In his latest video, Davey Wavey asks younger gays to “Show Some F*cking Respect” to that silver-haired daddy you walk past in a crowded bar. It’s men of a certain age that made it possible for you to be such a fierce young queen.
“I am so sick and so tired of seeing young gay guys walk into a club, for example,” Wavey reveals. “I get so fired up about this, and they’ll be like, ‘Ew! That old creepy gay guy is so disgusting. He’s so gross. He looks like Santa Claus. Ew, he checked me out! Ew!’ Let’s think about this for a second. That creepy old gay man that looks like Santa Claus and the people of his generation are literally — literally! — the only reason that you can walk down the street in your pink fucking tank top, holding your boyfriend’s hand and not get your ass beat.”
Related: How Would You React If Your Father Came Out As Gay?
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James Rumsey
Whilst I agree older gay men should be respected based on struggles they lived in – this doesn’t extend to the closet cases who waited until now and it doesn’t give you an automatic right to be a letch, or to touch someone who doesn’t want it. Older people need to show respect as well.
Darnell Hill
By not shown respect, it shows the character of that person. I will not date or tolerate anyone who is disrespectful. Major character flaw.
Glen Martin Fitch
You can respect a pack of abs, but it’s a belly you fall in love with.”
Glücklich
@Glen Martin Fitch:
Yeah we heard you the first half-dozen times.
Bauhaus
I’m a man of a certain age. I don’t club or go to bars, but I do go out. Young guys treat me *extremely* well and are very polite to me. Matter of fact, it’s mostly guys in the 25-30 age range attracted and interested in me.
Paco
Oh just wait for the day they look into their bathroom mirrors and realize they have become the very thing they were grossed out by in their youth. It’s the circle of gay life.
Bob LaBlah
I love the look on the faces of younger gay men when I tell them my age. The next words out of their mouths are “I had figured you for the late forties” or “why don’t you dye your beard” and foolishness along those lines. I am fifty-eight years old and make NO apologies for it.
By the time the conversation is over (at least with those whom I feel are worthy of a conversation) I tell them politely that they are not going to be as lucky as I presently am in the sense of retirement, job security and social security. It is now etched in stone that in order to enjoy the lifestyle that I enjoy they are going to have to work up to the day they die. Many of them are never going to be able to retire. I leave actually laughing at the blank stares from those who never thought about that and hope they realize that those round, bubblish looking buns and six packs are not going to last forever.
Alan down in Florida
I agree with Davey. Too many young gays have no clue of what we older gays had to live and fight through just to be standing here alive in 2016. I’d complain about gay life being too easy for them but that’s exactly what we were fighting for.
ted72
This is the first time I agree with Davey.
jkb
@ted72: Agree with and actually sense he has some compassion and understanding of the world.
Glücklich
Sorry this is so long…
My husband, Mr. Glücklich is right on the cusp of being “a certain age,” having been in his 20’s in the late 80’s. Many of his friends are older than he so I am not totally without some understanding of this Queerty post.
If I may, I think what comes across as a lack of respect for the struggles of an older generation of gays – those who lived through AIDS and ACT UP and really fought for their rights and the rights of today’s young people – may be…fatigue?…or a simple lack of understanding of the magnitude of those struggles.
Those of us who had parents or grandparents who lived through the Depression era might understand that sense of fatigue. Their stories have value but how often were they told over and over over? How enjoyable is basking in someone’s martyrdom? Or understand how the country ground to a halt with bread lines and men jumping out of windows after losing everything?
My grandmother was a Depression teen. She was an orphan by 16 and couldn’t eat avocados as an adult because someone gave her a crate full of them back then and that was pretty much *all* she ate for a month. I heard that over and over again as a kid, and while I had empathy the first 50 or so times she mentioned it, it was as if she were expecting a medal from me or anyone else within earshot.
While I agree respect has been earned and should be given, the tone of the complaints about young people simply seems to be they were born in a different decade. Is the expectation that boys born in the 90’s bow and scrape to those old enough to have been adults in the 70’s and 80’s?
How about those complaining? Do they have the same kind of appreciation they’re demanding for the difficulties of the zeitgeist of, I dunno, WWII Europe?
Don’t be surprised when the grasp of the magnitude of 9/11 begins to weaken simply because lots of people have been born in the ensuing decade-and-a-half and didn’t live through it.
I enjoy the company of men who lived through that early Out-Gay era but it’s largely because they’re not martyrs about it and aren’t expecting to hold court while elucidating the young’uns. Even *they* would rather tell stories about the nightlife and easy-sleazy sex than going to back-to-back funerals and protests.
No one is perfect, guys. No disrespect intended; just an opinion based on *my* experience.
