Woof! All that nastiness with the church got us a little riled up, so let’s tone it down a bit, shall we? In fact, let’s tone it down a lot and have a laugh…at your expense.
No, no, we’re not going to be making fun of you. (Although, there are a few readers out there that deserve a bit of needling. You know who you are.) You’ll be making fun of yourselves.
Remember those embarrassing moment columns in Cosmo – don’t pretend like you don’t know what we’re talking about, you old ‘mos, we’ve all read them – well we want to do that, too. Only gay.
We’ll start: back when we used to venture into the world of the living, we tried spitting game at this fine ass man, but no matter how suave we got, he just wasn’t interested. In fact, he looked repulsed. Discouraged, we excused ourselves and slinked off to the bathroom for a cry. As we lurched toward the stall, we caught a reflection of ourselves in the mirror and saw the source of his revulsion: we had a bloody tampon hanging from our nose from our coke binge the night before! Oh no! How embarrassing!
Okay, so that didn’t happen, but it could have. Maybe it even happened to you. If so – and if even if not – send us your tales and we’ll post the most shameful, awkward, and cringeworthy of the bunch. Think of it as collective therapy.