Harrison Browne made history as the first publicly out trans pro hockey player in the U.S. Now, the trailblazer wants to break ground in another way: providing trans kids with a cinematic depiction of how good life can be post-transition.
Browne, who’s pursued a career in acting since hanging up his skates in 2017, is producing a trans positive short film called Pink Light. The move is centered around the protagonist, Scott, who travels back in time as his pre-transition self and takes viewers along for his life-saving journey.
A former hockey player, Scott gazes into a pink light in his apartment, and is transported back to a pivotal frat party, where he experiences male bonding for the first time.
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Perhaps unsurprisingly, Scott’s story is also Harrison’s. He’ll be taking on the role himself.
“When I see trans characters written, it’s usually a trans character going through a transition at a younger time,” he said. “That younger character going through a transition is important, but I really just wanted to show a 30-year-old trans person just having a life, and having the transition not be part of their mind.
“I don’t really think about being trans anymore, only when it comes up.”
When talking to Harrison, it quickly becomes apparent that he’s found personal peace. Though he loved playing hockey, and won two championships in the Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL), his athletic career prevented him from fully transitioning.
Nowadays, Harrison is the man he’s always dreamed of. His most blissful moments come when he’s just living his life, such as when he’s scootering around Los Angeles, or rocking his favorite baseball hat with his dirty blonde hair poking out.
Above all else, those are the experiences he wants to highlight.
“I wanted to see that when I was younger. If I had seen something like this when I was in college, it would’ve given me some sort of blueprint for this future that was so elusive for me,” he said.
Ahead of Transgender Day of Visibility, Queerty caught up with Harrison to talk about his motivation for writing Pink Light, life with his partner and his newfound cat dad status. Here’s what he had to say…
QUEERTY: What is your intention with Pink Light?
HARRISON BROWNE: Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about trans youth and sports, and the impact sports had in my life. It made things easier for me, but it also made things hard, because I couldn’t physically transition. I was just thinking back to that version of myself that I felt badly on. It’s based on my college experience, and I remember thinking back to that version and feeling like “cringe.” We all have that kind of feel about our younger selves at times.
I just thought how much that younger version went through, being a Division 1 athlete, dealing with gender identity, dealing with growing up in a religious household, and just kind of had gratitude for this version of myself that brought me to where I am today. I’m 30 years old now, I’m physically transitioned. I’m in a new phase of my life, and I’ve just been practicing a lot of gratitude for that time. I’m thankful that version didn’t give up, and I really wanted to pay some tribute to that time in my life.
You’ve been visible and outspoken about your experience for years. What are some correspondences you’ve had that have really jumped out at you?
I’m writing a book right now with my sister, and we’ve interviewed people from all over the world, different ages. But I think the biggest interactions I have are with youth. There’s a young trans boy whom I spoke to–he lives in Boston–and just talking to him, he’s 12 years old, and knowing that I played hockey and went to a Division 1 college, he has dreams of going to [Boston University], and being on the Terriers hockey team. His mom sent me a letter after the Zoom interview, saying he couldn’t stop talking about it. So I sent him one of my jerseys, and he has it on his wall now, with his favorite NHL players. I just think having a positive role model, and seeing a blueprint for the future is so important. If I had seen somebody like that when I was 12, it would’ve blown my mind.
What are some moments that have stuck out since you’ve transitioned that made you think, “I’m being me?”
I think at the beginning of anyone’s transitions, it’s the big ones: getting top surgery, being out for the first time with your shirt off. Those were amazing moments for me. But I think I’m five years on [testosterone] now–almost six, which is crazy–and I’m finding a lot more comfort in how I look now. I feel like I look my age. I feel like I’m getting some legit facial hair that I have to shave every few days. There are moments when I see myself in the mirror having to do this. I think now that it’s become the norm, it’s not that it’s not still shiny, but it’s not as new. It’s those quiet moments of, “This is me, I’ve grown into the man I’ve always dreamed of.” It’s those little moments. I took a video of myself on a scooter yesterday in LA to show my partner–I was scootering around–and I looked at it and said, “That’s me.” It’s not the crazy reveals. It’s this underlying piece.
Though you’ve retired from hockey, you’re still in great shape! What’s your workout routine?