Brent Labee
because Davey Wavey says so
Prinny
He probably got rejected by some twink. Nobody owes respect to anyone , YOU EARN IT! Who’s been pushing the gay rights these days, and they’re doing it for themselves and not for others, just like the ones from earlier decades.Nobody is born special so that have to owe you something.
Stache
@Bob LaBlah: Bob I had a conversation with this guy way back when I was 23. He was in his late 50’s too and was literally crying telling me to start now and don’t make the same mistake he did. That is working till he dies. Haunts me to this day.
Bob LaBlah
@Stache: Be grateful that HE is probably telling you the truth. We all have dreams of riches but it takes a real man to admit to a younger one he didnt plan for the future. I don’t need a crystal ball to bet he aint the only one but at least he admits it.
Bob LaBlah
@Stache: Always, ALWAYS be aware of those who flaunt what they have. In this financial climate you would be surprised at the spider webs that float thru the internet.
Masc Pride
I think it’s a two-way street. Lots of older gay men don’t act very respectable and can often times act quite creepy/pervy when it comes to younger guys. If you want respect, don’t be a perv to a guy that wasn’t even born when you graduated from college.
@Prinny: Respect should be a common courtesy…until people prove they don’t deserve it.
Captain Obvious
Oh God who cares? Go out on the street in public and demand respect… good luck with that. If you’re living your life worried about what others think you’re in for daily disappointment.
They’re living their lives, live yours, and stop looking for someone else’s validation.
robho3
I was brought up to respect your elders- gay, straight or otherwise. The youth of today does not have that view point. I see young people today disrespecting their parents in public and having no respect for anyone accept themselves. This is not only a gay problem. We have raised a generation of spoiled, entitled kids that expect to be handed everything they want. They have no social or work ethic. They think it’s ok just to ignore someone that says hi to you if they don’t fit into their world. Its disturbing. Even when I was young I was polite with older people- times are just different. But this young generation today is headed for problems I can tell you that.
On another note there does seem to be a small group of younger gays that are into this whole ‘daddy’ thing. Granted it is a small number and is mostly in the bear community ( which I find refreshing that they are respectful and non judgmental to all people). It is interesting. I have been persued by several very young men which is good- I’m not specifically into young guys but a good looking guy is a good looking guy whether they are 18 or 80- green, black, yellow, purple. I guess if everyone though like this the world would be a better place.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Cusp. I like it. Full-fledged this year? LOL! Great post, by the way.
I enjoy conversation. I also enjoy flirtation. Doesn’t mean I want more from a guy, whether he’s younger or older than I am.
Nobody likes a letch. Total turn-off.
Stache
Oh and that also means the youngies should make a point of having sex with over the hill guys at least once a year. Think of a special day to honor them the best way you know how. It would be like Christmas for allot of lonely old men. What better way to show respect.
Stache
Oh and lastly it’s not ever to be called a pity fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt0luO1dZIc
oddchild1
The problem is that it is acceptable to be a mean spirited malcontent in the gay community. “Oh he’s so fat his neck looks like he’s smuggling a pack of hot dogs; Skeletor over there needs to put on some muscle, god steroids much; oh god look at Methuselah over there; bitch looks twelve, boy needs to hit puberty. I hate it when guys are just stereotypical queens; man up bitch. That hoe over there is trying to hard; honey everyone knows you’re a bottom.” It never ends; this is a problem we need to deal with. The negativity and bullying in the gay community is what needs to end.
Emery Biggar
You earn respect, It’s never free. If an older guy is an ass… no respect. If he’s genuine and respectful to you then he’s earned respect. This is from an older guy.
Bob LaBlah
@oddchild1: I hear where your coming from but trust me, the types you described are the types the bar owners CLING to. They are lonely so they come in, get in their groups, get out of earshot of those they have chosen to demonize and keep the drinks a’coming to keep the chatter going. It is normal for them to spend at least thirty dollars apiece before they leave. They are the ones who help keep the rent, taxes and light bills up to date. They also grow into the frustrated old queens who never paused long enough to look at their future.
asby
Is this why Davey always has “older” guys in his YouTube videos?…rather than shirtless hairless twinks?
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Full-fledged come December.
JerseyMike
Sounds like the older guys are asking for something they didn’t give.. We didn’t give it to the guys before us and they didn’t give it to the guys before them. I don’t try and push my values and beliefs on the youth.. If they ask for it I am more than willing to give it. I will always help were I can gay or str8.
Michael Golden
Very hot
Roy Lewis
Very true!!
Rikard Harward Pearson
there is a lot of blame to go around. as older men we scorn the things younger people value, or reek of desperation as we struggle to stay relevant. we act creepy in public as we openly objectify and lust after them. on the plus side there are many young men who are attracted to older men, they are just not out about it with their friends, so they may not check you out in the club, but they are looking for you on grindr.
