It took CNBC host Simon Hobbs to say publicly what everyone had been saying privately: “I think Tim Cook is open about the fact he’s gay at the head of Apple,” Hobbs said a few months ago. “Isn’t he?”
James Steward, a guest on the show and himself an openly gay columnist for the New York Times, shook his head. “Um no,” he replied, uncomfortably, a response that will not surprise anyone who follows the gray lady’s cautious coverage of closeted public figures.
Cook has been in the news a lot lately. Not only is Apple one of the most valuable company in the world, but he has solidified his position as Steve Jobs hand-picked successor. In June, he testified before Congress on behalf of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and he was also the subject of a glowing NY Times profile that made the argument that he is redefining corporate progressive activism.
And today, in addition to announcing the new iPhone 6 and the iPhone 6 Plus, Cook unveiled Apple’s first major new product under his watch. The Apple Watch, in fact, which was immediately greeted with worldwide enthusiasm.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
But we’d rather see another kind of statement. Coming out would be the cherry on top of these accomplishments, especially in a time when there are, well, zero openly gay high-profile corporate CEOs. Cook, of course, has every right to his personal life to himself. But few are in a better position that Cook to change this situation for the better and help others break through the corporate glass ceiling.
Here are three reasons why Tim Cook should say the words Yep, I’m Gay.
1. He’s Almost Already Out
Cook hasn’t exactly made a secret of his support for all things LGBT. His Twitter feed has on multiple occasions called for equal workplace rights.
I applaud @WhiteHouse decision to ban #LGBT discrimination at fed contractors. House must act on #ENDA. A matter of basic human dignity.
— Tim Cook (@tim_cook) June 17, 2014
He authored a Wall Street Journal column about the importance of ENDA.
But he’s also been a tad too cute about his sexual orientation. He referred to seeing discrimination as a child in a speech, adding, “I have seen, and I have experienced, many other types of discrimination … [that] were rooted in a fear of people that were different than the majority.”
What is that “different” supposed to mean? Is it a code for gay people? Or for tall people? Or Jews, or African Americans, or disabled people?
Simon Hall may have blundered into the outing, but we didn’t hear anyone express surprise.
A few days later, Cook marched in San Francisco’s Pride parade.
2. Business Gays Need Powerful Role Models
There are tons of LGBT entrepreneurs, wealthy Americans, and business leaders, but the ranks are exceedingly thin at the top of major corporations. None of the queer leaders of Fortune 500 companies are out.
John Browne, the former chief executive of BP, came out in a book this year saying that he could not have revealed his sexual orientation while head of one of the world’s largest corporations.
“I would have been seen as ‘controversial,’ too hot to handle,” he explained.
Cook could help change that in a big way. By taking a stand as an out gay man — and arguably the world’s most successful CEO — he can show his colleagues that it’s safe for them to come out. And if they chose to do so, they’ll have a powerful ally.
Of course, as young folks climb the corporate ladder, they’ll bring their more progressive ideas with them. The young business kids of today are the gay CEOs of tomorrow. But Cook as a role model would hurry that development dramatically.
3. Job Security
Hell will freeze over before Tim Cook is fired for being gay. Apple loves its homos (remember when the company donated $100,000 to defeat Prop 8?) and has a robust support group for its LGBT workers.
In fact, he’d be more likely to lose his job if he was openly antigay. (Remember Brendan Eich?)
Job security and vast persona wealth is a luxury that a lot of lower-level workers don’t have. Although Apple respects workplace diversity, other companies don’t. A recent survey showed 83 percent of employees hide their orientation at work.
The New York Times profile on Cook starts with a remarkable story: as a kid, he witnessed a KKK cross burning, and tried to intervene.
That’s the kind of bravery we’d love to see this very private man apply to his very public life.
cflekken
God, just leave him be.