I do CrossFit now. I used to be like, “Oh, CrossFit.” It had some negative connotations. I think not as much anymore, because the workouts have become more accessible for people. But I have this really great gym that I go to in Toronto. It’s right by my place, and it’s so queer friendly. It’s such a nice environment. It’s the closest kind of workouts to hockey workouts that I’ve been able to find. We do squats, bench press, crazy circuits. I can’t get away from working out. When I retired, I was like “I don’t have to workout, I don’t have to do cardio, I don’t have to do anything.” I had like a year where I was like, “Sweet, I don’t have to push my body at all.” Then I started getting antsy. I’ve been doing CrossFit since then!
What do you do for fun?
I love movies, I watch movies with my friends. I hang out with my cats. I love my cats! But yeah, I love hanging out with my friends in a way that I never have. I’ve never had the time to just sit and hang and settle. It’s really nice to be able to lead a “normie” life. We call it “NARP,” non-athlete regular person. It’s just nice to live a NARP life!
Would you consider yourself a cat dad?
I’m 100% a cat dad! My background on my phone is my two cats. They’re my babies. I had ferrets before, and I actually had a viral ferret video. I had a YouTube video that had like 2 million views on it for ferrets, and I made $900 one month on ads. I still make money off of it passively. I’ve always loved animals, but I could never have a dog or a cat. But now that I’m a 30-year-old man in my own apartment, it’s just really nice to have. I have two bengal cats, Mike and Donnie, and I love them so much.
You’ve mentioned your partner a couple of times. How did you two meet?
We were really good friends for like a year and a half. We’ve been each other’s best friends for a while. But we recently moved from friendship to dating about five months ago. So it’s still pretty new; but yeah, we’ve been traveling together and writing together. It’s been really nice. I’ve never dated a friend before, and it’s a great transition. It’s a scary transition, because there’s a lot more at stake, but it’s nice to have that kind of foundation when you’re dating.
What else do you have planned for this year?
Just writing a lot! Really hammering that book home, and then I have a script that I’ve been working on that’s just gotten optioned, so that’s really exciting. So just working away, and auditioning when I can. But obviously, working on this movie and getting funding for that is going to be the next few months of my life.
To contribute to Pink Light‘s kickstarter, click here.
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DennisMpls
Thanks for the great story! Harrison Browne seems like a terrific guy with his life well put together. Unfortunately, the pressures of our society often make that end goal difficult to reach. It’s always great to read a positive story of success, peace, and happiness. And I hope his movie is as good as it sounds like it will be.
Rikki Roze
Thanks for this interesting story about an interesting guy. More stories like this, please.
dbmcvey
Very interesting! Good for him! Thanks for this!
Diplomat
He’s a cat dad. Ya just can’t get any more adorbs than that. Beautiful guy beautiful story.
Bosch
Fascinating! You have strong opinions about trans women, but trans men are adorbs? People sure be complex.
Diplomat
I have strong feelings about trans activists. Trans people being their everyday selves is always welcome. Unfortunately trans activists have stacked the deck badly for all trans people.
abfab
And you’ll always be one card short of a full deck. Strong feelings? Sure, Jan.
monty clift
@Bosch, it looks like a stereotypical lesbian, lol. There’s no man there at all. Diplomat must be female, perhaps she can recognise her own kind?
It doesn’t make sense to say you’re against trans activists but support “everyday” trans people. That is as illogical as saying you have an intolerance to lactose but still consume dairy products. You’re fine with some people lying about their sex, using spaces where they don’t belong, and harming others as long as they are not “loud” about it. So exactly what are you against here?
Bosch
Monty, I know plenty of men who look like lesbians.
Would your opinion of trans people be different if you knew that most trans-identified individuals have physically detectable sexually differentiated brains, before undergoing any kind of hormonal treatment?
still_onthemark
@Bosch: “most trans-identified individuals have physically detectable sexually differentiated brains, before undergoing any kind of hormonal treatment”
That bit of folklore has been debunked. There is no truth to it at all.
Bosch
Can you point me to the research that has debunked it? I just need a title.
still_onthemark
@Bosch: Although Queerty doesn’t allow links, for a start, look for “Meet the neuroscientist shattering the myth of the gendered brain” in the Guardian (a thoroughly left-wing source which even ZZBomb would approve of) and “The Search for a ‘Cause’ of Transness Is Misguided” in Scientific American.
Bosch
The first article is an exempt from a larger body of literature, which explores the matrices of sexual differentiation. It is not data, it is a literature review. It suggests that there is no male-female binary, and that brains can have features common to both sexes. It does not disprove the existence of sexually differentiated brains. The title of the article misleading, and the article itself predates a lot of research on neurological gender differences.