J.r. Graff
I do respect older gay men — it’s just that they don’t respect that I’m not into them. Just because I’m polite to you doesn’t mean I want to get with you. Pederasty is gross – I’m not into it – stop it.
Camilo Sandoval
I’m not saying not to respect older men. But some abuse the privilege.
If an old straight man went and hit on 20 somethings the way some of these men do at the gay club he’d get his ass kicked.
onthemark
Santa Claus, lol, well after all Santa Claus is best known for bringing presents. If you’re an older guy and you go to a gay club that caters mostly to a young crowd, what is your motive? Come on, we know what the motive is. Santa has a full wallet and is looking for… um, young “companionship.” Santa doesn’t need your respect, let alone your pity. Santa knows that for every nine twinks who say “ew!” there will be one who’s interested in the presents.
I appreciate Davey Wavey’s concern about this (non) issue, but there’s a time and place for everything.
It works differently outside of bars. For instance I’m involved in a group focused on a specific subject, that’s mostly a bunch of us older guys, but it has a few young enthusiastic members who obviously enjoy asking us about our experiences. That’s great. I enjoy hearing about their world too, which is often very different from my life at that age. But I don’t hit on them for sex, and I would never seek out that sort of validation (if that’s what it is) in a bar setting.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Remarkable. We come into our daddy-o status at the same time! Close enough, anyway.
Stache
@J.r. Graff: No you don’t. You just lumped them all together and called them pedophiles. I think you have issues.
PolishBear
For the record, I’m one of those older guys Davey Wavey is referring to. In the early 1990s I was marching, speaking at public hearings, writing letters to the editor, and being interviewed on TV and radio about LGBT issues, at a time when most other Gay people here in West VIrginia were reluctant to do so. I’ve paid my dues, and I still do my bit for the community. But NOW, at the age of 56, younger Gay guys won’t even give me the time of day. Personally I’m more interested in guys closer to my own age, but I enjoy intelligent conversation with anyone. Instead, I get looks that say, “Ewww, what’s SHE doing here?” It’s one of the reasons why I don’t go to Gay bars much anymore. Frankly, I get more respect from Straight people.
Stache
@PolishBear: Damn that’s sad. You were one of the one’s fighting for more gay acceptance. Now we have that and you get thrown under the bus proving once again that the “gay community” is nothing but an illusion.
Bob LaBlah
@PolishBear………..over the years I have learned to be grateful when people have let me know from the beginning were I on fire they would not spit nor p… down wind in my direction were I on fire because some of the mist might help put out the fire. A selfish, spoiled rotten brat who has to have their way about every thing is the last thing you or any other gay man our age need to end up with.
George Volpe
Jim McCausland……..he’s talking about us.
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
According to Mr. Glücklich, *I’m* the Daddy up in here. And I Love. Every. Bit. Of it.
zeestpl
As a 67 year old man living in the Ft. Lauderdale area – I wish every young man in the Wilton Manors area would view this video and remember that they, too will mature each and every day of their lives. Thank you Davey Wavey for your respectful video!
o.codone
I seriously doubt that the older guys hanging out in the gay club were all activists who paved the way for today’s civil rights climate. They were just like us, hang out, have a few drinks, meet friends, get dick, repeat. Maybe some of them were activists, sure but I bet most of them were the narcissistic, bitchy drama mavens just like today’s crowd. Also let’s give credit to the straight community who pushed for us, because those santa claus guys didn’t do all that by themselves.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Big Daddy. 🙂
sesfm
The oooonly reason Davey Wavey is famous at all is because gay guys only give a shit about hot (young) gay guys like himself. He got famous by being shirtless on YouTube – not at all because anyone have a shit about what he had to say.
It’s great that he’s speaking out about this, but how about treating older gay guys with respect simply because they’re fellow human beings who shouldn’t be treated as sub-human because of their age? It shouldn’t be because of some assumption about their role in the gay rights movement. And when is anyone going to talk about how it’s also unacceptable for gay guys to react similarly when someone who’s unattractive or not ripped or not the right skin color steps up in their precious club? Not that that’s an issue people like him have ever been confronted with. But I think this is a problem that goes far beyond not appreciating gay pioneers. Maybe someday Davey Wavey will decide to have his first conversation with an ugly gay and realize this.
paul_hazeltine
At what point did this turn into a older guys Wanting to. Get with the young guys. Gosh no I want a man. Not a. Glitter queen. In his 20s With there. Girly eye brows. Lip gloss. Makeup. I’m a gay man that. Like.s Men. To be men. That. Plastic. Eyebrowed fake ass shit. Don’t wash with me. And. Yes. I’m on my 40s. And can still cut. You little queens dead. Bosh