in the drug scene or sleep with the wrong guy or whatever, but those are behaviors that are certainly avoidable. An out and proud morbidly obese person who doesn’t try to change, on the other hand, is cutting his life short, quite possibly by a significant number of years.
As for us, I do think that many gays are too catty. We constantly criticize people for their fashion, looks, etc., even if those attributes have nothing to do with the topic at hand. But the difference here is that he is putting his body out there in quite the extreme way. If he didn’t have the shirtless dancing vid and was just talking about politics, religion, science, whatever, then fine, I’d say leave him alone, but he made a choice to expose himself, and unlike you, I think that opens him up to criticism.
MackMichael
Unlike me? I said that it certainly did open him up to criticism, and I added that it was quite likely that he knew he would be criticized; so, there is no disagreement between you and I there.
I can understand that the years upon years of being the object of jokes and cruel statements by schoolmates, strangers, and possibly even family might make him motivated to do something so out there that it actually provides him with a sense (misplaced as it is) of empowerment. When you are overweight, when you feel insecure, when others laugh at you daily, there is a great sense of control to beat them to the punch at laugh at yourself first.
What I don’t understand in a world full of people so ready to judge others, to condemn, to let the cruelest of words slip casually from their lips, why anyone would wish to ad their voice to the vast chorus of the cruel and bitter masses, the ordinary, the most common among us, those who so easily condemn us.
By the way, know your enemy. What do the social conservatives and religious fundamentalists say about us? They say that we are “inherently unhealthy [our lifestyle] life-shortening… A practicing homosexual who doesn’t try to change, on the other hand, is cutting his life short, quite possibly by a significant number of years.” That is what they say. And I have seen all the arguments on here about those who are overweight, and there is no dearth of opinion among the posters here, nor is there in science, where they are discovering that some folks are just predisposed to be overweight….just as some are predisposed to be gay. There is no definitive answer yet about this, just as we haven’t yet heard one about what makes us homosexual.
…and, besides, if it was our choice, the it is our right. Maybe it is his to be what he is. Meanwhile, for whatever reason he is overweight, it might be a good challenge for us all to try to be a bit more gentle, a bit more kind, to offer the type of consideration and understanding that we so wish others would grant us.
genial
It was disrespectful to ask -that- question.
But if he ever had any self respect he would refrain from becoming a cam whore.
Fitz
It is very sad. At his current weight it doesn’t matter if he is gay or straight. You couldn’t find his dick or ass unless you roll him in flour. Is body image and rejection of the not-perfect stupid in the gay community? Totally. But this isn’t a chunkster who is ok with an extra 25 lbs. This is someone who is going to die after a short, painful, expensive and unproductive life. His laughing at it is an attempt to join the crowd, even if it is with his as the butt of the joke. The small good news here is that this shows that he WANTS to be one of the living. I don’t know how or if he will get there. The statistics are stacked way against him.
Jason
Does he sweat cottage cheese?
jo ha me
actually, why is it disrespectful to ask that question? i feel like, if some one is really interested, not asking would be kinda bad. unless someone is asking to be nasty about it, asking if someone is gay or not should be totally ok. actually, it seems like good etiquette. I think only the unenlightened straight male would take offense to that question. Not asking seems kinda voldemort, he-who-should-not-be-named-ey. i dont agree with this kid…”why would someone ask me something in a way that would normalize it and possible show how comfortable with me they are by asking.”
also, i dont think he is as comfortable in his body as many of the people here are suggesting.
well, cheers to him for posting his opinions online though, he probably knew he wold get a lot of flack for it i suppose.
GeoffM
@MackMichael: I like how you think. I’ve been on both sides of the fat/fit coin after a herniated disk at 25, and while I was never close to being as big as this kid, I do have some empathy for him.
jojococoa
i made a video response to him. let me know what you think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3XIKhQFkUs
Jaroslaw
The answers to some of the questions are quite simple – it is the same reason we give to charities, or pity the poor (insert leper, toothless, homeless etc.) person.
1. It means to many, not all, subconsciously “thank goodness that isn’t me, that I’m not in that situation!”
2. It helps (many of us again not all) to feel superior – look at him, I’m a bit overweight, but not like HIM.
GeoffM
@jojococoa: Sweet response to him. Good job.
Yuki
@MackMichael: The thing is, it’s inherently unhealthy to be obese, for the most part. Yeah, some people are definitely predisposed to it, but I’m fairly sure I’ve read that obesity tends to link to things such as heart disease.
While I think the videos are gross and I dislike this guy, I’d personally recommend he try to lose some weight through exercise (or if it came down to it, surgery) just so he’d have less of a risk.
MackMichael
@Yuki: I’m certain that he would not disagree with you, and I’m not saying watching what one eats and getting plenty of exercise isn’t great advice–indeed,it is advice I follow myself. Also, science is discovering all sorts of new information regarding obesity, its causes, its affects, as well as possible new roads to reversing those affects, if not entirely eradicating the condition altogether. There are some parallels in our quest for respect and tolerance in society. While a definitive cause for obesity has not yet been determined, the determination for sexual orientation also has yet to be discovered. It may be that both are complex characteristics that involve a combination of nature vs nurture.
I, for one, am a blissfully happy gay man. I don’t want to be a heterosexual, and (frankly) I’m not so certain that I really want to know why I am homosexual–I’m just grateful that I am. Now, the religious right, the social conservatives would tell me that I’m unhappy, that I lead a life that is a culture of death, that I’m mentally ill and sick, no matter how many times I repeat that I’m perfectly happy. I don’t care what these people say, because I find them to be warped, politically oppressive, religiously misguided and ill informed, uneducated, callous, lacking in compassion, and overall really bad people.
Therefore, it really pains me to see my own gay brothers and sisters behave in a similar way to another. We often do so to other members of our community, tossing off bitter and mean spirited remarks to men who are not “masculine,” to gay guys who are over 40, to men who are not just obese, but those who are merely overweight. If you don’t believe me, read some of the threads on this site. A photo of a shirtless athlete might be posted, and his body might not be absolutely cut, and the remarks fly, “he’s fat,” “he’s pudgy,” “ewww, put the shirt on.” In our community, it has almost become sport.
We needn’t be so condemning and cruel to folks. Much of what was written about this fellow within this thread is verbatim what is written about our own lives. I love my community, I love my people, I really do. I love our humor, our resilience, and our diversity. I just wish to challenge us to be better than those who judge and oppress us. It is one thing to be constructive in providing feedback, it is another to be cruel and condemning. I think we can do better, and benefit our own community by doing so.
That’s all….I’m not suggesting that anyone advocate an unhealthy lifestyle, I’m suggesting that opinions be constructive and tempered, so as not to be construed as cruel.
Kian
@Republican: You seem to assume that you’re the one who thought up telling the kid that he needs to lose weight. I’m sure he’s heard it so many times in his life that when he does hear it from someone, he wants to squash them, literally. Your comments serve to only justify your put downs, not to help him, as you profess to care about. I call bullshit!
MackMichael
@GeoffM: Thanks, Geoff…your empathy is admirable and refreshing.
jwalker666
@Jason: your comments are awesome…
Jaroslaw
JWalker666 – great sense of humor.