It was just a regular day on the social media site formerly known as Twitter… until someone drudged up a debate about safety and promiscuity in the LGBTQ+ community.
And went as far as implying that Grindr should be… illegal?!?
Oh brother, here we go again.
It all started with a critique from queer user @princeoflaos, who said it was “a predatory app and should be taken down.”
(To be fair, the app has acknowledged concerns around privacy for its users and encourages users to “[keep] communication on Grindr until you’re completely comfortable” in its safety tips.)
However, things really got heated when @pabeilon –– a presumably female user whose avatar is a picture of Justin and Hailey Bieber, might we add –– chimed in.
“No bc how is it legal to have an app where you can meet up with random men to have sex at like 3 am? This doesn’t sound weird to y’all??? How is this not a safety hazard?” she wrote.
As of this writing, the post has been viewed more than 1.5 million times.
In no time at all, Gay Twitter X arrived to fight for our little orange demon app –– and more importantly, our right to have sex whenever and with whomever we want.
because it’s legal to meet people and have sex with them, at 3am or any other time, happy to help
— seosamh 🇵🇸 (@dayglowj0e) December 11, 2023
It’s sexual liberation sis I’m sorry you are still repressed. Let people do what they want
— pumpkin spice enema (@keeganc15) December 11, 2023
I've made more lifelong friends on Grindr than I've arranged hookups. And in my experience you're far more at the mercy of predators you meet in clubs, bars, etc than you are on dating apps. It's not perfect obviously but it's also not the Wild West either
— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) December 11, 2023
Furthermore, the post seems to ignore the fact in a world of presumed heterosexuality –– where queer sex and dating are still stigmatized –– meeting potential partners online is one of our most practical (and, ironically, often safest) options.
According to Pew Research Center, 51% of gay Americans have used a dating site or app, with 34% of that population reporting they’ve tried out Grindr.
In fact, nearly a quarter of partnered LGBTQ+ adults under 30 met their significant other via app. Additionally, 61% of queer people reported having a “somewhat positive” or “very positive” experience dating online.
And not to state the obvious, but gay people have been chatting online (and hooking up IRL) waaaay before Grindr’s invention.
People used to find hookups over chat lines where you'd leave a voice message and wait for someone who was into what you had to say, to call you. You could even use a pay phone for it if you didn't have a phone. People have been messy since forever, gen Z didn't invent this.
— Punky Brewster (@xLAWx_) December 14, 2023
Craigslist, adam4adam, manhunt, gaydar, gay . com chat rooms, AOL chat rooms, phone chat lines, bath houses, etc. It’s always been around. Grindr can shut down right this second and it will easily shift somewhere else.
— Madonna Nation ❌ (@MadonnaNationX) December 13, 2023
Unfortunately, the debate harkens back to an apparent rising anti-sex sentiment amongst Gen-Z, who have been dubbed “puriteens” and “the most prudish generation.”
While this type of social-media discourse is likely innocuous –– if not annoying AF –– it’s also reminds us why we have to keep defending landmark cases like 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas (which ruled that “sodomy laws” were unconstitutional).
Alright, we will admit it: Grindr is not perfect.
And while there may be a conversation to be had around the dangers of sexual addiction and hookup culture in the LGBTQ+ community, outlawing these apps is not the answer.
Furthermore, there’s no requirement to “meet up with random men to have sex at like 3 am” in the Being Gay Handbook. But if that’s what an adult wants to do, we say “Go awf sis.”
Also, we probably should leave it up to actual gay people to broach these topics. You’ll understand when you’re older, OK?!
Check out more responses from the LGBTQ+ community on social media below.
We just banning “you up?“ texts too? Stay out of peoples personal business and privacy. If your friends are sex addicted, refer them to a therapist but wishing it was illegal isn’t gonna help them at all
— Bidi Bidi Dad Bod (@SprigJotito) December 13, 2023
This person is probably one of those who cries when there’s a sex scene in movies or tv shows 💀
— wouldst thou like to live deliciously? (@ElBlackPhillipp) December 13, 2023
sfv1971
Twitter? Really?
decrans
Gen Z is becoming more conservative. Remember when gay liberals crowed about the younger generations saving us from the dinosaurs? That plan sure backfired like clockwork.
Kangol2
Not all of Gen Z; most are far more progressive than earlier generations, Detrans. You’re the one who’s become reactionary. Project less, pay attention more.
decrans
Notice I used the word becoming. Just this month, your frequently cited source MSNBC bemoaned the increasing support of Trump among Gen-Z on a Morning Joe segment. Becoming. A keyword.
RIGay
“I found everything I think is true on the Internet. So there!”
Humanity is at it’s end.
Invader7
Oh no ! Another delicate Gen XYZ’er who can’t handle the modern , 21st century !!! Deal with it !!
bachy
Unlike one of the X commenters above, I don’t think Gen Z has been “sheltered.” The Gen Z cohort was way over-exposed to internet porn from a very young age. It’s unfortunate, but it has probably made them more than a little warped when it comes to sex.
Rereading that before posting, I wondered: aren’t we all a little warped when it comes to sex? It’s one of those phenomena that will never fit neatly into any of our tidy little ideological boxes.
Thad
I’ve come to Grindr very late and just don’t get it.