MarionPaige
It’s time for corporations that support gay rights to start giving stuff directly to gay people. Advertising that you support equal rights for gay people is one thing but, free IPhones for gay people says so much more.
stranded
Why do people think if you’re gay, you have to shout it from the roof tops? If he’s gay and if he chooses to publically comes out, then he’ll begin getting scrutinized and will have to justify every decision he makes. And since you can’t be all things to all people, he’ll never win. Why put that pressure on yourself? Why sacrifice a nice private life with all that bullshit? Personally, i’m more inspired by LGBT public figures who keep their private life to themselves.
MarionPaige
It’s not “people” who think gay people should be out, most gays in the workplace are not out at work. The OUT movement was the old political agenda gay media had latched onto before gay marriage – it was all about gay media hustling for advertising. The Out movement was a case of the operation being declared a success but the patient dying in that all of the media pimping OUT pretty much failed. My understanding is that the founder of Out magazine is still beating that dead horse trying to make Andy Towle relevant.
MarionPaige
BTW, the New York Times did a story on outing and it quoted Michael Musto but didn’t mention Adolph Brand
Dxley
Here we go again with Queerty trying to out any man they think is gay. Just let him be. It’s none of your business.
onthemark
Maybe it would be a good career move for him to get married to MarionPaige. She’d make a good “beard,” plus she’s black! Tech companies catch less flak for gay stuff than for r@cial stuff. @MarionPaige: Plus I think Marion would go for it; she just wants a free iPhone!
TomMc
Queerty: “… why Tim Cook should say the words Yep, I’m Gay.”
TomMc: Perhaps he already has, but was on Safari at the time.
Wilberforce
It’s his choice, not yours. Only he understands the circumstances of his own life, his family and colleagues and career. You don’t understand any of that, so stay out of it.
But of course, the activist crowd are so incredibly self-important, they think nothing of making personal decisions for the rest of us.
RSun
@stranded: How would you know about these “private gays” if they don’t come out? We all need role models…just be open with no apologies.
Bellamy
I can give you three reason why only brainless people should by Apple:
Microsoft is 100% better
Samsung is 100% better
EVERYTHING is 100% better
Bellamy
@Bellamy:
That should be “reasons” and “buy Apple”.
I was typing on someone’s Apple and it auto-corrected with incorrect spelling.
Curtispsf
I’m perfectly fine with Tim Cook keeping his sexual orientation a private matter IF, and this is a big IF, if he gives me a brand new iPhone 6 w/ 64GB of memory. I’d then be happy to parrot whatever he wants me to be say about his sexual orientation and relationship status.
Awkkk…Polly wants an iPhone 6. Awkkk. Are you hearing me Tim Cook? Awwwk.
NateOcean
Didn’t Apple, and Google (and a bunch of other Silicon Valley high-flying companies) get in trouble for colluding to keep salaries low? Steve Jobs got nailed for agreeing not to raid Google engineers, with a promise that they’d not hire away Apple engineers. And they agreed that it was good to keep salaries low.
All illegal.
So I guess Apple can be all progressive and modern and such on social matters like LGBT, but when it comes to salaries–money that affects the bottom line–they are just as big of assholes as any other big corporation.
RSun
@Wilberforce: No one said it was easy. Being true to yourself requires courage, insight and strength. I’ve been out at work for a decade now and while I’ve encountered a few difficult situations I have also inspired others to live their lives openly and honestly. No regrets.
AtticusBennett
@stranded: how can you know they’re LGBT if they’re closeted? HAHAH fail, you freaking wimp(s).
here’s something: by not being Out, they perpetuate the idea that being gay is something to be ashamed of. because people don’t hide things that are “just a small part of them” – they hide what they fear will be a Big Negative Thing to others.
ever notice how heterosexuals can be openly-heterosexual yet still maintain “private lives”? yeah. funny, that.
i’m frankly sick of grown adult closet cases sitting back and giving pathetic excuse after pathetic excuse.
“if a bullet should enter my brain let that bullet destroy every closet door”
and if you’re a closeted grown adult in north america in 2014, you’re a shameful embarrassment to harvey milk and every brave man and woman who has come out in times far more unforgiving and dangerous than today.
