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THE QUEERTY INTERVIEW

EXCLUSIVE: Chris Crocker Tells All, Describes His Weird Fame, Gender Transition And Porn Plans

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You may remember Chris Crocker as the femmy “Leave Britney Alone” guy, but he isn’t. At least, not anymore.

Or you may know him as the butched-up Maverick Men porn performer. But that’s all in the past, too.

So if he’s not a sobbing teen lady or a barebacking beardo, who is he? That’s a question that nobody, even Chris, can easily answer. In a wide-ranging interview with Queerty this month, Chris opened up about how weird fame has changed him, how he’s tossing aside his former boyish look (again), and his plans for the future — including a gender transition and raising kids.

One thing we know for sure: with 119,111 Facebook followers, 179,000 Twitter fans, he’s one of those self-invented social media icons that we love, a little messy, more than a little sexy, completely unguarded and fluent in a new language that is changing at lightening speed how we see ourselves and the way the world sees us.

Chris first rocketed to fame in 2007, when simply everyone watched his YouTube video. But he’d been fiddling with internet fame for years before that, posting cute photos and engaging in unabashed online combat. A homeschooled boy, he was mostly raised by his grandparents after his teen mom ran into difficulty. Isolated geographically in Tennessee, he found companionship on the internet. And though he’s moved around the country since then, the internet seems to be where he’s most at home.

As of just a few days ago, Chris and Justin’s latest move is back home to Tennessee. There, they’ll finish up Justin’s military commitment, away from what Chris calls the “mental fog” of Los Angeles. And they’ll also plan their next moves. Chris and Justin are young people at a crossroads: together, they’ve built a life and a brand and a colossal following. Now they just need to figure out what to do with it.

We caught up with Chris and his boyfriend Justin at Food + Lab in West Hollywood for a conversation in three acts. (Part II & Part III are now available.) Justin’s a few years younger than Chris — 20 and 26, respectively — and appeared with Chris and some friends in that porn.

Did you set down roots in LA?

Chris: I would prefer to be somewhere where I’m seen as a person and not a persona. And I feel like New York is somewhere where I can really dive into my creativity and hone in on that, rather than the publicity angle of everything. But I’m obviously here for a reason, so I thought I would stick it out for a year. And it’s approaching a year. And I’ve done cool things. I’ve been able to do TV appearances and stuff. But it’s not going exactly as I hoped.

[Chris recently appeared in Toddrick Hall's parody of Mean Girls, which he says was one of the best things he's gotten to do in LA.]

Is “Chris Crocker the Persona” a business?

C: I guess. It was never the goal. I never got my GED, so I was never going to have a 9-to-5. … I’m not really qualified to do things that aren’t entertainment related. But it’s hard to get those auditions and show people I am not just a crying lunatic, I have a bigger capacity. I don’t have a publicist. It’s just me doing it.

What have you been doing in LA?

C: Dr. Drew, I just did that. He’s wanting me back as a recurring pop culture person I guess. And I’ve done Tosh.0 on Comedy Central a couple months back. And I’m working for Russel Simmons’ new online company. We’re doing a web series for him called Hungry. So that’s fun.

If you could do any personal project, what would it be?

C: We have this really pretty courtyard where I live, and we were thinking it would be “The Courtyard with Chris Crocker.” And you come over for coffee or tea and we talk about your problems. I want to do something a little more conversational, with an open dialogue … to show more of me, but also something that involves other people. It’s a little boring when you’re constantly filming yourself.

I already know my potential, but it’s really hard to showcase that when you’re constantly this one-note high-strung gay stereotype to people. Which I’ve participated in perpetuating that for my own benefit, but ultimately it was my own downfall. So now it’s time to do everything to expand.

Seems like you’re breaking away from your past.

C: I started very androgynous. And now I’ve kind of gone … 360. So now I’m starting to wear girls clothes again, and I’m trying to grow my hair out, because I feel I wasn’t happy living as an everyday masculine guy. I was actually trying to just …

Justin: You were trying too hard.

C: It wasn’t that I was trying too hard — I wanted to experiment, and become the kind of guy I’m attracted to before I committed to getting boobs and whatever. I wanted to see if I liked living as an everyday guy. But I’ll never be an everyday guy, so it didn’t work.

