If you’re gay, thin, don’t have very much body hair, and are on the younger side, you’ve probably been called a “twink” before. It’s a term that’s as ubiquitous in the gay community as “top” and “bottom”, and it’s just as loaded. And while some people embrace the term, others take offense to it.
So, is the word “twink” a slur? Should you be offended the next time someone calls you a twink? Or is it just another part of gay culture? Here, we dive into the history of the word and attempt to find out if the word belongs in the gay lexicon in 2022.
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What Is A Twink?
According to the Urban Dictionary, a “twink” is usually considered a “homosexual male with attractive, boyish qualities. Typically from the ages of 18 to 25, and often thought of as a young, white, fashionable male”.
Where Did The Term ‘Twink’ Originate?
The origins of the slang term “twink” are rather muddy. There is no official etymology for the term, but there are countless theories.
The most popular theory – for obvious reasons – is that “twink” is a shortened version of “Twinkie”, Hostess’ snack cake that’s “white, sweet to the taste, cream-filled and offers no nutritional value”. You can easily see why people make the connection, but linguists remain skeptical.
In fact, the only real connection Twinkies have with the LGBTQ community is a dark one – the man who was convicted of assassinating gay activist and politician Harvey Milk claimed that, at the time of the killing, he was in a diminished mental state – pointing to his high consumption of unhealthy foods like Twinkies as “evidence”. Thus the existence of the legal slang “Twinkie defense”, which describes an outlandish or highly improbable legal defense.
While “twink” may not be a shortened form of “Twinkie”, some believe that the gay slang may be shorthand for “twinkletoes”. A 1919 novel of the same name centers on the story of a young female dancer who goes by the nickname “Twink”.
The term “twinkletoes” also shows up in a 1972 book called The Queens’ Vernacular, which describes someone who you call “twinkle-toes” as an “effeminate person”, kind of like how “fairy” and “princess” do the same.
By 1975, “twink” appeared in Drummer Magazine, a publication dedicated to leather and S&M culture. In it, “twink” was defined as the “submissive” or “masochist” in S&M relationships.
How “twink” evolved from “effeminate” and “submissive” to “thin, hairless, and young” isn’t clear, but a 1978 language survey called the Maledicta related the term “twinkle-toes” to “youthful and effeminate young men”.
By the 90s and early 2000s, as the internet boom made porn more accessible (albeit loading at a snail’s pace), porn sites became filled to the brim with images and later videos of waif-like, hairless young men labeled as “twinks”. Soon after, “twink” would surface in gay and then eventually mainstream media.
Today, “twink” is an almost inextricable part of gay vernacular, regarded as the opposite of a “bear” or a “daddy” and often associated with effeminate young men who have a proclivity for dressing well. Twinks are often stereotyped as being vapid and rather ditzy as well, and can be looked down on by other members of the gay community – especially for being outwardly feminine.
Is Twink A Slur?
Some people may consider the term a slur or a “hate term”, as writer Mitchell Sunderland once called it in a piece for Vice. “…the word is not really one of endearment. Just as soon as an older gay would jump at the chance to rim the asshole of one of those ‘hairless manboys,’ he’d also deride the twink for his over-the-top flamboyancy. Being labeled a twink is like getting the scarlet letter of the gay universe,” Sunderland wrote.
“Because many homosexuals have internalized society’s hatred for feminine gay men, being labeled a twink means you embody all of their self-loathing,” he added.
But for folks like author and LGBTQ+ activist Dan Savage, who later wrote a short blog in reaction to Sunderland’s piece, the term is used with “affection, irony, and longing far more often than it’s used to put someone down.”
“It’s also a term that many young and hairless gay white males embrace – including some of the guys Sunderland interviews.”
Indeed, in Sunderland’s piece, which consists of interviews with young gay men who have been called twinks at some point in their lives, some respondents labeled the term “derogatory”, while others seemed to be more receptive to it, particularly because they fit into the body type which the term describes.
One key takeaway from this particular interview is one respondent’s answer about how “people’s tones” when using the term made him realize that “twink” could be used derogatorily. It reflects a larger truth about slang terms in general.
Whether a slang term is derogatory depends on the context in which it was used, much like terms like “queer”, “f*g”, and “homo”. You have to ask yourself who’s saying it, how they’re saying it, who they’re saying it to, and what their relationship is with the person they’re speaking to.
Still, unlike these other reclaimed words, “twink” is still seen by many as understandably reductive. “Twink” describes a particular body type – thin, young, hairless, and oftentimes white. And for a lot of gay men, this term – along with words like “bear”, “cub”, and “otter” – are helpful for dating purposes.