RSun
@AtticusBennett: Amen brother!
DickieJohnson
I’m still of the belief that being gay should be a non-issue, like being green-eyed, left-handed, or circumcised. It shouldn’t matter as to anyone’s being, or status in anything. From what I can see, it’s mostly activists and attention whores who give a d@mn; a great many of us do not.
RSun
@DickieJohnson: You’re right…it shouldn’t matter. But it does. I am neither an activist nor an attention whore, but I can see the larger picture. Future generations have always benefited from the bravery of trailblazers.
Desert Boy
I thought Tim Cook was outed by a CNBC anchor?
michael mellor
Apple is a sign of excessive capitalism. Gay men are too close to excessive capitalism. It spawns materialism, a common affliction of gay men.
PARKAVMAN
Isn’t that up to the individual?
mz.sam
Whether Tim Cook is gay or not is irrelevant to the great history of Apple…as long as the company and its stellar products stay true to Steve Jobs vision. Besides, the amazing new Cupertino site is like a mega-universe in itself!
wpewen
OK Lads, there are two ways to go on this. Back when I was a little Daddy chasing 20 year old Harvey Milk yelled: Everybody come out now! Even then I was skeptical. Work in the trades?(friend of mine does). Those guys will make your life hell. I did little of that kind of work and kept quiet. It hasn’t changed.
Michael Sam? Wish him the best, we’ll have to see how other players handle it over time. I knew guys who worked with Apple 30 years ago and the firm was totally kick back about the
wpewen
issue. If Cook decides to come out he will have their back. Nobody should sit around waiting for it, unless the guys an asshole like Larry Craig and most definitely should be OUTED.
michael mellor
Apple is actually a giant money-making scheme. All these different versions of the iphone are designed to make you feel left out if you don’t have them.
Apple doesn’t actually invent anything. It simply changes the way information can be delivered. It has made us gullible masses think that we are partaking of an invention whenever we buy something from it.
VampDC
This article is disgusting and whoever wrote this should be fired.
1. Don’t ever try to force someone to “come out”
2. You’re signifying that if a man acts a certain way he must be gay. That the fact he supports the LGBT community means he must be gay. Which is a HORRIBLE message to send. If that were the case what straight men are going to want to align themselves as supporters if they’re immediately going to be told to “come out”
3. Even if he is gay, everyone comes out when they are ready and should never be pressured by the media
Masc Pride
Here’s one reason why it’s none of your business:
1. It’s none of your business.
Brian
He’s already out. He admitted it when the torch was passed to him, and there were tons of interviews — both in print and on film. Failing to talk about it every single day doesn’t make him closeted — it makes him well-adjusted and fairly normal.
SteveDenver
Why not give Tim Cook kudos for his massive efforts on behalf of gays and lesbians instead of grief for his own reluctance.
There is no sense of shame or self-hatred, he just isn’t saying the GAY word. Meanwhile he’s doing a lot for gay equality and job protections.
SteveDenver
@Masc Pride: I wish there was a “Like” or “Agree” option for comments. Cook is prominent, but he isn’t “celebrity fodder.” He doesn’t rely upon personal visibility for his success. I wouldn’t be surprised if a majority of Apple users who aren’t fanatics have no clue who he is.
Paco
So if I read the first point in the piece correctly…
If you support gay rights and legislation like ENDA, then you are most likely gay. Not sure if publicly calling men gay for supporting us is the best way to go.
If he is gay, then it is his business and no one else’s. All the people demanding he be a “role model” need to get off their butts and do something worthwhile and become the role model the activists can exploit.
m1sf1t
Either being gay is something we are (like being black), or it’s something we do (like BDSM) – the latter being a choice and the former not.
Citing “privacy” is reinforcing the fiction that being gay is something one chooses to do in private.
