GIRL BYE

Gay Men Officially Forbidden From Acting Like Black Women. Clapping, Too, Is Off Limits.

tumblr_lvt540WWrw1r1bf8y“White gay men are the dominant demographic within the LGBT community,” the U.K.’s National Union of Students (NUS) determined at a meeting earlier this week, “and they benefit from both white privilege and male privilege.”

“White gay men often assert that they are ‘strong black women’ or have an ‘inner black woman,'” NUS continued, calling such behavior “unacceptable” and saying it “must be addressed.”

Therefore, it was officially decided, gay white men may no longer act like black women.

According to its website, NUS is a group dedicated to making “a real difference to the lives of students.” The organization consists of 600 student union group across the U.K., representing the interests of more than seven million students.

NUS passed a motion forbidding gay men from emulating “the mannerisms, language (particularly AAVE- African American Vernacular English) and phrases that can be attributed to black women.”

A second motion passed was the banning gay men from dressing in drag as it could be offensive to trans women. (Queer students who want to cross-dress in their everyday lives as a mode of self-expression, however, are exempt from this rule, NUS said.)

Lastly, the group announced on Twitter this week: “Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping as it’s triggering anxiety. Please be mindful!”

That’s right, clapping is also forbidden by the group.

A NUS spokeswoman told Gay Star News, “We’re a democratic society, and if members voted for it, these are our policies.”

Any white gay man caught breaking these rules will be sentenced to death before a firing squad.

Just kidding.

It’s not clear what the penalties will be or even how they will be enforced. That seems to be beside the point anyway. NUS said its primary goal in instituting these new totalitarian rules is to “raise awareness.” To itself, no doubt.