The Welsh Rugby Player’s Gay Sex Tweet Wasn’t Homophobic. It Was Just Crass. There’s a Difference

NFL star Larry Johnson gave Americans one of their first Twitter tastes of fag-bashing via 140 characters. And now Welsh rugby forward Jonathan Thomas, of the Ospreys, is giving the United Kingdom its own taste of scandal by tweeting a gay sex joke to a teammate. It’s been deemed homophobic, and Thomas apologized and deleted the tweets. Oh, who fucking cares.

“Legs and ass are in bits, can’t move,” tweeted teammate Ian Evans. To which Thomas posted in reply: “U gotta stop hanging round with Nigel Owens!” Owens is a Welsh rugby referee, who came out in 2007. The tweet was followed with: “For those ppl [people] who got the wrong end of the stick… it was from our savage training day yesterday, sorry about my friend fellow ppl.”

That was followed by a lengthier statement: “Nigel is a great friend of mine and there is absolutely no way I would say anything to him or about him publicly – or indeed privately – which I thought he would find personally offensive. There is no malicious intent in this message whatsoever. This was some childish banter between friends and I did not think for a moment that there may be other people out there reading it and/or taking it in the wrong way. “I made a very silly comment to something else that was written, but nevertheless, I would like to apologise to anyone who is or was offended by it. I have spoken to Nigel this afternoon and, as I knew at the time of writing, he is not offended and he remains a very good friend. I have now removed the offending comment and will be much more conscious of distinguishing between private jokes and what can be said in a public forum in future.”

Britain’s go-to mouthpiece, activist Peter Tatchell, complained: “Homophobic tweets are just as unacceptable as similar outbursts on blogs and message boards. This is not what we would expect from players such as Jonathan Thomas. These remarks are particularly disappointing as they come just weeks after Jonathan’s former international team-mate Gareth Thomas came out to such public acclaim and admiration. Many of us expected and hoped that this was a turning point and that Welsh rugby could kiss goodbye to homophobia. Sadly, Jonathan’s proved us wrong.”

For his part, Owens, who is friends with Thomas, says the tweet was “probably just tongue-in-cheek, something they said without thinking about it. If it had been other players that I didn’t know so well then maybe I might think, ‘Hang on a minute’, but with those two there’s definitely no issues.”

Indeed. And even if Owens didn’t know the players, we hasten to say this is an example of “homophobia.” At best, it was a rude sexual remark about a league official. It just so happens, when two men have sex, one partner often inserts his penis in the other man’s anus. If they have lengthy, vigorous sex, the receiving partner might indeed describe his ass as being “in bits” (if the receiving partner speaks in British slang).

This is akin to a woman joking with a lady friend, who complains of “not being able to walk,” remarking that she should “stop hanging round with” a well-endowed man. That wouldn’t be a “heterophobic” joke; it would be another crass sexual joke. If we’re striving for equality, guess what? The way we have sex gets to be a punchline. And not only is it perfectly okay, but it’s nothing to get riled up about.

In fact, let’s take pride: The way gay men have sex can leave a burly bloke bent out of shape for days. If that’s not a showing of machismo, we don’t know what is.