That being said, it is understood that, unlike race (in most cases), sexual orientation is an invisible trait and, unfortunately, there are still too many places in the world where revealing that you’re gay is a matter of life and death.
For Tim Cook, however, I can’t see that any such life-and-death risks exist.
pjm1
Queerty, I hope you are running your business in a manner better than the advice
you are attempting to give Mr. Cook.
Apple is, obviously, a gigantic company with lots of employees. As CEO, Cook
has tremendous responsibility to the Company, its employees and its shareholders.
Do you really think Mr. Cook wants to put the Company and its employees in the
middle of a cultural war? It could hurt Apple sales all over the U.S. and world, could cause
protests, etc. Just look at the moves by Chick Fil A and the protests and negative press —
and Apple is a heck of alot bigger than that. Cook wants to grow the company not hurt it.
Cook has walked a fine, intelligent and sophisticated line, supporting gay rights,
marching in gay pride parades, etc. That is enough — his job one is to grow Apple
and be a responsible CEO.
Masc Pride
@SteveDenver: Yeah, he should be recognized for all the work he does (outside his bedroom). I’m so sick of all these gayer-than-thou homothumpers trying to tell other guys they’re better gays because they’re more out or more involved or more open-minded….blah, blah, blah. It’s all just a gay version of self-righteousness.
Kieran
Reason # 4: Because the media would rather have Gay “men” wearing wigs, ballet tutu and carrying pink parasols at gay pride parades as our representatives than CEOs of major corporations.
callenstewart
Isn’t this old news? Wasn’t it already all over the news when he took over the company?
DickieJohnson
@Masc Pride: I’m in full agreement with you here.
@Kieran: The aforementioned paraders have nothing in common with 90% of the gay male population.
Billy Budd
@AtticusBennett: You are absolutely right. People should come out. It is the right and noble thing to do.
RSun
@Masc Pride: I’m not better…just braver.
Saint Law
Feel the Fear on this thread.
Look, nobody’s going to prise that closet door open, so you can unclench your knuckles a moment, okay?
Because here’s the thing: if it’s dictated by your apprehension of negative consequences: ridicule, the glass ceiling, boycotts, whatever then it isn’t your ‘choice’.
Honestly, some of you jelly nellies have lived so long terrified of what Mummy and Daddy might think you’ve persuaded yourselves that cowardice is self-determination.
MCHG
Surprised and proud at the number of people sharing the sentiment that it’s no one business who’s gay and who’s not. The outing campaigns that began at the end of the last century and continued well into the present day have been nothing but a stain on the history of the gay rights movement. It turns the fight for human rights into tabloid fodder. This crap was all started by that megalomaniac Michael Signorile, who gave a person step by step instructions on how to kill themselves because they were going to vote for Romney. A gay man telling another gay man to kill himself, using vivid detail. That’s the kind of hatred that the outing orthodoxy generates. As for Harvey Milk, no one lives their lives to make Harvey Milk proud,as a poster tried to imply above. When Harvey pushed the American hero who saved Gerald Ford out of the ccloset, he was abandoned by everyone and died an obese alcoholic, regretful of ever saving the president. Just because some of you live in liberal enclaves and have supportive people in your lives it doesn’t mean others don’t have more to lose than it’s worth coming out for. I still to this day cannot understand how gays can out other gays, knowing how grave the consequences can be. I suppose it’s the entitlement complex that people like Signorile and Mike Rogers fuel.
stranded
@AtticusBennett: Perhaps i didn’t make myself clear or you glossed over my post but i never said gay people should live in the closet. Maybe it’s a difference of opinion on what coming out means. I’m referring to the action of announcing your sexuality NOT living openly as a gay man/woman. There is a huge difference between being closeted and letting your private life remain private. It’s the same way people found out about Matt Bomer, he never did a “Yup, I’m Gay.” story. He thanked his partner while accepting an award and everybody found out. Except for your family, i don’t know many people who announce their sexuality to everyone they know. I also think it’s important to look for role models in your everyday life not just public figures. Your gay co-worker can be just as much as a role model if he/she lives his/her life and through conversation your realize they’re gay. A person doesn’t have to announce their sexuality, straight people don’t why do gays?