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So have you found the identity you want to stick with?

C: Some people get a haircut. I change genders or gender aesthetics. I don’t know that I’ll ever be content just one way or another. But I’m on the journey to figuring that out.

It keeps coming up: do I want to transition? Because I’m getting older. I’m 26, and you start hardening in the face and everything else. So it’s hard, because I know I would have no problem completely transitioning for myself. … But I come from a Pentecostal family, so you know. And it would change our [his and Justin's] relationship a lot. He says he would still stay with me, but I know he wouldn’t be as attracted to me. So I don’t know.

Is it an issue for you, Justin?

J: No. We’ve been on and off for like three and a half years, and if that is what he wanted to do to be a hundred percent complete with himself, I would a hundred percent accept that. And it might change, like, certain things, but I have an open mind to be accepting.

C: But obviously you wouldn’t be as physically attracted. We’d have to start talking about an open relationship and all this stuff. And then it also effects who is attracted to you. Like if we did have an open relationship so he gets satisfied being with a guy, it’s so complicated. But it’s ultimately, I know I can’t live my life for other people, even if it is Justin.

Seem like a chameleon lifestyle.

C: I think I’m getting tired of that chameleon lifestyle. Like I said, I know I would be 100 percent happy living as a girl. But it’s a lot of work, and it’s a lot of therapy you have to go through. And I’m willing to put in that work. But I need to be really confident. So I’ve been working back towards getting my confidence back so now I’m just playing around with getting girls clothes again. For so long, when I would go out in public, I couldn’t even go to the girls bathroom or the guys bathroom like in airports.

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[In part two, we'll talk about the couple's foray into porn, and Chris reveals how RuPaul helped him avoid a trainwreck.]

Read Part II 

Read Part III

By:           matt baume
On:           Feb 7, 2014
Tagged:
  • 41 Comments
    • wagnerwallace
      wagnerwallace

      I don’t know Crocker personally, but he comes off as if he has a lot of issues and like he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life.

      So far I know he’s a high school drop out, who does porn, and can’t commit to whether he wants to be a boy or girl.

      There’s so many more gays doing positive things with their life. Gays who are having children and starting families. Why must we continuously give this troubled attention seeker and his open relationship anymore media attention.

      And he’s not a “celebrity”. He’s a YouTube star who occasionally pops up on your favorite gay blogs and porn sites…

      Feb 7, 2014 at 8:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tookietookie
      tookietookie

      This is where we are now? I’m sympathetic to trans b/c of trapped in body of wrong gender. Not just tired of being a femmy boy.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 11:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoelG
      NoelG

      @wagnerwallace: Judgementalism sucks. You should learn that. Chris is still young and dealing with things that a lot of people spend their lives trying to work out. With Chris, this includes not only a difficult upbringing but also having to work out his gender identity. He’s just doing it publicly. Get off his back and let him live his life.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 11:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DistingueTraces
      DistingueTraces

      I do find him interesting – and I think his attitude to gender expression is healthy, much healthier than the idea that you must be “trapped” in the “wrong” body as a medical condition in order to step outside the limits of conventional manhood or womanhood.

      Not that he’s a role model – obviously he comes from a difficult background and has struggled very publicly with becoming an adult after such a strange childhood and adolescence. But given everything I think he has a surprisingly clear-eyed perspective on himself.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 12:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • boring
      boring

      When he said “I’m getting older, I’m 26,” I burst out into a shower of giggles.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 12:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AlexM
      AlexM

      So.. is he transitioning?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 12:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DistingueTraces
      DistingueTraces

      @wagnerwallace: How is an open relationship not a family?

      Many of the people I know in open relationships – most of whom are straight – are also getting married and raising children.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 12:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Apparatus
      Apparatus

      I really don’t see anything redeemable about this man. YouTube “star” turned bareback porn “star” turned…oh right, nothing.

      If this is what passes for a gay celebrity worthy of a Queerty Exclusive sit-down these days we’re f’d.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kangol
      Kangol

      I would so watch “The Courtyard with Chris Crocker.” I wish him the best on his journey!

