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This Is How the Millionaire Matchmaker Sets Up Rich Older Gays With Cute Younger Gays

Because The Millionaire Matchmaker host Patti Stanger looks like a drag queen, she believes she’s entitled to traffic in gay stereotypes. Or maybe it’s because her show is hosted on the network named Bravo, which, as a business model, traffics in gay stereotypes? Either way, on last night’s episode, she attempted to fix up two wealthy gay clients. Cue the twink.

First: Snaps to the blonde trans(?) applicant who called out Patti’s own, uh, looks. Dish it out? Take it, girl.

These guys are interviewing to be paired with Smike Wallen (that’s his Facebook photo), a new-age-y type who cashed in via the real estate market, and wants somebody younger than he, and because he is wealthy is is entitled to his pickings. Great! Well, we didn’t watch this thing, so let’s allow Reality Wanted to clue us in:

Smike seems mostly into these dudes for their looks and bodies. But he surprises us by not picking the guy who showed off his abs. I was sure he was going down that road. In the end, he sides with Patti and picks the seemingly nice Chad.

Time for the big dates!

Smike wants to show Chad who he is (one with nature), so they start with a hike. Smike continues to talk about being one with the planet, but shuts up in time for a picnic and talk of horoscopes. More horoscope talk? Chad seems into it. There’s lots of innocent flirting going on with both guys leaning in a lot. No one makes a move, though. Next up is spa time for the boys. They hop in a tub together, then get a couple’s massage. I think Smike is smitten.

The date ends with a champagne toast, overlooking the ocean. It looks like this seals the deal for Chad. He’s definitely impressed. And finally, a kiss. Things seems promising for these two. Then again, it’s so hard to tell. Chad might get on the phone with Patti and tell her he hated Smike.

[…] Patti calls Chad and finds out that he is quite pleased. Smike visits and the feeling seems mutual, until we find out that he’s about to leave for Australia. Patti tells Smike to cool his jets on all the travel so he doesn’t miss out on Chad. Smike appears to heed the advice. […] Smike kept in touch with Chad during his trip to Australia and they are still seeing each other today. A happy ending…in the short term, anyway.

What’s this? Two men go out on a first date and do not end up having sex with each other? Maybe Millionaire Matchmaker is, in fact, responsible television!