Saint Law
@MCHG: No, one thing you’re not is proud. But are you, by chance, an obese alcoholic?
Chris
I don’t know whether or not Cook is gay.
But it strikes me that being out is not the same as making a huge announcement.
Let’s assume he IS gay. If his living a contented life and is not actively hurting anyone (the way closeted republican party hacks do) then people’s wanting him to make an announcement about being gay seems to be more for political purposes or to satisfy that curiosity than having to do with making Cook’s life any better. Honestly, I see no reason why Cook should live his life based on others’ political desires on what he should or should not do.
If he is gay and he is not contented, then he need therapy and more advice than I am qualified to give him.
Finally, these arguments all revolve around a single stem: “If he’s gay, he should…” Well, what if he’s not gay?
Bottom line: it really is no one’s business but his own. Just like what consenting adults do behind closed doors is no one else’s business but their own.
MarionPaige
Apple may be famous to the average person on the street for its products but, in the business world, APPLE IS FAMOUS FOR HORDING CASH.
In plain english, Apple has enough money to insure that there is never ever an article in any major media that refers to its CEO’s sexuality – something every media company is certainly aware of. Shouldn’t it be obvious that Apple has to be spending a lot of money on advertising? How many publications go after their advertisers?
And then there is the distraction factor.
Steve Jobs reportedly picked Cook as his successor because Cook was the architect of Apple’s manufacturing / supply channel model – a model that involves reportedly very few American manufacturers and very little American labor.
So, you have a company famous for hording cash and offshoring its labor and manufacturing and what are people gossiping about? It’s CEO’s sexuality
MarionPaige
Correction: “So, you have a company famous for hording cash and offshoring its labor and manufacturing and what are TIRED ASS WHITE QUEENS gossiping about? It’s CEO’s sexuality.
If Apple was shamed into moving more of its manufacturing to North America, wouldn’t that help gay people? Or, maybe Gays don’t do manufacturing jobs.
Masc Pride
@RSun: Nope. Just more sanctimonious and judgmental. Just like Bible-thumpers. No difference.
RSun
@Masc Pride: Whatever…everyone judges. I walk the walk so I am entitled. At least I’m honest. BTW…I live in a conservative Bible belt. I don’t hide and the hits I’ve taken over the years have been worth it so the next generation has it a bit easier.
Masc Pride
@RSun: Well at least you can admit you’re a hypocrite. “I’m not better, I’m just better.” LOL
Dxley
Wow! Look at all these holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, I’m-better-and-braver-because-the-whole-world-knows-I-suck-dick comments.
He doesn’t perpetuate the idea that being gay is wrong and shameful — he just prefers keeping his private life private. He doesn’t owe anything to anyone and he currently doesn’t think it’s necessary for him to scream out and say he’s gay.
Two days ago it was about how “I’m able to tell if a man’s gay” because apparently they have “gaydar” which can be “honed” and perfected with more gay men you meet — especially closeted ones. Now it’s about forcing a man to say he’s gay, for what? Talk about pious. You don’t want Bible’s teachings forced on you, right? Stop trying to force what you think is right and “brave” onto others. Such hypocrisy.
“Brave” is subjective. You don’t know what other people have to go through on a daily basis, but I guess all that can go fly as long as they proclaim their love for a penis.
jasentylar
To echo the first commenter, just leave the man alone. We gays have enough to worry about than fighting our own or making assumptions about our allies. Let his work speak for itself.
pressuredrop
All comments from the trolls and their troll-y trolling aside…
Outing celebrities seems a little 2006. Are we so desperate for trailblazers that we have to prod “straight” men into dancing for our corporate whims? Why can’t we focus on people who are *out*?
phil9121
I don’t care whether you are gay or straight – my sexual orientation is none of your business.
