Just in time for Halloween season, the trailer for the much-anticipated remake of The Witches has arrived.
For the uninformed, The Witches adapts the cult novel by author Roald Dahl, who also penned Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach. The new version casts Oscar-winner Anne Hathaway as the Grand High Witch, the leader of a worldwide coven of witches hellbent on killing off all the children in the world. Squaring off against her, a plucky young hero known as The Boy (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno) and his grandmother, (Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer); a pair of working-class folk who learn of the witches’ plan, and vow to thwart it.
Related: VIDEO: Anne Hathaway can’t hold back tears during surprise visit from RuPaul
It’s hard not to look at Hathaway’s Grand High Witch with her Haute couture wardrobe and exaggerated Eastern European accent vamping around a historic hotel and not think about Melania Trump. Of course, we’re not sure Ms. Trump would have the cognitive power to put together a world-spanning plan…though learning she’s a witch would make a lot more sense of her marriage.
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For that matter it’s also hard not to get a high-camp Death Becomes Her vibe from watching the visuals and style of humor in the trailer. That may be no coincidence: Oscar-winning director Robert Zemeckis, who directed Death Becomes Her, directs here.
Stanley Tucci, Kristin Chenoweth and Chris Rock also star. The Witches was originally slated for a theatrical release, though with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, studio Warner Bros. has opted to release the film directly to HBO Max this October 22.
Liquid Silver
I LOVED this book as a kid. While I’m avoiding theaters and other spaces with human beings in them, and don’t have HBO, I’ll catch up with it eventually on DVD.
firstecho
No.
Beyond the rule that hypothetical questions in article titles are always a “no”; This movie is based on a book. A book written decades ago that explicitly mentions the character fancy attire and accent.
cctv
Um….. no. Those are some of the defining qualities of the character from the book and first movie completely unrelated to this stupid president or his stupid wife. I can’t wait I love the original movie so much and this looks like a fun smart adaptation with a great cast.
ScottOnEarth
Looks like a great movie!….and I’m onboard with any moving starring Octavia Spencer and Anne Hathaway.
sam83
This sounded promising (switching from 80s England to the 60s gothic south) but just looks ok. Anne had some huge shoes to fill left by Miss Anjelica Huston. The 1990 version still scares the hell out of me and is currently on Netflix. I don’t see the point of this remake.
dwick
not everything is about the Trumps
Fname Optional Lname
I thought that was Alyssa Edwards!
Virpilosus
The cast alone would reel me in, pun intended. And Zemeckis to top it off? Yes x 100. FUN WAS HAD BY ALL.
jayceecook
This sounded like a terrible idea when I read about it a couple years ago. Seeing the trailer makes me feel that I was wrong. It definitely, absolutely is a terrible idea. I about stopped watching the minute AH spoke, then rolled my eyes so hard I might have strained them when she flew up in the air looking like an anemic Capser the friendly ghost.
There’s camp, neo-camp, and then just terribly made. This falls into the last category.
I get the original film wasn’t an academy award level film but it at least was somewhat scary if you were a child. This looks more like a comedy than a slightly disturbing kid’s flick.
michael_totzke
Nothing like not giving something a chance … sheesh.
jayceecook
I don’t like religion, animal abuse, child abuse, arson, rape, murder, and republicanism but yeah, you know I am being way too harsh because I haven’t given those a chance either.
Look, there’s no need for this film other than to cash in on nostalgia and to appease the spirit of Roald Dahl. The original film, while not perfect and certainly of it’s time, is a cult classic and critically acclaimed. Anne with an E can’t come close to Angelica Houston and the tone and visual aesthetic of this remake is in no way scary, groundbreaking, or immersive. It’s essentially Stuart Little with witches and the makeup department from The Dark Knight. I half expected Anne to lean in and ask Stanley Tucci’s character, “Wanna know how I got these scars?”.
I do not *need* to give it a chance because I know from previous experience that I won’t enjoy this. Anne Hathaway is a hack whose greatest performance to date has been convincing people she’s a talented actress. She’s the valedictorian of the Halle Berry School of Acting.
Judging by the thousands of comments I’ve seen on YouTube, social media, and entertainment sites a lot of people seem to agree with me. If film studios wanted to dig back into this universe they could have just made a sequel. The film kind of sets one up when Luke and his grandma receive the GHW’s trunk of money and address book of all the witches in America. Instead they just remade the original story. Set it in America and most likely used the ending from the book because Dahl wept when he saw it in the 1990 version but flipped out after Jim Henson and Nicolas Roeg chose the other ending they filmed.
Sorry-not-sorry for expressing my displeasure to a film that sounded like a terrible idea on paper and looks like an even worse idea onscreen.
Thad
After listening to screaming all afternoon I’m with killing off all the children in the world. But then I usually sympathize with “bad” movie characters.
controversial2019
I was really excited for this film.
The first version was great. Scary and well done.
I love Anne and Octavia so was looking forward to this version, but the trailer has put me right off.
1. I can’t stand Chris Rock’s voice so if he’s going to be narrating over everything like in the trailer then that will ruin things for me.
2. It doesn’t look scary. It looks like they’ve perhaps tried to make it too light and humorous and that the humour will fall flat.
3. I’ve not read the book, so maybe in that the Grand High Witch has an accent, but I think there is something to be said for artistic licence and Anne putting on an Eastern European accent detracts from things and I think will be part of what makes it “not scary”
iminheatlikeacat
Yes, in the book the GHW has a heavy Eastern European accent and so does the original film adaptation so this remake is just following in its footsteps. Why on earth the writer has asked whether this is something to do with Melania Trump is beyond me, except for any excuse to try and shoehorn the Trumps into everything.
jayceecook
@iminheatlikeacat In the 1990 film Angelica Houston has more of a German accent via Russia than a strict Eastern European one. She always reminded me a bit of Natasha Fatale from The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends because of it.
Paulie P
Queerty… desperate for clicks? Guess you couldn’t think of any other way to promote the clip? So any woman who now speaks with an accent is compared to Mellie Tru*p?
Heywood Jablowme
Judging from the photo here, she’s MUCH better dressed than Malaria Trump.
michael_totzke
Looks like good fun.
Cam
Looks like fun
one more thing
Get off Melanias dick queerty, you’re so juvenile and predictable….