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • litper
      litper

      It’s so disgusting I don’t have word for this. And Justin must be very weird bisexual if he likes THIS THING.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thedrdonna
      Thedrdonna

      @DistingueTraces: His experience is not true for all trans people. The feeling of being trapped is oftentimes not only due to gender expressions, but the shape of the body itself. If you think trans women are literally mutilating their genitals (sans anesthesia, at home, with household implements) due to the fact that society won’t let them wear a dress or lipstick, then you may want to talk to some actual trans people offline and learn more about their experiences.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • litper
      litper

      All this is just propaganda of heterosexuality, wishing to turn gay couple into straight… a proof that for some transsexuality is just extreme form of self-loathing

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      He seems a little lost, poor guy, I hope he figures out what it is he wants to do. At a minimum he should go get his GED, finishing something you started can definite boost confidence and might clear his head a bit.

      As for transitioning, hopefully he will figure out just what it is that he wants, it sounds like he wants to but is more worried about his family.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DistingueTraces
      DistingueTraces

      @Thedrdonna: No experience is true for all trans people.

      A couple of friends have transitioned, so although it’s not something I know from the inside, I have seen how freeing it was for them to settle into bodies that felt like their own, how much more relaxed and natural in their physicality they were able to be afterwards.

      That doesn’t mean that being transgendered is an affliction to be cured.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • wagnerwallace
      wagnerwallace

      @DistingueTraces: Maybe you didn’t read my comment. I never said an open relationship is not a family, although I do question ones ability to commit to kids when they can’t even commit to their relationship, but that’s a different topic. I did however question why we continue to give this attention seeker and his open relationship media coverage. What is he doing that’s inspirational or newsworthy? He’s a high school drop out, he does bareback porn, he does any and everything on YouTube for attention, and he’ can’t seem commit to anything – like his relationship or gender reassignment surgery.

      @NoelG: I’m not being judgmental, I even started my comment with a disclaimer (“I don’t know Crocker personally…”). But he’s asking for comments and criticism, otherwise he wouldn’t have sat down for this interview. Chris Crocker opens himself up for opinions when he makes his YouTube videos, his bareback pornos, and now this interview.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DistingueTraces
      DistingueTraces

      @wagnerwallace: Hey buddy, fuck you. That’s about all, really.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DShucking
      DShucking

      Gender transition? Not this again. God dammit!

      Feb 7, 2014 at 3:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DShucking
      DShucking

      “Some people get a haircut. I change genders or gender aesthetics. I don’t know that I’ll ever be content just one way or another. But I’m on the journey to figuring that out.”

      And we’re supposed to take this guy seriously?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 3:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tada-no
      tada-no

      Is the military so progressive these days? Back in the day, Crocker’s BF would be thrown out of the military for his porn career before he could blink. But it could be that for non front-line units like infantry or armor, they’re not as concerned for extracurricular activities.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 3:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DShucking
      DShucking

      @tada-no: I don’t know how he isn’t kicked out of the military. Those guys who did the Airborne (whatever the number was) video were kicked out. Can’t you get court martialed for having an extra-marital affair?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 3:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thedrdonna
      Thedrdonna

      @DistingueTraces: I’m trans, too. I mostly just wanted to point out that although sometimes people may not feel “trapped” by their body, there are others for whom that is true and they shouldn’t be invalidated. There are those (even here on this very site!) who would claim that being freer to express our gender without heteronormative values being forced on us would eliminate the need for people to transition, which of course ignores that a sizeable portion of the trans community is LGB, post transition.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 3:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • redcarpet
      redcarpet

      If this were anyone else, I would take them at their word, but Chris Crocker? I suspect this is just a way to keep himself in the news.

      He’s the definition of stunt queen.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 4:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KDub
      KDub

      Wow. This guy makes the trans community seem more confused/crazier than everyone already thinks they are.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • barkomatic
      barkomatic

      It doesn’t sound like Chris is certain enough to make a surgical gender transition at this point. For one thing, he is still referring to himself as male. He seems to think that being feminine must mean he is transgender–and that’s just not the case. Since its a procedure that can never be truly undone, I think it would be wise for him to live as a woman without surgery until he’s older and more mature. It would be a plus if he could at least earn his GED as well.