Just because you’re gay doesn’t give you the right to out someone.
If a non-queer website or news page would post an article like this and demanding Tim Cook to finally out himself, you would go crazy and call it homophobic!
But since it’s queerty it’s ok…
You’d say “The intention is positive”. Or “it’s for a good cause, to show younger closeted teens that you can still achieve big things”.
It simply is non of your business!
As a young gay man, all I’m seeing is a community which, on the outside appears to fight against discrimination, yet on the inside discriminates their own if they are not as out and proud as some others are and call closeted gays a shameful embarrassment (quote from above), and so on …
I am proud to be gay – but this actually makes me sad and ashamed of being part of the gay community!
AtticusBennett
there is no such thing as “being forced to Come Out”, as the person is already allowing others to FORCE THEM TO “STAY IN”.
this is the reality.
it’s something that all Out people understand – and all those who are not yet Out won’t realize until they make the same leap that the rest of us have.
there are no closeted heterosexuals. there are no straight people who hope people can’t tell that they’re straight, or consider their heterosexuality a “private and personal thing” – so stop wasting time telling yourself the same excuses that are leading some of you in here to grow into adulthood as closeted boys, not out and proud MEN.
of course this story struck a chord with this site’s most pathetic insecure closeted commenters: the guys who think they’re “masc” yet aren’t man enough to actually be OUT.
Masc Pride
I’m out, and I DON’T understand meddling in another man’s closet, and I hope I never do.
1. Unless you came twirling out of the womb, you were there once too, so it’s flat out hypocritical. It’s like a recovering addict trying to shame those that are still using.
2. The people that do so usually just do it to show they’re “better/braver gays”. If they really cared so much about making gay life easier for future generations, they’d be helping and supporting those who are struggling instead of shaming.
3. It’s no different from people telling gay people they’re “living wrong”.
Come down from your homo pulpits!
vive
The question is, do we really want him?
Given Apple’s questionable business practices, frivolous copyright lawsuits, terrible human rights record in places like China, and puritanical censorship policies, I certainly don’t.
vive
Apple’s supposedly good treatment of Western LGBT employees is nothing but pinkwashing. Their offshore contractor sweatshops are infamous for employee suicides.
pressuredrop
@vive:
Another really good point. Of all the things Apple deserves to be taken to task for, the sexuality of its CEO is pretty far down along the list.
AtticusBennett
@Masc Pride: prove it. i call your bluff, coward 🙂
i help people who are struggling. i’ve got countless videos on youtube and my blog offering advice, guidance and applicable paths to take in coming out, dealing with different family members, etc.
by all means, check them out. what do YOU do? come on here, pretend you’re “masc” (you’re not, you’re a stereotypical internet coward) and denigrate those whom your crap family made fun of.
none of us are on “homo pulpits” – it just looks that way because you’re on your belly, crawling in the mud, like a little worm.
yes – those of us who are *actually* Out know what we’re talking about, because we’ve been where you once were – in the closet. you, however, have not yet gotten to where we are.
wise up, chump
Masc Pride
@ReverendBennett: Gays like you — that are so CONSUMED with gay self-righteousness, arrogance and the need to prove you’re “a better gay” — destroy the gay community. Every single thing you say on this site is condemning another gay man (and his father LOL). If there really was a gay cancer, guys like you would be IT. You’re one of the biggest gay homophobes I’m ever come across.
http://www.queerty.com/benedict-cumberbatch-wants-a-gay-president-even-though-gays-are-always-the-biggest-homophobes-20140909
AtticusBennett
i don’t need to prove i’m a “better gay” – you prove you’re a sackless coward. on here. every day. really? we “destroy” the gay community? hilarious. we create it. you? you’re a closeted worthless trolling coward. what do you contribute? care to show us all? post the URL so we can see you 🙂
how am i a “gay homophobe”? oh, don’t bother explaining yourself. you’re here every day to anonymously vent because nobody in your own life actually loves you. it’s textbook.
