KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

WATCH: Kris Humphries Tries To Smoke His Wife’s Effete BFF Out Of The Closet

 

 

 

Buzzfeed’s Matt Cherette edited together a compilation of Kris Humphries’ crusade to out Kim Kardashian bestie Jonathan Cheban on Sunday’s episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

It is a wonder to behold.

You’d think Kim’s then-husband would take it easy on her other man friend, if only to get on her good side. But no, this amateur Sherlock makes it his mission to deduce whether or not Cheban is a pillow biter.

Again: “C’mon guy, shoot it to me straight…are you gay?”

And again: “He’s either gay or a serial killer.”

And again: “I’m gonna say this: He’s not not gay. Do the math.”

Ooh, Kris, your wordplay is too sophisticated for us.

Sure, there’s something heterosexist about his claims that straight guys can’t, or shouldn’t, be effeminate. But is Humphries homophobic? Not really—he makes it clear that it’d be fine with him if Cheban admitted he wanted to be Kim and not do her. And  to be fair, everyone who has ever met even or even been in the same area code as Cheban thinks he’s a sister.

All we know is, if Cheban’s alleged defamation suit against Humphries goes through, E! better have its cameras in the courthouse. It’s gonna be a cat fight!