Screen Shot 2015-02-03 at 12.40.03 PM“At the end of a row of lockers, I turn a corner and there he is. It’s a giant of a man, a warrior. His muscles ripple in soft light and a splash of water coming from the shower head,” reads New England Patriots’ tight end Rob Gronkowski from the erotic fan fiction story about himself called A Gronking To Remember.

We got a sneak peek at the meta-reading last week at the Super Bowl Media Day, but now he’s back to finish what he started.

“His buttocks are sublime,” continues Rob. “Gronk has a 6-pack you could wash laundry on. I lick my lips thinking about it.”

They might want to fins someone besides Rob to do the book on tape, however. He’s a bit flat. Good thing that whole football thing seems to be working out for him.

Watch below:

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