      I wish Chris and Justin the best.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • yaletownman
      yaletownman

      @DistingueTraces: Now, now. Didn’t mama tell you that you can’t speak outside the trailer park like you do when you’re at home?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrianZ
      BrianZ

      I want to say something witty, maybe a bit trite, but the previous comments really over-kill it.

      I do wish Chris success, and maybe not quite as messy in his next 26 years.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Christopher22
      Christopher22

      Whatever the future brings, I wish Chris and Justin the best. They seem such a cute couple.

      With Chris’ contacts in the entertainment industry, maybe some of this effort with web series and such could go to exploring the reality of those transitioning. (Chris might benefit from the exposure to others making this journey.)

      Feb 7, 2014 at 6:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Snapdragon
      Snapdragon

      Chris and people like him are what contribute to the mass confusion that other people have about why transition is “needed” and not just a choice. People who don’t follow the guidelines and do this willie nilie are the problem and they are the ones that hurt the community far more then they help it. If someone really suffers from Gender Dysphoria then let them go see a therapist and get help begin the process of transition if not then quit screwing things up for everyone else by playing dress up because you just serve to confuse people as to who is and who isn’t trans and what it mean to be trans.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 8:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • litper
      litper

      Enough with this gay erasure. Self-haters at Queerty want to force fake hetero relationship on two confused gay guys.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 8:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lazycrockett
      Lazycrockett

      Britney, Porn, Gender, wonder what his next pr stunt will be.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 9:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darreyl102
      Darreyl102

      “We’d have to start talking about an open relationship and all this stuff.”
      – Um, excuse me, but aren’t you two already in an open relationship of sorts. Call me crazy but starring in a porno together and getting fucked by other men must fall somewhere in that category.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 10:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jmmartin
      jmmartin

      @NoelG: I agree. Leave Chris alone!!!

      Feb 8, 2014 at 12:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jasentylar
      jasentylar

      I think he is interesting. But the schtick gets old after a while. He rides it until he can’t anymore then he finds something else. He’s lost like most twenty-somethings and I hope he finds his way.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 12:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stranded
      stranded

      @Darreyl102:

      Open relationships would imply, Justin or Chris having sex with other people in their private lives. Porn is work.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 2:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darreyl102
      Darreyl102

      @stranded: Sex is Sex.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 3:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • diklikkr
      diklikkr

      My my. 26 Why that is practically middle age for gay men. NY is expensive and highly competitive as is LA…People with good solid college degrees are having a hard time. I hope this boy is being realistic. No education, and from what little I have seen NO acting talent. Good luck kid, you’re gonna need it.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 6:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jakestone
      jakestone

      I think it’s very sad, to read this article. In a way, it kind of represents the gay community as a whole. Whens the last the time you saw a gay couple stay monogamous? for how long? I have never seen the foundations of a gay relationship stand strong as a straight relationship. If a gay couple is monogamous expect a breakup soon. Chris seems extremely troubled, and very lost, I really do wish he figures everything out. It’s sad. I don’t think chris should get a transition, I think it’s a decision he will regret deeply. Also, if the transition truly made him happy (which it doesn’t) then wether your bf finds you attractive or not shouldn’t stop you. IF it does, there is problems. It’s quite clear that justin doesn’t want him to either.

      I truly wish you the best for both of you, even if you’re really troubled young couple.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 9:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • diklikkr
      diklikkr

      @jakestone: I guess I must be the exception to the rule since we are monogamous and have been together 25 years. If you think with your penis then yes you are doomed to fail every time.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 9:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MMDD
      MMDD

      @jakestone: Please don’t generalize. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years and have been monogamous the entire time. I only need one penis to keep me satisfied, and believe me, it’s his.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DShucking
      DShucking

      @jakestone: “Whens the last the time you saw a gay couple stay monogamous? for how long? I have never seen the foundations of a gay relationship stand strong as a straight relationship.” I feel very sad for you.

      Feb 8, 2014 at 5:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ralphe
      Ralphe

      What is it that lets a person like Chris put on pink glasses and look that good?

      Jul 4, 2014 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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