it’s not that i’m self-righteous, it’s just that you’re a miserable little coward with no balls.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2014/06/thank-you-mum-and-dad.html
for you, “masc pride”. drop on by, leave me a message 🙂
Masc Pride
@ReverendBennett: What you don’t seem to understand is I don’t want to be anything like you. I hope I’m NEVER as homosanctimonious as you. You’re the most DETRIMENTAL example of gay out there. You come on here every day to tell everyone how much of a better gay you are because you hate gay people. The “closet cases” you loathe don’t do anywhere near as much damage as gay homophobes like you. Bet you’re not even really out. Your father hates you.
AtticusBennett
funny thing – click my name, see my links, they all prove you wrong 🙂
i don’t hate gay people. i hate people that hate gay people 🙂 but hey, you’ve just proven your limitless stupidity with that last message, which didn’t make a lick of sense. and now i’m going to do what your family has done for years: ignore you as if you don’t even exist.
🙂 buh bye.
RSun
@AtticusBennett: Masc Pride and the like will never understand. Continue the great work you do, while the cowards cower in the corners.
Masc Pride
So you hate yourself then. There are a bunch of examples of you hating gay people in this comment section alone. You force your videos and blog entries on other guys to get the attention you never got from a daddy that resents your existence. So sad.
marq
“especially in a time when there are, well, zero openly gay high-profile corporate CEOs”
Really? Depends where you are I guess.
Alan Joyce, CEO of QANTAS, is high profile here.
MarionPaige
Y’all just keep in mind what happened to Gawker when it played around with claiming that a high profile CEO was “closeted” gay. Also, “a certain someone” played around with outing Robin Roberts before she came out.
jlfbman
I heard the most ridiculous gossip the other day…..Liberace was gay???
jlfbman
Shout from the rooftops, if anyone says anything negative….ban them from buying apples.
LadyL
@AtticusBennett: @RSun: @Saint Law: Thank you, all. Agree completely.
This is what I keep coming back to: that depressing 83 percent statistic. All those working brothers and sisters feeling compelled to keep their heads down and their mouths shut, desperate to avoid trouble. Aren’t they really what this story is about?
Tim Cook seems like a terrific guy. Which makes his silence that much more sad. I read this piece and thought, well shit. If he can’t come out who can? (And yeah, I think you have to say the words; just allowing others to draw their own conclusions is not the same thing.)
I think it’s safe to assume that at least a few commenters here are part of that 83 percent. I can imagine what working life must be like for them, because I have been there–for YEARS I was there. I cringe remembering it:
Every day you are surrounded by straight coworkers who bring their “personal, private” lives into the office. EVERY SINGLE DAY. They do this because they can, and because it doesn’t occur to them not to. Their desks are littered with framed pictures of them with their opposite gender significant other. On Valentine’s Day they happily sign for flower deliveries from their loved one. They gush about romantic getaways. They talk with pride (and sometimes exasperation) about their spouses and their kids. They come up to you chattering with happy anticipation about their weekend plans, their holiday plans, their anniversaries and birthday parties and baby showers. (One woman I worked with planned her ENTIRE WEDDING out of our office and no one thought anything of it.)
Then, inevitably, invariably, they look at you and ask about YOUR your spouse or significant other, your Valentine’s Day/Anniversary/Birthday/Weekend plans.
And you squirm inside, trying to decide which lie to tell this time. Most of us spend most of our lives on our jobs. Our coworkers become our friends. We are a Team, a Family (at least that’s how the boss wants us all to feel) and “No comment” or “None of your business” is not a realistic option.
Neither by the way is silence, which sooner or later makes you suspect. You might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board that reads I AM GAY AND TERRIFIED YOU WILL HATE ME FOR IT.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I think those miserable years I spent hiding in the closet (and the destructive things I did to make myself feel better about my cowardice) actually shortened my life.
That, not Tim Cook, is what this story is really about.
AtticusBennett
Lady L – i love you for that. Amen.