The second article has absolutely no research associated with it, it simply addresses the ethical and philosophical consequences of searching for biological configurations as a cause of divergent gender identities.
In science, the research that disproves the status quo is the most sought-after research. As soon as someone finds proof that there is no measurable difference in the trans brain, it will be published.
The current research shows differences not in activation of the hypothalamus, as in with homosexual brains, but in the physical structure and chemistry of the brain. For example, trans women tend to have a much higher concentration of a specific protein which controls activation of oestrogen receptors, something which doesn’t seem to serve much of a purpose in a male.
As per the first article, the male-female dichotomy is not as black and white as it seems. Far too much importance is placed on the reproductive system and the secondary sex characteristics it controls, but our genitals are part of our vehicle, and our brains hold our essence. We are matrices of masculinity and femininity, and I believe that the two-gender system is precisely the cause of gender dysphoria. We have no space in society for people who’s neurology does not match their reproductive systems, yet nature creates them all the same. Transitioning towards another gender, this is an attempt by trans people to fit in, not an attempt to be different.
Bosch
*whose
Before the grammar nazis get me.
still_onthemark
@Bosch: See also “Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains” in Nature.
I’m not a scientist and can’t compete with your lingo. (My dad was a high school science teacher but I hadn’t looked at Scientific American since it graced our coffee table when I was a kid.)
But this is same obsession we saw in the ’90s when they were always looking for innate brain differences to supposedly “explain” homosexuality. My impression back then was that it was all a dead end. If you still believe we have different hypothalamuses (hypothalami?) than heterosexuals, sorry but that sounds like the usual ’90s carnival-barking hokum.
Bosch
We don’t have physically different hypothalamuses. What we’ve discovered is that there is increased activity in the hypothalamus when a gay man is exposed to male pheromones. Obviously, this isn’t a conscious choice, as we have no conscious awareness of pheromones.
This doesn’t suggest that the gay brain is physically different, but it does suggest that our orientation is biologically determined, and we are not choosing our sexual attraction.
Of course, we knew that already. But the homophobes like to pretend otherwise.
Then again, I have my own opinions about people who claim you can choose or change your sexuality…
still_onthemark
“Then again, I have my own opinions about people who claim you can choose or change your sexuality…”
You mean nonbinary people?
Bosch
No, I mean straight-identified people who insist that gays are choosing to be gay.
We understand our world through our own experiences. Thus, we understand sexuality through our own experience if sexuality. If someone insists that sexuality is a choice, this is because they experience their own sexuality as a choice.
In other words, if someone tells you that sexuality is a choice, you can be certain you’re dealing with a person who doesn’t understand their bisexuality, and thinks being straight is a matter of gay abstinence.
Ronbo
Brown is as trans as I am trans… this is merely a state of mind. Erasing gay men and replacing us with trans women is sus.
There are REAL trans people. We don’t need to invent justifications to make us gay men, trans. And yes, I’m serious about being trans. It’s just that I have a penis and I like being a man; but, I would not object to being a woman every now and then. Except… for the hate trans people get from misogynistic people like abfab, dbmcvey and our regular self-centered bigots.
still_onthemark
uh… I have several questions but I’ll limit it to one: Why do you think Harrison Browne is not a “real” trans person?
There ARE a lot of fake trans people out there doing their performance art schtick, but Harrison seems real enough. Are you “denying his right to exist” or something? Lol.
abfab
From now on let’s agree with everything RONBO says. It will make things easier. Continue, RONBO.
monty clift
In other words “My cross dressing is real, but your cross dressing is fake!”
I can’t with this idiocy, Smh.
Bosch
I don’t understand why the two who regularly fight with transphobes are being accused of hating trans people.
still_onthemark
@Bosch: Ronbo is a conspiracist who was sure Queerty nefariously prevented Alex Morse from beating Rep. Richard Neal (D-MA) in a primary. He went on and on about that for months, sure that Queerty had tremendous sway over voters in rural Massachusetts. Ronbo is perhaps a tad out of touch with reality.
Bosch
Wow, lots of comments under the Alex Morse articles. It seems like it was a big discussion, whether Queerty was handling the story responsibly.
Even though everyone is arguing, though, it’s a lot more civilised without certain maga trolls derailing the conversation with their conservative outrage-du-jour.