READING ROOM

Man Finds New Way To Have Sex With His Own Butt

CAp6EvPWAAArqZdWe’ve heard of DIY penis casting, which allows men to sculpt rubber dildos out of the shapes of their own dongs, but now an erotic novelist is taking it one step further.

“Where does the miracle of science end and magic begin?”

So begins author Chuck Tingle’s latest ebook Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt.

Tingle is the author of more than 20 erotic ebooks and is perhaps best-known for his dinosaur erotica — yes, dinosaur erotica — with titles like My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass and Space Raptor Butt Invasion.

Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt tells the story of Kirk, a gay scientist on the leading edge of cloning technology, who randomly selects himself to participate in an experiment combining DNA from his butt and brain, as well as from a hawk, to make a living, breathing, talking clone of his own ass:

Today’s trial, which I have been randomly selected for as the subject, is going to take DNA from my brain, my ass, and a hawk.

Much to Kirk’s surprise, the clone is born with a set of wings:

“Happy to be here.” Says the ass. “But you can call me Kirk’s butt.”

“You know that you’re my butt?” I ask.

“Of course I do.” Says my winged ass. “I’m made from your brain, I know everything that you know.”

A slight chill runs down my spine. I hadn’t realized that all of my deepest secrets would suddenly be transplanted into this butt.

Kirk immediately feels drawn to his own butt, so he asks it out on a date. The butt happily agrees. Over a glass of wine, the two discuss the idea of sentience and knowledge. Kirk’s butt explains the difference between having memories and having experiences:

“I have all your memories about drinking wine, I know what to expect when I do it and I know what it’s going to taste like, but I’ve never truly tasted it for myself.” The butt explains. “It’s incredible.”

Soon, Kirk finds himself falling in love with his butt, confessing:

If I’m going to be honest, at this very moment I can barely contain my lust for this suave sophisticated living butt.

So he asks his butt, who he names Portork, if he’d like to “try anal.” Portork agrees and the two rush back to Kirk’s place, where Kirk pleads:

“I need you to fuck me.” I suddenly admit in a haze of lustful desperation. “I need to be pounded up the ass by my own ass!”

He continues:

“I’m just a bad little twink…And I need to be slammed from behind. I need to be taught a lesson from my own flying gay ass.”

But there’s a slight hiccup. Kirk’s butt doesn’t have a penis. Not a problem! Portork magically grows one. And the two make mad passionate love. The end.

It’s a short, sweet tale about, well, we’re not entirely sure. But fans seem to like it:

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Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt is currently #38 on Amazon’s erotic horror bestseller list.

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