But the word has also become loaded with so many connotations, including submissiveness, ditziness, effeminacy, and having an inclination towards bottoming. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, nobody should be stereotyped based simply on their body type.
The Bottom Line
Is “twink” a slur? Well, it depends on a few factors: who’s saying it, how they’re saying it, and whether the person they’re saying it to deems the term as offensive.
Unlike slang terms like “queer” and “f*g”, “twink” wasn’t really used by straight people as a pejorative to out gay men or to put them down. Instead, “twink” is more of an insider term, familiar mostly to people who identify as queer. It may be hurled as an offensive term from one gay to another, but it doesn’t seem to hold much water outside of the community.
Regardless, the term can be hurtful, particularly if it’s used to put someone down for being “too feminine”, “too submissive”, “too skinny” or whatever other stereotypes are attached to the word. So, while it may not be a “slur”, it may be a word that some people feel sensitive about or may not appreciate being called.
The bottom line? Unless you’re sure that the person you’re speaking to is fine with being called a twink, save it.
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Donston
It’s definitely something some folks are using with an extremely wide net. There are some who call pretty much any white guy who looks under 35 a “twink”. It also can be condescending, a way of calling someone a child or calling them infantile. It also is fetishistic and simplifying. But like most everything else, it’s about the context it’s used and who’s using it. I find it cheesy and old-fashioned at this point, same with “bear”.
starri
By the same token, I’ve seen 25 year olds with beards describe themselves as daddies.
Donston
Yes, dudes wanting to call themselves “daddies” simply because they top or because they’re “masculine” or because they’re balding at a young age or because they don’t have the perfect bodies or because they’re really buff. It’s all fairly cringe-y. My thing is do you but don’t put that on others, especially when it don’t even fit them.
Ronbo
Yet some gay men prefer masculinity and are attracted to it. Attraction to femininity is an individual choice – and an individual expression.
The world is big enough for everyone. But, be warned that there is a serious downside to trying to catfish straight men. The more a society enforces male/female traditional role models (Ahem: Republicans), the more violent the society. Be the pressure relief valve – not the trigger.
john.k
Around 10 years ago when I was a mere stripling in my early sixties a young friend who was describing the Fort Lauderdale scene to me said “John, you’d be a twink in Fort Lauderdale” (lol)
Kangol2
There are many slurs but “twink” is not one of them. Nor is “twunk.”
Donston
I’ve definitely seen some folks try to use “twink” in a derogatory way. But to me it was ineffective. Then again, even when it’s not used as a put-down I find it cringe-y. Reducing people to porn categories, fantasy tropes and fetish feels kinda lame and old-fashioned.
Ronbo
Donston, if it was “ineffective” put-down, then it’s not a put-down. It’s YOU who makes it a “cringe-y” put-down.
Bigots go cringe-y when they learn that I’m in a multi-racial same-sex marriage; the problem isn’t with my partner or myself. Is it?
Mischief13
Do your research, Queerty. TWINK stands for Thin, White, Into No Kink.
Doug
I’ve been gay and living in San Francisco for four decades now and this is the first time I’ve heard that. Thanks for enlightening me, I always wondered where the word came from.
PinkoOfTheGange
That is a Backronym: “an acronym deliberately formed from a phrase whose initial letters spell out a particular word or words, either to create a memorable name or as a fanciful explanation of a word’s origin.”
And comparing it to a Hostess Twinkie is similar.
MacAdvisor
Is tomato a slur? The term can be hurtful, particularly if it’s used to put someone down for being “too round,” “too red,” “too plump” or whatever other stereotypes are attached to the word. So, while it may not be a “slur,” it may be a word that some people feel sensitive about or may not appreciate being called.
Is there any word SOME people SOMEwhere don’t feel sensitive about?
jt1990
Haven’t been referred to as a twink since I was about 20. Shortly after, people knew me as the guy who consumes lots of twinkies and little debbies. Now they just refer to me as ‘that fat guy.’ Twink was least derogatory IMO, but I don’t like the sound of any of them.
Jim
The author did hit on how the term has changed, but I’ve never seen it as one the connotes effeminacy
Being thought of as young and attractive usually isn’t an insult.
Being thought of as some what brainless and naive is.
I say use it, but if someone is offended an apology is in order.
