This Is How the Millionaire Matchmaker Sets Up Rich Older Gays With Cute Younger Gays

Because The Millionaire Matchmaker host Patti Stanger looks like a drag queen, she believes she’s entitled to traffic in gay stereotypes. Or maybe it’s because her show is hosted on the network named Bravo, which, as a business model, traffics in gay stereotypes? Either way, on last night’s episode, she attempted to fix up two wealthy gay clients. Cue the twink.

First: Snaps to the blonde trans(?) applicant who called out Patti’s own, uh, looks. Dish it out? Take it, girl.

These guys are interviewing to be paired with Smike Wallen (that’s his Facebook photo), a new-age-y type who cashed in via the real estate market, and wants somebody younger than he, and because he is wealthy is is entitled to his pickings. Great! Well, we didn’t watch this thing, so let’s allow Reality Wanted to clue us in:

Smike seems mostly into these dudes for their looks and bodies. But he surprises us by not picking the guy who showed off his abs. I was sure he was going down that road. In the end, he sides with Patti and picks the seemingly nice Chad.

Time for the big dates!

Smike wants to show Chad who he is (one with nature), so they start with a hike. Smike continues to talk about being one with the planet, but shuts up in time for a picnic and talk of horoscopes. More horoscope talk? Chad seems into it. There’s lots of innocent flirting going on with both guys leaning in a lot. No one makes a move, though. Next up is spa time for the boys. They hop in a tub together, then get a couple’s massage. I think Smike is smitten.

The date ends with a champagne toast, overlooking the ocean. It looks like this seals the deal for Chad. He’s definitely impressed. And finally, a kiss. Things seems promising for these two. Then again, it’s so hard to tell. Chad might get on the phone with Patti and tell her he hated Smike.

[…] Patti calls Chad and finds out that he is quite pleased. Smike visits and the feeling seems mutual, until we find out that he’s about to leave for Australia. Patti tells Smike to cool his jets on all the travel so he doesn’t miss out on Chad. Smike appears to heed the advice. […] Smike kept in touch with Chad during his trip to Australia and they are still seeing each other today. A happy ending…in the short term, anyway.

What’s this? Two men go out on a first date and do not end up having sex with each other? Maybe Millionaire Matchmaker is, in fact, responsible television!

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  • TheInsider

    Add another embarrassment to our community. And straights don’t get off the hook as well. Why, with all their money, these people have to go on TV? Ah, because they crave the attention. It’s all phoney, all scripted, self-absorbed and narcissistic. Is Bravo our friend? Ummm, me thinks not. Any show that comes from that network makes me cringe. I

  • zenflo

    By admission, I am a Bravo freak. I do watch Millionaire Matchmaker, and the inclusion of gay clients is certainly added fun.

    I get the creeps, tho, when Patti herds all the candidates into the meet-and-greet and they circle her clients hoping to be picked.

    It’s that moment in every show where I’m reminded how astoundingly vulgar the premise of MM is, as much as it’s so often a part of real dating life.

  • benlayvey

    If you are young [ I’m ] and looking for a relationship, older men are your best bet and miles better if they are financially secure. They actually help you plan your life accordingly so you do not end up another pathetic statistic. Or good luck finding a Bel Ami-type guy who actually wants a quiet Friday night lounging at home with you. Chances are their attention span is not so great.

  • David

    “Smike” – this is how “Mike” is pronounced by a drunk.

  • Erv

    I thought the millionaire was 41 and the choice was 38? it was the hetero that wanted the 20 year difference… At least our guy saw something more than age, and that was after seeing the hot abs on a twenty something. Our boy chose someone close to his age and that is a rare sight on MM. So, as much as I am ashamed to watch and still do, the gays have a better record than most.

  • Luke

    Actually it’s not all scripted. A family friend was one of the guys on the show at the end of last season. He doesn’t have time to date, so he used their service to find possible matches (better than or whatever). They dated for a time, but it didn’t work.

  • ctSF

    I’m tuning out the show. It was decent last season, but this year is a bunch of sensationalist circus freaks. And Smikey is indeed an embarrassment to both the gay and new age communities. Did he actually say he was impressed that his date was concerned for the environment? Who the hell isn’t these days? It’s in every headline. It’s become part of our culture. Idiot.

  • scott ny'er

    @Erv: You are right. Those were the ages. It was a sweet story and they looked like they had good chemistry and some common stuff.

    the other story was better tho. With the won’t let his date talk director. That dude was picture perfect of the egotistical, know it all, well made man.

  • terrwill

    “This Is How the Millionaire Matchmaker Sets Up Rich Older Gays With Cute Younger Gays”

    ….. When I read that headline on this thread, I thought when I clicked on it I was going to see a pictures of hundred dollar bills……… : P

  • Swimmer - Chicago

    Drek. Pure Drek!!!!

  • HiredGoons

    The music is hilarious.

  • Sam

    Is it just me, or does naming your child “Chad” triple the chances he’ll want to suck dick when he grows up?

  • Jordan

    The blonde “trans”, (my boyfriend) goes by the drag name Detox… you might remember posting about him a few months ago… he was the drag queen who shared the stage with that Kim Zolsciak mess, dressed as a drunk Kim and singing “Tardy for the Party” ( ) … The Matchmaker show isnt scripted, it was like going to an audition for a show, which turned out to be the dating interview… and instead ripped Patti a new one, and asking what everyones been thinking anyway… “Youve been through a sex change right?”… telling Patti she was a tranny, and that he just wanted a millionaire for his plastic surgery addiction and was actually becoming a woman. Its was comedic value and It was great TV, he went, had fun, got some free drinks and ended up making a boring show at least a little watchable by skewing the host… The saddest part is he let Patti have it, and they cut out the best insults for the sake of keeping Patti embarrassment free on her own show… even tho her bangs and second chin are embarrassing enough.
    …You can also see Detox in Rhianna’s “Disturbia” music video, The video for “backstabber”, (one of Ke$ha’s upcoming singles) and the music video for “Undead” by Hollywood Undead (directed by Jonas Akerlund) And he performs mostly in Los Angeles, hollywood and west Hollywod, CA several days a week, including his own show Sundays in WeHo at Hamburger Mary’s. He’s old school drag with new school attitude, and is always the center of attention when he walks in the room. If you think detox is just something celebrities do on weekends, then go to or find him on facebook and twitter, WorkBitch!

  • fredo777

    @TheInsider: Yawn. Bravo has put out some seriously entertaining shows: Flipping Out, Project Runway (originally), + Top Chef among them.

  • straightpeople rules10

    this is a complete disgrace to this country Gays,Lesbians,Bisexuals,Transsexuals are you kidding me who invented the word homosexual anyway it is gross and evil. Sorry Staright Rules

  • Patti Stanger

    I am NOT a tranny.

    I just come from an awful and deprived background. My set ups have nothing to do with love and are all about packaging “shikshas,” usually non-jewish women for auctioning to men. Where some people come from, this is called p*mping. On Bravo tv, it is also depraved and disgusting. What can we say, we’re jewish and we look down on all of you!


  • Bobby G.

    Ohh Pattiiiii, ha ha ha ha ha.


  • Sam

    Patti, I wouldn’t let you match my socks! XD

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