Man About Town
I recently moved from San Francisco to Palm Springs, and people crack up when I say “There I was a troll; here I’m a twink.”
bachy
Haha! I love it. It’s all about finding your audience, isn’t it?
dynamic33
Twink comes from Twinkie because like the Hostess snack cake, certain young gay men are cheap, golden brown, and have cream fillings. It was always intended as a term to objectify, marginalize, and diminish young gay men. It was usually employed by bitter, old queens, envious of twink youth and vitality. Was it a slur? In a way, yes. Is it now? Who cares? Gay men are worse than a 1,000 12 year old girls.
bachy
I’ve always thought of “twink” as synonymous with “immature.” Sex with twinks may be fun, but on a purely recreational level only. Any mature individual who has attempted to have a ‘relationship’ with a twink knows how debilitating such involvements can be. One attempt was enough, believe me. They’re best enjoyed when held at arm’s length.
Gay Thomas
Twink is not a slur. So dumb.
Dymension
Any perfectly innocuous term can be turned into a slur. It’s all in how you say it. If someone uses it to deride someone, we shouldn’t just automatically label the word a slur. Remember, words don’t have power. We choose to give them power.
PinkoOfTheGange
Nope its not a slur on the face of it. But like many innocuous words it can be used as one. It has to do with the nuance of the use.
It seems that the young people of today just want to not have to deal with nuance these days and they do it by canceling any thing that might hurt feelings of one of their friends. But when some pushed back on “cis” they got gaslit by the same people that want to regulate words like twink.
Ronbo
THIS!
Seth
Anyone with time to be upset over such trivialities should be upset by them, early and often.
Twink is a slur in the same way Queerty is journalism.
Spyral
This is — literally and totally NOT hyperbolically — the DUMBEST story I have seen in print in years.
The author’s attempt to link “twink” to Dan White’s horrific (but successful) murder defense rather than the snack cake is… strained to say the least. The author would do well to familiarize himself with Occam’s Razor.
Lastly, the attempt to make one of the blandest words in the queer lexicon into a slur is pointless and vaguely counterproductive.
Terrycloth
Go to gay bars. The old(er) guys want the twinks the twinks usually go for other twinks and maybe once in a while a daddy..I stopped going many years ago..after you go a few times your not new anymore. As soon as a new guy walks in all heads turn..then after few days. ..
Jaquelope
As told in the Eagles’ song, “New Kid In Town”
I remember the term “Twinkie” used in an old “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” skit, where it was used humorously (but also seemingly as a mild disparagement) because the entire series just dripped with “masculinity” and featured all sorts of scantily-clad women, and hetero-leaning characters, where it seemed Alan Suess’ (? spelling) flamboyant character was rather stereotypical of gay characters at the time. In the skit, astronauts had landed on another planet and the “ruler” (played by Dick Martin) was both king and queen who mentioned that they don’t have husbands or wives, but they “do have Twinkies”. The way he played his role seemed, to me, to be overly flamboyant itself, and implied that any male who acted even the least bit feminine was someone to be ridiculed. That was my take on it.
Sister Bertha Bedderthanyu
Not to go too far off topic but I am happy that black porn has moved away from a thug identity and now more in the main stream.
scotty
i was very lucky to see a gay black man who gave off the “thug” vibe in public, but give him a big white daddy and he’ll do anything you ask. met him fresh out of high school and we would get together when he came home from his military tours. havent seen or heard from him since i moved out to the west coast of vancouver island. it was sweet and awesome. thanks isaiah, i would date you all over again.
Walker
Words can only be considered “slurs” if used by the powerful against the powerless. In the gay community, to be younger, thinner, and even marginally conventionally attractive (and generally white) is to hold the power in any interaction. The twinks are more often than not the mean girls of the community–they’re the ones doing the looking down. It isn’t a “slur.”
What’s especially interesting is that the ones who graduate out of twinkdom just by getting older still hold on to the power amoung their subgroups. They just start coopting other groups’ terms and talking about body positivity. Yesterday’s twink becomes tomorrow’s Twink becomes next week’s zaddy. And they still act like bitches to anyone who hasn’t ever passed through the doors of twinkdom.
BennyTheHill
Most of the twinks I knew when I was younger are now balding and getting fat.
Karma.
LOL!!! 🙂
Karlis
First of all, the word “twink” can only be a slur if the person to whom it is applied feels that it is a slur. To me, it’s a perfectly fine word. The journalist in me, however, objects to the word “hairless” as applied to these kinds of young men. Very few of them, if any, have shaved heads, so what you were going for was “little body hair.” You’re welcome.